Has anyone close to you died of suicide? family member, friend, partner, someone you knew? How did it affect you...

Has anyone close to you died of suicide? family member, friend, partner, someone you knew? How did it affect you? Share your stories.

friend of our family killed himself about 7 or 8 years go. was a policeman who couldnt take it anymore. didnt really affect me that much although i liked the guy. his wife was also a teacher at my school, she got really depressed and didnt come to work for atleast 1 full term. had a cute daughter aswell, ahvent heard from them in forever, gotta give them a call some time...thanks for reminding me i guess

2 classmates and a friend. The friend hung himself in a local park, was found by someone walking his dog the next morning. I don't know man, it's too fucked up to rationalize about.

One of my best friends blew his brains out and only left a single note that said "I just want to sleep" no other explanation. Messed me up pretty bad, the guy was like a little brother to me.

An ex, whom after became just a friend. Found out because i decided to hit her up on Facebook one day. Seen it was turned into a memorial page. Asked her best friend and ahe told me she apparently blew her brains out. We were close. She was in my dreams last night. Kinda fucked me up a bit after i woke. Heard her voice so clear.

Holy shit faggot, if you want to start a good thread post YOUR experiences, if you have none post your reasoning in asking for this thread. You are a newfag, and anyone who answered this is also a newfag.

My mom killed herself. I was extremely happy because she was a RAGING BITCH who ruined my childhood and always forced me to do things I never wanted to do. (Not talking about chores ect. Like forcing me to play sports such as football knowing I would only get fucked up)

alright now back to bed fatass

Some chick at my school killed her self in 8th grade because EVERYONE made fun of her. Like E V E R Y O N E.. Older kids, younger kids, teachers, and even other parents. Hung, cut wrists, or od on pills i don't remember what happened exactly.

>Like forcing me to play sports such as football knowing I would only get fucked up)

Sounds like she didnt want to raise a little fag and forced you into doing an activity that required you to be active, social, and be around other strong males.

You turned out to be a basement dwelling, anime loving fairy didnt you?

About the response I expected. You are why Sup Forums is dying. There used to be a posting standard and without it NOBODY responded.

Sup Forums is dying.

Yeah till the football couch molested me and my mom didn't belive me cause i never wanted to play in the first place faggot.

>Was sixteen
>Outside cutting grass in back yard
>watched neighbor (probably in his late 50's) walk back to storage shed in his back yard. Shuffling, looking down at ground
>thought to myself, "I should speak to him"
>introvert self said nah, human interaction is a pita
>a few hours later chilling in kitchen
>mom and others come running in house, telling me to call emergency services
>I didn't know what had happened, confused as fuck, just begged for them to bring someone
>neighbor had hung himself
>had to pull his son off of him so the EMTs and medical examiner could investigate

Makes me feel guilty to this day (45 now). If I had stopped and spoken to him, would he have maybe reconsidered? I don't know. I really wasn't that close to him, his wife and my mom were close but he never said much to me. Found out he had cancer. Sad part is it was entirely treatable. He just had it in his head he was fucked.

A guy I smoked with in high school killed himself with a shotgun in a laundry mat. I never found out why. He went into a 24 hour laundry mat, took out a shotgun, sat down on a table, gave the security camera the finger, and shot himself under the chin. I hadn't heard from him in probably 15 years at that point but we live in a small town and it was all over the news. I felt bad for him. He was a cool guy back when I knew him. Just cant really imagine anything being THAT bad in life

Nope, so far I am doing great for myself.

>6 years in military
>2 college degrees
>Pilots license
>drives fancy sports car
>ended up with beautiful fiance
>great work life balance

THAT guy, should be mourned.
Short, simple, straight to the point.
>We lost a hero that day.

2 of my best freinds revently an hero. Pistol to the chest.

Its life ruining and my year long bender put me in the hospital and jail.

Its the closest thing i could describe to hell.

What do u wanna know?

Sorry man. Most rescently friend an hero is one of my best friend's kids. Was 19. Finished high school and wasgonna graduate in a few days. Truck broje down, i pulled him home, he went and shot himself...

Meant to say he was like a little brother. I know how it feels man.

Class of 04. Defiantly not a newfag. Maybe i fell for b8 but nobody else seems to care. May as well see if i can help anyone here or take something positive away..

Sucks man. I dont know if tslking helps. Both of my good friebds hung out and then immediately went and an hero. The cross picture was a favorite lookout spit.

1.5 years latter i still maintain it bit i cant even visit his grave. He isnt there anyway he creamated at his moms i think mayne but in any case i just cant...

Hopefully u never do user. Depression and anxiety is a bitch mutherfucker.

Cherish your happimess and dont take it for granite ever user.

I've lost like 5 close people in my life
All to suicide, but I don't really know what it's like for someone to die from an illness an accident or just old age
It's my only frame of reference for death of people close to me and I think it's pretty okay to choose
It sucks and I don't wanna choose it but they did and others will too and that's ok
I'm just gonna miss them

Keep her in the clouds user. It is good to hear one of us made it

...and thank yiu for yiur service assuming u hail from america

Honestly though it definitely helped shape me cause I'm pretty into being vulnerable, sharing pain and emotional intimacy and thinking about how death is super permanent and makes meaningful moments possible

That's a nice note, it's really nice. Even in death, he took the burden others, or himself imposed on him.

Uncle when I ws about 11. He lived with us for a while and introduced me to video games and chess. I never knew at the time but he was pretty fucked up and trying to get his life together. He was a good friend and mentor.

It was aways my goal to beat him at chess. Closest I got was a stalemate, and only once.

Thanks, man. Yeah, usually when they've made the decision to suicide it's over and done with and no amount of talking will make a difference. The worst part is they usually perk up because they know there's going to be an end to suffering soon. So the ones that are left behind are even more confused.

Sorry about your friends. That seems like a cool spot to chill and just talk about life. Maybe a day will come where you can visit the grave. Just do it in your own time when and if you are ready. I'm not a believer but still go to my dad's grave from time to time. It can be cathartic.

Sorry about your uncle. Sounds like a /bro.

There was an Asian kid in middle school that committed suicide. He was in a different grade than me, I heard he wasn't popular but was pretty nice. His last facebook post was "I love Jesus." I'm not making this up.

I will! Thankyou. I am about to move onto my next adventure of Aviation Management.

I don't know anything about you, but I can probably help you make it too.

Air Traffic Controllers (ATC) only need 2 years of education and some community colleges carry it as a major. So about 8-10k later (total cost of 2 years without any help from FASFA) you will have a career that's AVG salary is $123,000 a year. I can most likely assist you. There are many different types of airports and some even have part time towers where it feels more like a 9-5 job at a low use airport. Can be a life changing opportunity for you user. I hope u find what makes you happy :-)

Thanks man. I haven't thought about him in a while and doing so now is giving me the feels. But I'm at work right now so gotta kee that face up. I appreciate the thread though bud. People gotta talk about this stuff.

My uncle when I was a kid and my cousin 2 years ago..apparently uncle he gassed himself in a car and went peacefully, the cousin odd on the prescription meds, he was mildly addicted to. His cheating wife still showed at the funeral even though she knew it was her fault, some even say she knew it was happening as she was home and says she didnt hear anything..

I really like your open mind to it, despite your losses.

people that say it's selfish, are the really selfish ones, unable to comprehend what it's like to be that lost.

user, the most you could have done is delay it for a day or two. Don't beat yourself up over it. If you said "hello" and started a full conversation it would only have made him hide from you when he did it.

Actual help only comes from people who have known the individual for a while.

People who see it and can prevent it from happening. As sad as it may seem, user, a friendly gesture does go a long way, however they will just find a quiet time at night to .... you know.

Unless you are/would be willing to devote many hours/day to talking to him, eating with him, working on cars or whatever, AND *KNOW* beforehand that there is an issue, it was going to happen.

It is *NOT* your fault. If you had been friends with him for a few years or even a couple of months, perhaps. Just a neighbor that you didn't yet know though. He took his life before you could become friends. That is NOT your fault user.

His decision should have been see by his friends, his loved ones(I don't know his situation), his family.

Unless you were a part of his circle, you are NOT AT ALL AT FAULT.

you probably deserved it though

I knew a girl.

My mother had this friend who was in the caskets and funeral services industry, she was a piece of crap.

Her job was going to hospitals looking for people crying to try and sell them funeral services when they were sad.

Anyways she had a 14 year old girl, and was divorced, she used to mistreat the girl, hit her, and make her do all the house work.

I used to talk to her on AIM at the time, I was 17, she was severely depressed, I wasn't really interested in her that much, because she wasn't pretty, she had a nice bod though.

Eventually she was sad all the time, talking about how she would end it all, and I was not a good person to talk to, since I didn't think she would do it, I had met a bunch of girls who wanted attention.

Eventually, one night her mother got home from work, and found her hanging from the ceiling.

Sometimes her mother still tells the story in gatherings, but changes a couple of things about it, saying stuff like the hardest funerary service she ever attended was this one of a girl that hanged herself.

SHe's a piece of crap still, got herself a piece of crap white trash boyfriend.

Yeah, 5 years ago I killed myself...

You deserved it. Your poor mom, what a winner you turned out to be.

When I was 17 my best friend called me at 2:37 AM on January 15th. In the middle of what seemed like a normal conversation I heard the shot. I carried his coffin a few days later on my birthday. I get blackout drunk and listen to his favorite band every year on my birthday now.

I don't think it's selfish at all
People who can't let go are selfish
Idk
tell me your thoughts on death, user
Why do some people seem like they're pretending when they're mourning?

Cousin on my fathers side

>unpleasant guy
>bad attitude about everything
>so entitled it made me angry
>refused to work
>no friends, virgin (he admitted it many times)
>would slip between depression and anger
>tried to help him out on multiple occasions
>i got taken advantage of every time
>guy permanently smelled like BO

got news he killed himself a few years ago

my parents weren't invited to the funeral, we're not even sure there was one from the way things sound

i'm so conflicted about how to feel about it
i saw so much of my young self in the dude, but you have to want to help yourself

lol
nerd

I had a very close friend hang himself almost two years ago.
Was the most out going guy at the party and super humble, when I got the news I felt a tingling numbness and called his cell and his mom answered.
Hurts just typing this, hung out with him earlier that day and I wish I knew or he had told me

Yes
Disbelief that someone would choose that over proactively trying to improve their situation

>chilling after work with GF, eating takeout, watching TV
>phone rings, person asks if GF there, hand her the phone
>she confirms who she is, listens for a bit
>drops phone and starts screaming, screaming, screaming - won't talk to me
>I grab the phone, "WTF?!?"
>"This is _____ County coroner's office, we regret to say that _____'s mom committed suicide earlier today"
>GF is still sobbing, screaming
>Neighbors pounding away on apartment door, thinking someone is being murdered inside
>NYPD shows up, drags me out in cuffs, go and talk to GF to see if I hadn't been beating on her
>she tells them, starts wailing again, I get unhooked, they leave
>spend next 12 hours with GF crying, screaming into pillow

Her mom took a pillow, blanket and bottle of vodka into her garage, started the car, and went out that way.

Years later, GF (now wife) still gets upset every so often

>hung out with him earlier that day
you made him do it

why? life is shit, regardless of how much you try to improve anything.
even if successful you're only building yourself upto fall farther anyway

That's messed up bro.
What drove her over the edge?

Much love to all anons, life is beautiful and it can always be better, death is permanent and it won't get you rest, just nothingness.

If you know someone that shows signs of it, get help, even when we say we want to die, living happy is always better

> Mother gassed herself
> Cousin hung himself
> Classmate from college and later colleague jumped in front of the train, i took over the work that needs to be finished

Everybody dies.

They just got tired a bit sooner than me. I am myself far too curious about the ending of this utterly meaningless world and stories I became a part of to get that tired.

You really need to try to push out the cynicism.
The negativity is toxic to you. It's gonna wreck your quality of life bro.
It's gonna take some effort but mainly don't give some snap response, just stop and internalize it.

Right on. Yeah it sucks but im trying.

I descided to an hero a month ago the shrinks called me back so i figured i would try that first.

Its fucked i just broke. I didnt even really car who found me and to think i came that close to painting out house with my brains and not even care i knew something needed done.

I still suffer every day but who knows. I get new meds this week probably.

While reading this thread, a guy handed me this. Receipt for time stamp.

Damn. Well, i dispatched so i imagine its similar. I run heavy equioment and god willing will work here till i die. I will keep that advice in mind tho. Thats cheap for a 6 figure job and 3 times what i make...

Nah. I was pissed too until i was suicidal. It hurts but unless you are depressed u cant understand it. Its not too anyone its for them. Finally getting 6 seconds of peace while u bleed out is better sounding than winning the lottery.

>why?
Because it's better than being in a hole in the ground, tomorrow is always another day,, good or bad.

Hope the meds work out for you. I've been able to wean myself off wellbutrin and I'm holding up good supplementing iron (I'm the one rare dude that's anemic) and ashwaghanda which seems to help with anxiety. Meditation and talk therapy has helped tremendously, too.

Sorry user.

Fun story. My best friend and i were gonna beat a shitty old boss i had. Always talked shit on thos guy and my best friend would laugh and joke like i cant wait till u find this mutherfucker. Never even said his name because her wouldnt know who it was anyway.

The day i burry my best friend i see this cocksucker.

WTF M8! Brush past 2 people and bros grab me and with a stern headshake i remembered not the time or place.

Spend the funeral real upset and confused but grateful. Finally get to beat this faggot.

Faggot was my best friends dad.

For years id accidently talked my buddy into wanting to dickpunch his father.

Utterly hilarius.

What are those odds like 1 in 3.5 billion?

Pretentious little shit.

A classmate from high school killed himself by jumping off of a building. We weren't great friends so i wasnt really torn up over it, but still depressing to think about. He was the class clown, the guy everyone knew and liked

The whole fake it till u make it thing i reckon. I feel like a peice of shit and want to die.

Bit every morning i grab jeans woth holes in them, work boots, and a stained up shirt and head to work overtime every fucking week...

My wife. I woke up one morning and found her collapsed on the floor of her home office. A year and 2 months later now. I'm an emotional wreck.

Isnt that fucked... my best friend was the life of the party. 24/7 no matter what he just wanted everyone to laugh.

He had this thing the last few years where hed find shitty laughy taffy jokes that were clean and be so animated telling them you couldnt help but laugh. And he would sit there all fucking night harassing you until it was funny if not.

Still so confused man. We drank beer that night. He was supposed to teach me to run my new smoker. Amd at 21 he never went home..

Only one I can think of was this feminine acting guy with bleached blonde hair. He was married to this fat ugly girl. Everybody thought he was gay. He blew his brains out a few months after I met him. Guess he was gay.

Sometimes there is nothing left to try. Im beyond fucking exhausted and tired 24/7. Can hardly function. Life aucks

Dick...

What about living in pain. Nothingness dont sound bad.

Sorry to hear it bro. Story?

Well good. I didnt think my celexa worked until i wuit for a few days and woke up in the ambulance.

Always wondered wtf that felt like.

Its not good anons

Fucking always is.

Now anytime i see an oitgoing friend everyone loves im terrified of losing them

Fuck that sucks user.

I hope it gets better for u man.

Schedule your sleep better, so you're not overtired all the time. Do something to wear you out during the day, like walking, gym or cycling and eat better.
Chronic Depressive since age 13, I fucking love life, I Mountain Bike hiking trails, lift weight and own a fucking Dirtbike. A Dirtbike man. If you can't fucking grin when you're on the throttle of a 450 with a licence plate, and backpack of camping gear, I don't know what will.

She struggled with depression for her whole life. Abused as a child. She used helium.

this.

I've been living with chronic pain for nearly 40% of my life. I even dream that I have pain.

So goddamn fucking tired living like this and the thought of my future life of pain is intolerable at times.

I hope you get shot down and become a P.OW. while your wife is back home fucking niggers you good little watchdog, you.

My cousin. Self inflicted GSW to the head. He survived for a few hours.

Been out of the military for awhile lol. Plus, I was not a pilot, I achieved that on my own for myself on the civilian side. but nice b8 m8 haha :-) hope u find happiness one day!

Your coach probably sensed your willingness to take the D.

Still your mom fault for not beating the gay out of you!

Sucks man. I just trust that people say it gets better and they arent all lying faggots. It better.

Its all i fucking have to hold onto.

Didn't this guy force Garfunkle and Oates to watch him jack off in a hotel room at a comedy festival?

Several co workers did when I was a janitor for a school district. If I didn't find another job I probably would have been next. A cousin also killed herself and another male cousin attempted. It fucked me up. I'm in therapy though so I'm being monitored for signs I might try to hurt myself again

Good advise and im trying all of that. Pic related was last time i had a bike and i got hurt a lot as a kid so roll cage please.

Cant do anything during the day and can hardly walk. The loader oddly enough beats me to death and i even have sleeping pills but just dont sleep for shit. It really sucks

Life is fucking shit man suicide is the way out, either get out now or die of arse cancer at 70 and watch your kids see you waste away

2 uncles

Mom's brother blew his brains out like 6 years ago and a step uncle ran a hose from his car's exhaust into the car and died that way.

Step uncle died in the 90's

Best friend killed himself a month ago, in our forest where we usually hung out.

I miss him.

I knew a kid in high school, his nickname was Houvir. He was super intelligent and could read people like a children's book. He kinda kept his distance from most people and would develop odd friendships with random people for no particular reason. He could gain your respect and become someone you would listen to and get advice from within a week or two.


He drove two people to commit suicide by taking advantage the instant they fucked up socially and the whole school came down on top of them. One guy hit on an ultra feminist girl who told everybody he sexually harassed her, practically all his friends turned on him, and in his moment of weakness Houvir caught him alone and after their conversation, went home and hung himself. I'll never forget Houvir's smile when he heard the news.


The second one was worse. This dude Trevor was a douche in general but hated Houvir, he'd always try to shit on him and Houvir would own him twice as bad. Trevor tried to photoshop Houvir's face onto gay porn to try to embarrass him somehow. Houvir sent him a screenshot of Trevor's actual web history that included real gay porn side by side with a screenshot of some music Trevor had posted on facebook earlier so you could see they came from exactly the same phone with the same wallpaper and all that. No one knew how he got the screenshot, the time of which was like a couple minutes before it was posted. Like it had just been taken.

Trev freaked out and deleted his facebook. Then he tried to fight Houvir. Every punch was smacked down like he was a bitch, it was embarrassing. Then Trevor started harassing some girl he liked and hated that she was friendly with the Houvester. I mean like blowing up her phone with rape threats and shit. Sure enough everyone came down on top of him, and I saw Houvir talking to Trevor the day before he killed himself. I'm 100% confident Houvir drove him over the edge.

I have no idea where he is now. Hope he's dead too though

My dad died on my 13th birthday. He wasn't able to come see me because his truck was broken down and he was at another place (my parents had a slight divorce scare but they decided they needed some space for a while instead of just splitting.) My mom told me he was drunk and "messing with a gun" but now that I'm older and have depression myself, I'm starting to think she lied to me to make it hurt less.
My dad was my best friend and a teacher of sorts as well as the daddest dad I knew, I still feel like a huge chunk of my soul is just gone. The night he died, I had a dream he came back so it was like losing him again when I woke up; I still dream about him often.
I didn't even cry like everyone else did when we got the news, I just stared quietly at the ceiling with tears pouring out, I was fucking broken and didn't go to school for a month.
I still have his guitar in my room, he used to play songs like the Power Rangers theme for me with it. I swear I once when I was crying over him one night I heard one of the strings pluck.
God I fucking miss him so much. He's the reason why I appreciate every good dad and despise every shit dad.

Jam out the theme for him

I'll have to learn how to play first, wish I would've gotten him to teach me. He said he learned by ear and just practice though, and lots of Pink Floyd, so there's hope for me

what branch?

Jokes on u faggot ibhad that problem sorted with a snipsnip

Shit, my dad didnt an hero but after he died a bunch of weird shit happened. He was at work and was telling coworkers that his chest felt weird, he finished his shift, clocked out, walked to the parking lot, got in his car, started it and died right then, that was in Dec 2015.

Anyway that night after the coroner came and told us, I was putting away the shit the coroner brought, like his wallet, car keys etc and I went into a room to put his stuff and when I flipped on the light the lightbulb blew out, like someone shot it with a bb gun, glass everywhere. Then later the next day my sister and her family showed up and me and my brother in law were gonna go somewhere and on the driver side of his car there was a little sparrow just chilling there on the ground, he showed me and wiggled his foot to get it to move but it just chilled there, so I grabbed it up and took it in the house. Then, the day of his service me and my brother were about to get in the car and on the passenger side (my side) there were two balloons wedged underneath the car, a purple one, and a white one. We took a pic of them in the house then at the cemetery, there were purple flags everywhere...

that was really heavy to read, I could feel your feelings. Your father loves you and watches over you. I bet he is the proudest father.

Sucks user. I am sorry for u. Pretty much same here man. It really sucks

what kind of licence do you have?

>it gets better

I won't disagree - overwhelming majority of the time it does get better.

Personally, I've been considering it for almost a year now. It's the most selfish act one can do, and should never be on a whim. Sleep on it

I've used this as an example:
Remember one time that you had the flu and was sick as a dog. At the time, you feel like you're never going to feel better - that you've always felt like shit and will fell terrible for the rest of your life.

Then, a couple of weeks later, you can't remember how bad you felt just a short while ago. Things change.

thank you user ;u;
Some odd stuff happened with my dad too, even with a bird.
I was born on a Friday the 13th, and he died when I was turning 13 on a Friday the 13th (it's always been a super lucky AND super unlucky number for me). Just a few days before he passed, a waterbird, called an anhinga I think, flew over near us with some netting holding its beak shut. My dad got the netting off but the bird never ate anything after that and animal control never showed up after we called, and the poor thing died. I told my ex about the bird and he told me it was a bad omen in ancient Egypt when a waterbird died... I'm not usually for superstitious stuff but that shit's freaky.

Close? Closest one I can remeber is a guy from internet. Used to visit one site, had a great time with this guy, a lot to tell, a lot of things to remember. But when I got off for 2 months he killed himself. I really didn`t know what to think about it. I had my share of problems and suicide visited my mind too and thinking about it what could I possibly say to prevent it? Could I? What he had on his mind? But it happened and I didn`t feel guilty. His death didn`t change anything in my life, just left confused. It was just a thing, that happens in life and I thought might happen with me as well, but I hadn`t nuff guts to really try it out. I guess same reasons brought us to the same question - end it? But what made him to do so? When u feel like u can`t take it anymore? Maybe there is something else about it, something I don`t have in myself. So it feels like he just chose different direction and I just left here wondering, what it was all about. And I stopped caring about it, untill u made this thread