I'm drunk

I'm drunk

I'm tired of politics

Can we please have a post anything thread?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=KAExa9P7hME
youtu.be/gXzMD065HEk
youtube.com/watch?v=sa1iS1MqUy4&vl=en
urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=deigo
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Liberalism is a mental disorder

I'm going to samefag the fuck out of this thread.

Posting anything

It sure is! Thank you for your input!

youtube.com/watch?v=KAExa9P7hME

Ass

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Did this blow your mind? You may have been red-pilled. You may be a simple man.

Here's your sign.

Bumping.

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keeping this thread alive cause i sont know where to post these pics

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Alright nigger what's good then beside politic? Trump and putin made out earlier for 2 hrs

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mind if i spam my family problems?

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Keep it short fam

Please do

Go ahead mah boi

I saw that, pretty hot

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Yes. Do eet.

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my mother is a disaster of a human. growing up she seemed to keep everythign together. maybe she did. maybe it was all a lie. Lying has become her primary form of communication. She treats us like her little dolls, insisting we act a certain way so she can pretend she has a perfect family, but then manipulating us against one another to suit her will. She fucks it all up then says it was just a game.

most recently she tried to turn me against my father. I didn't meet the man until i was 4, and I was not a fan. He was in the military so he wasn't exactly around a lot even after that. He left us for a year when i was 9 and i was basically left to take care of both my older and little brother. my older brother was a delinquent and I had to do my best just to stop him from destroying everything.

my mother came to me when they were talking about divorce and told me he left on purpose, that she suspected her of cheating on him with his brother so had to get away. I can respect the decision to run off and find your self, but it doesn't mean I have to respect him. This was the final nail in what was already a pretty full coffin.

but with everything coming to light, that might be a lie. I tried talking to them both about it, but he denied it, they both stuck to their stories , and then did what they do best: pretend it didn't happen. one of them was lying, the other knew it, and they just keep on going as if it didn't matter.

cont

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Yuri changed his name from Thomas to Yuri when he was around 17-18. During this time he got heavily into fetishism, in particular submissive play. I myself have experimented with BDSM for around a week or so and found it not to my liking as it's far too aggressive for me to really get into. I prefer to make love to my women, you know. He loves getting ordered around, to the point where he has a Dominatrix or whatever in Adelaide who commanded him not to wash himself for over a year. He didn't, and wore the same unwashed shirt constantly. His last name was literally changed to a synonym of 'In Hell'. Legit, he used to sign off his tax returns the same way. Also, this guy was employed by the way. How the fuck he got employed I have no idea.

I met this guy during my stay at Residential Student Housing. How the fuck he got in and how the fuck he got a girlfriend is completely beyond me, all I know is that she was into Dominating and bad hygiene. Alas! Yuri had met his perfect match, or so he thought. She was far too demanding and I warned him about that, as a constantly concerned friend of his that I was at the time.

Yuri also admitted to experimenting with bisexuality, loudly, with an audience, much to the chagrin of the rest of normal sociable people, in the common room at my residential house, for everyone to hear. We were fully acquainted throughout his inane rambling that he parted cheek from asshole and let some buff dude fill him with jelly pride and he liked it. Apparently, according to him. The best of me thinks that he's an attention seeker, meaning the realist - the optimist believes that he's telling the truth but I really don't think so. I can confirm the rest of this is true, this part is chinese whispers on my end, from his mouth to mine. So who knows.

Yuri constantly made sexual remarks towards me [a male] regarding my ass.

even if he didn't have a choice in leaving us, it doesn't do much to change how I feel about him. Hes not the perfect villain by any means, but he was a bad dad, even when he was around. for some reason he picked on me the most, probably because i was the least masculine of his sons. If my older brother hated carrots he had no issues, but if i hated lasagna, he would keep up all night until I ate it, then when i finally tried, id vomit, and he'd smack me and tell me i was being 'dramatic' (as if i could force my self to throw up).

I could forgive this, I could forgive him leaving, I could forgive him smacking the shit out of me simply because I was a nervous laugher. he had some heavy crosses to bare and we all let it out negatively.

but what really makes me unable to forgive is that when I told him I was molested, he told me i needed to 'get over it' so that we could keep the family together. they insisted I continue to even share a bed with my molester, my brother.

My older brother molested me when i was 4 and he was 6. it was traumatic for the obvious reasons, but not something I held against him growing up. he was 6... not exactly the same person he is now. The unfortunate truth is it didn't end with the molestation. He is a big man, and he believes that being big means that he is in charge.

I remember one christmas I came back to visit, and my father had woken me up at 7am. like my brother, my father needed to just assert his dominance. I wa sfine waking up if there was a purpose, but i was grown man who lived on my own just visiting for the holidays, and my dad insisted 'if you're going to sleep under my roof, you gotta wake up when i want you to'.

i went to facebook and simply posted 'being an adult should mean being able to sleep in if you want to'. a bit passive agressive, sure, other than for the fact that I more or less said that to him first. i didnt see an issue with posting that.

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. My girlfriend has also remarked that I have a tight ass, Yuri says that he wants to stick his dick in it. My girlfriend doesn't have a dick, I much prefer the comment from her over Yuri, for obvious reasons.

The company that Yuri kept weren't much better than Yuri either. He constantly went to drugged out parties and took a bunch of LSD or Ice or something and came back with black lips and the like and watched Ren and Stimpy on Foxtel all night until they all fell asleep in a hetero-normative position in the bed, I only hope. God helps he man or woman who has to lean under that mans armpits. Also did I mention that after this picture or maybe even before this picture he bleached his armpits and hair yellow? Because he did that. He literally had bleached armpits, because he strived constantly to be different. I tried to sway him down a path, you know, of relative normality and likeableness, he wasn't unlikable. He was just the epitome of everything that strange could be. And that was the tragedy of the guy, I guess. From when I knew him anyway, he could've changed.

The tip of the iceberg for me [and I have plenty of similar stories of this guy, from essentially carrying his sex toys around with me for a documentary which he brought out to Flinders to fuck with me] was when he had his girlfriend at the time [god knows how the fuck he had a girlfriend] over in his room on our Residential Housing. It was a similar time at night to now, around 10 past 1am, and I was drifting off to an uneasy, student inhibited sleep lacking carbs and numerous energy supplements because y'know... Fucking University...

This is the worst pasta ever

this apparently made my mother cry though. She needs to have the 'perfect holiday' every holiday. i remember when we were younger we'd argue over which actor appeared in which movie, and she'd throw a plate at the wall and say we ruined christmas.

this facebook status about wanting to sleep in upset her. the next day my family and I went out shooting. on the way back there wasnt enough room for all the guns in the trunk so i held one in my lap as my brother drove us back to the house.

thats when he began to threaten me. he asked why i posted it, i said i was expressing my feelings. He said 'well i express my feelings with my fist, so next time you express your self im going to express my self all over your face'.

i was there, an adult, with another adult threatening to assault me because i posted an innocuous facebook update about wanting to sleep in. i had a gun in my lap, and it was already pointed in his general direction. 'i have a gun' i said. 'do not threaten me ever again'.

since then we have never been alone together. This essentially highlights our relationship. Since the very beginning it has been that he is bigger, so he is in charge of me, whether it be sexually or physically. growing up did not change this mindset at all. if he had just molested me as a kid i could overlook it. but he continued to believe that he was in charge simply because he was big.

but he took me seriously in that moment, and as a result we are no longer close.

someones shitposting pretending to be me. the whole 'yuri' bit is some asshole.

The tip of the iceberg for me [and I have plenty of similar stories of this guy, from essentially carrying his sex toys around with me for a documentary which he brought out to Flinders to fuck with me] was when he had his girlfriend at the time [god knows how the fuck he had a girlfriend] over in his room on our Residential Housing. It was a similar time at night to now, around 10 past 1am, and I was drifting off to an uneasy, student inhibited sleep lacking carbs and numerous energy supplements because y'know... Fucking University... And less I know, he texts me out of the blue, stating that he's a bit tied up. I'm a bit of an noble fucker who tries to rid himself of any ignobilities and I consider that a kind of friend/amusement man is literally tied up, knowing his fetish things, and also I believe literally watching World's Greatest Dad that very night, so I get a bit weary. I ask him, what do you mean? He says he needs help. My oh fuck meter kicks into gear and I rush over to him - the door is generally unlocked because he has a keycard in the door so he can keep the heater/cooler on [our bills were included in rent, hallelujah!] and what I worked into was a renegade of fuck and holy shit and what the as he was only partially lying. I'll try and detail the scene here as best I can, Yuri had his hand straddled around his cock beneath the ripes binding him tightly together. He had to move both of his arms, rather than his wrist, to jerk it. Meanwhile his girlfriend had her fingers down her throat as she was constantly projecting vomiting all over the room. The smell was what hit me first, the sight was what hit me after. 'Join in', he seduces not to any effect or anything else. I back out slowly and just march straight back to my room, put my phone on silent and sleep. It was at this point I realized that maybe it's not a good time to be friends with Yuri In Hell.

Ah I see. Anyways man best of luck, your mom sounds bipolar ish tho maybe she need some chill pills

now tonight is has come full circle back to mother. I was the last one to turn against her. She's tried to commit suicide (or pretended to at least) so many times in the last two years that its just become exhausting. and then she comes to me and says 'you are the only reason im alive. id die without you'.

tonight i called my little brother to inform him that I am going to be changing my number and leaving the family indefinitely. he was understanding, having still lived in my mothers town and seen her through years of abuse, cheating, and alcoholism.

we exchanged what we knew... he had no idea about me being molested and mom and dad just insisting i pretend nothing happened. likewise, I did not know that mother had come to both of them when i posted that facebook status about sleep and had asked them to get me to stop. I doubt she asked my brother to physically threaten me, but this is the kind of games she plays. Act like a victim if anyone steps just a little bit out of line, and turn everyone against each other.

she used to tell me I was her favorite. for the longest time I actually believed her. Now I wonder if she told my other brothers that too.

DON'T forget anons. This is a "post anything" thread. Shitty copypastas are cool here.

these are the real story, ignore the yuri guy.

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Surry

staff doesnt match on the green u tard

What do you call a white Mexican?

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Uncooked taco?

youtu.be/gXzMD065HEk

youtube.com/watch?v=sa1iS1MqUy4&vl=en

What blue and smells like red paint?

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You don't need eyes to see, you need vision.

hit me with it nigger

Knock knock?

Blue paint

D'ya hear about the irishman that needed a nosejob?

Nah

His name was
>Ryan O'Plasty
He had a sister with a bad heart ya know?

Nah

Her name was
>Angie O'Plasty
I'm retarded

My wife walked in on me having sex with our daughter, and she freaked out. To be honest, I can't tell what she was more disturbed about. The fact that I was having sex with our daughter, or the fact that the aboution clinic let me keep the fetus.
>How do you know you have a high sperm count?
>Your daughter has to chew before she swallows.
>What hit the ground first, the rock or the nigger?
>The rock did, because the nigger was caught by rope.
what do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
Roberto
>What's the difference between a black jew and a white jew?
The black jew has to sit at the back of the gas chamber
What's the hardest part about dumping a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it
I like my women like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke
>What do spinach and anal sex have in common?
>If you had it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult
9/11 jokes aren't funny. My dad was on one of the planes that hit the tower. I'll always remember the last thing he said on the phone before he died.
"Allahu akhbar!"
An elementary school teacher, a lawyer, a Catholic priest and three young boys are on a plane with only three parachutes. Engines explode, plane starts going down.
The teacher says, 'Save the children!'
The lawyer yells, 'FUCK THE CHILDREN!'
The Catholic priest looks around and whispers, 'Is there time?
Why do Japanese men have squinty eyes?
Atomic bombs are bright
How many black people does it take to start a riot?
>-1
>Did you hear about Ku Klux Knievel's latest stunt?
>He going to try to jump over 50 niggers with a steamroller
10% of Japanese men have cataracts, the other 90% drive either toyotas, hondas, or hyundais
How does a nigger woman knows she's pregnant.
She pulls out her tampon and all the cotton is picked.
Did you hear about the Mexican college student?
Me neither.
I propose a movement to burn Jews and niggers as our next alternative fuel source. America will run on clean, self-sustaining white power.

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Lol

What do you call an Italian sasquatch?

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Posting next president as popeye.

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A Wopping bigfoot?
A big-wopping-foot?
A Wan-Deigo?

Spag-yeti

Nice. Wan-Deigo also works and I felt proud of it so please include it occasionally when you tell the joke. or lie and say you will to support my fragile ego.

I wanna be the very best

Should I pronounce it Wen-Dago? Like wen day go? Your legendary comedic skills will spread, friend.

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Yes.

urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=deigo

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We could talk about Jewish media and Sup Forums it up

I cant breathe

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wrastle frastle my guy

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Hi

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Thats a pretty decent series, have you seen the original too?

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nobody responded to this gem?

Yes. It's pretty trippy. Starts to lose the storyline towards the end and I'm not even sure I saw the last 2 episodes cuz I've been in a concussive haze for a few years. Love the show, though.

Nah, rule63 version of Freddy Got Fingered was too low budget and if I may say - too Lesbo-phobic. I don't know why mainstream Hollywood fears the gays - they're just like straights but not at all.