Be me

>be me
>get off work
>walking to car downtown
>see guy dragging girl by the arm
>she's screaming
>imnotabetafag.jpg
>try and shove him off
>he grabs gun from waste band
>pistol whips me as I'm trying to free girl
>adrenaline engaged
>I grab him by the crotch and shoulder
>throw his ass 3 feet and lands on his head
>he's in the ICU, my dad is a doctor
He'll be paying 2 assault charges, 1 assault with deadly weapon charge, 1 unregistered firearm charge, and attempted murder. Oh, and probably $30,000 in medical bills. Me? I get some kickass pain meds, free stitches, and the girls number.
How's everyone else doing tonight?

>Kickass pain meds

What puss needs meds for some stitches

awesome, since im not a lying baiting faggot ahem ahem

Fakest story I've read all month.

you're pretty fucking lucky, but GJ

I was given lidocaine for the stitching but I'm not gonna turn down free Vicodin

user you legend. Imma grow up to be you one day. Way to come out on top there buddy. This user approves. Post threads on relationship later down the line. K ?

i was given herp a durpp slurp a cock in my ass excuse me what did you just say?

If true, gg OP

i want to lick your nipples.

>Caring about a roastie
>Sacrificing yourself for a roastie
You're still not gonna get laid

Wow. A white knight in the flesh bois. Got pistol whipped and didn't even get to first base. Nice.

Definitely not fake. Stupid ass 2mb limit. Good thing for Snapchat

feels thread for this poor fuck lying to us to try and boost his confidence
>looks like an albino ethopian
>threw the guy 3 feet
>did 20 cock push-ups right after

filename

I'll bite. why didn't you get the girls info?

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>Lying.
>Not image searching.
cuck

Fake story. If it were real the bitch and you probably both deserve it.

>I grab myself by the crotch and shoulder

I think op is truthing

fuck you and your digits.

She gave me her number. I didn't feel like sticking around too long since I had blood dripping down my face.

YESSSSS. Finnaly someone who agrees. with me

more like you were riding on a fuckin pogo stick and hit your head on mommas SUV. herrrrp derrrrp im gunna take pictures of myself getting stiches so i can show the world how badass i am herrrrp derrrp i bet the docs were laughing at you when they left the room. seriously go choke on a telephone wire you autistic peice of human trash.

Will do! Dude, I was given a shot of stuff right into my scalp and now I don't feel shit. My dad says he can see my skull.

if i cut my dick, i could tell the world it was from fucking jesus in the asshole. proof needs to be absolute you faggot

Who did you beat up, lol? You look 12.

lol then you will find out that she was a lying theiving cunt for yourself. followed by some dipshit 'hero' trying to 'save a damsel in distress' when you are getting your shit back.

Gonna have a small bald spot but not bad. Hardly felt a thing. Just popped a few Vicodin for the headache. Might pass out.

lol you got brain damage and a bald spot for some stupid bitch who is probably an evil cunt.

do us all a favor and never wake up

hmm...idk op. it went well in the end for u but you coulda been killed mate.

But he wasn't

If true, cool bro.

Don't cut yourselves on those edges

trips dont lie

why not? if i did, i could upload a picture of the injury with a false story on b!

Dad got that rolex tho..

Lol the second guy was a different guy. people give women too much credit, they are mostly bad subhuman scum. We need to repeal their ability to vote, drive, etc.

Translation:
>be me
>kissless virgin
>see a cute couple
>imagine how cool it would be if the big guy was trying to physically drag the girl and I beat him up
>didnt realise that I wasn't looking where I was going.
>ended up in a bad car crash
>Have to lose my license, attempt of murder, pressed charges against me
Already had my dad to pay a $30,000 fine since he is a doctor
How's everyone else doing tonight?

She probably is a little cunt but I don't think I'll text or call her. She's a 7/10 at best and everyone I work with are 8s and 9s

the truth hurts, dont it OP

OP, don't pass up the poon dude. Just don't.

Trust me bro she isn't a diamond if she was with an asshole like that. She is damaged goods. Damaged women will find a way to fuck you over in the end, always. Women can't be saved or repaired. Take it from a guy who thought he could save his girlfriend by being the greatest bf for over five years. They just go insane on the meds their doctors prescribe them. Find a cute girl that you actually think is smart and snag her. If you are already with a girl who is dumber, drop the dumbo fast. I promise you won't regret it in the long run.

Gonna have to pass seeing as I have a pregnant gf.
Kissless virgin with a pregnant gf? Truth hurts don't it

Listen to dubanon.
Deuce deuce means at least be a gracious gentleman and stick it in her pooper. Don't you unmannered kids ever say "you're welcome" anymore or is "yeap" enough?

Abort that shit quickly man. Nothing good comes from raising a child in the world, especially at your age. You will miss out on the golden years of college.

This is obviously not you.

At 7 months? Yeah fucking right. Stupid nigger, I'm going to be responsible and stand by my actions. Besides, look at her!

Congrats on the pregnant gf! Who's the father?
[spoiler]don't you give us that "I'm the father since I'm gonna be the one raising it" crap[/spoiler]

I am the actual father
And yes it is bitch boy.

you shouldn't of been a bitch and got stitches, then you wouldn't have a such a massive scar. allow that shit to clot fast and don't wash your hair for several days, you woulda been solid

You already are long past the point of being responsible. Enjoy your miserable future of cellulite and saggy titties, potentially a gaped vag too. I wish I had been single more years of college instead of dating the same bitch the entire time.

It gets infected if you don't stitch it properly. And I would have a huge scar if I left a gaping hole in my head.

>implying you're not a kissless virgin like the rest of us

Also your gf is actually pretty ugly. I'm not even trying to be mean. I sincerely would not fuck her at your age or my own. Then again I have standards. Her skin looks fake tanned as shit and her hair color is so unnatural it makes me want to shave it.

Someone shit the bed this morning. Haha just because you already have an ugly bitch gf doesn't mean OP will after she pops. My wife bounced back after a couple years. Sure, her body isn't the same but she's still got it alright! I might actually like it more now. Good luck OP! She's gorgeous

do you have autism?

>I'm the father since I'm gonna be the one raising it
>le precious muh copyrighted genes
and stay there

Nah I had a sexy girlfriend x10 hotter than OPs. She turned bad and we split so I could date younger women and keep my wealth. Bitches get hysterical when you say you don't want to get married. OPs girlfriend is sincerely far below my standards of would bang.

Guess what shitdick, your not gonna smash,women will continue to get manhandled, and your slowly but surely developing an addiction to pain killers. Next time mind your own fuckin business and keep your hands off that dudes dick you fucking faggot.

Oh that's such a cute story from your parents basement! I really like how you're putting your degree in anthropology and communications to good use!

Keep it up. Mommy is impressed and Daddy isn't disappointed and/or knows what a shotgun barrel tastes like or anything.

So quick to judge. She had a lot of makeup on that day which I don't really care for, so I'll give you that, but her hair color is natural. I think I had a filter on Snapchat for that pic.

Found the douchebag

Prove it's you, weak beta pussy.

You risked your life over a total stranger which shows courage but if have any sort of friendship with this girl its just asking inviting drama into your life

lol proof that Op was a baiting faggot the entire time. I have masterful facial recognition and I can tell this is a different bitch. The eyes are not the same AT ALL.

He does. As far as spectrum goes, he's stretched from end to end.

>OwTheEdge.jpg

I feel like such a fedora wearinf neckbeard fag, but i wish i could find myself in thag kind of situation one day.
Every one comes out relatively unharmed ofcourse...

I would gladly say that to your face. I love conflict.

Obviously not! There's at least a year in between these pics. One pic from a phone with a Snapchat filter (here eyes are too blue) and the other pic from a Canon 70D with a 70-200 lens. The perspective is way different because of the device taking the pics. Take your b8 elsewhere

She looks like if I asked her to add the change in her pocket, she would have trouble...

Nice, Vicodin is always good, hopefully they give you the strong stuff. Mmm pain meds sound fuckin yummy right now.

>Saved a seven
>Work with 8/9s
>Get a 3 preggo

Holy shit my sides

OP delivered today

Lmfao, all these faggots hating OP for having his life together

>b-.. but having a kid th-.. that young you miss out!

>y-... your girlfriend is ugly d-.. dude I wouldn't fuck that not trying to be mean he-...

Fucking faggots

go back to Saudi Arabia you mudslime scum

>not a beta
>almost fucking died for a random girl

Nothing in the world is more valuable than your life. Stupid fucking thing to risk it over. Her gratitude will fade quickly. Don't be surprised if you get a "thanks for saving me, but I have a boyfriend."

great going dude

Thanks bro. If you're in Illinois I'll buy you a beer

Nice try. I know faces mate. These are different people. I can recognize people from a side glance even after a decade.

cool story bro, but I can't even read it when your big-ass hot-air-filled head is blocking the screen

Yeah. She fine. Keep the kid. Who knows, maybe he'll find a cure for autism, although it probably involves getting rid of tumblr and Sup Forums.

They don't give pain killers to cancer patients, let alone a cut like that.

That's the war on drugs for ya.

You stupid little shit. If you have a child, it's your responsibility to not risk your fucking life for a stranger.

Umm no he didn't ... Not one timestamp or proof any of this happened.. he's just a kisses faggot

For fucks sake did you see the ugly ass bitch he got pregnant? And he talks about 7-9s ... And then fucks THAT!
Whole story fake and gay

Saving a random girl isn't EXCATLY the same as having your life together. Anyone over 200 pounds can do whatever OP did, and still live in their ma's basement.

Someone's full of shit here.

This. I'm out. nice bait for a minute faggot op.

Did you not see his other posts?

fuck off idiot, the girls looks great, she is beautiful, if you think otherwise why dont you post your bitch, and dont post your dog or your right hand faggot

Haha OP look at all these butthurt bitches in this thread. Everyone is jealous. Look at my captcha btw

As much as I want to slam all of your heads through a glass window who think I'm full of shit, thinks she's ugly, or whatnot. Instead I'm gonna feed my cat and watch some Netflix. Thanks to all who support me. Night Sup Forums

Spiderman Thread?

godspeed OP, thanks

They gave me percs when they did a pretty painless bone transplant (the only thing that hurt was the day after, cuz of the trauma from incision) 30 day supply. 5mg a pop. Not sure what hick anti-drug town you live in.

You should have been aborted you genetic mistake.

Spiderman thread.