I need to overwrite my DNA so I may never have to shave the hair of my ass again Sup Forums, how do?

I need to overwrite my DNA so I may never have to shave the hair of my ass again Sup Forums, how do?

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laser surgery

changing your DNA would stop any kids you have from having to shave their ass hair as they wouldn't have any sorry m8

what's the best way to remove ass hair? shaving or hair removal cream

But is expensive and tedious.

>extract baboon plasmids
>inject that shit

Shaving is tedious, but hair removal cream burns like hell but is an efficient worker. I'd say cream

There is a site called the-odin (add the usual prefix and suffix) which has what you need. Home genetic DIY kits. You too can harness the power of CRISPR, etc.
The tricky part is going to be figuring out exactly which genetic snippets are specifically responsible for rectal hair growth. Unless you don't want hair anywhere, and then it's real easy. Anyway, you can get a complete kit for under a grand, make yourself look like Lex Luthor and then start working on designing the apocalypse. Good luck and Godspeed, sir.

are there any brands you'd recommend

Go for a dip in this pool.

I recommend fire. Seriously, get a propane torch and set it on "big billowy flame" (not "tightly focused cutting torch"!!!!)
Then just waft it quickly over the area in question. Go a couple passes if you need to. The hairs will singe right off, and your skin will be fine (if it even starts to feel hot, you are going to slow!)

Never put cream in your crack again, sir - at least not THAT kind of cream. You filthy animal!

>go for ass hair removal
>receive pic related

Whenever it becomes a thing, don't be the first guy to get it. Give it a few. Make sure it's more science than art

Check this shit out I've been using Nad's and it leaves you smooootthh. Just make sure if you do buy it, apply it no more than 4 min. or chemical burns will fuck your privates.

amazon.com/dp/B003JFJF5E/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_LOdzzbA3SD40A

You have the power to edit DNA on the fly and you're using it to make your anus hairless? You could be curing cancer!

Genetic manipulation doesn't work like that yet OP.

Hope you like cancer cause thats probably literally what you'll end up with

m.youtube.com/watch?v=-lPUTzLZxck

No.

how long does it usually take for the hairs to start growing back

lasers, hair gone forever

If you use the cream, there will be no bumps, correct?

At the 2 week mark I see minimal hair growth, and I'm a fairly hairy dude. So a bottle will last you

No razor bumps

If you use the cream, there COULD be bumps, cracks, rashy splotches - that shit will burn your shit far worse that the actual fire. Trust me on this.

Oh shit, sorry I meant rash. Will it leave any sort of rash or burn on this skin?

But I don't want to cure cancer. I want my anus to be smooth!

thanks

Actually, it kind of does work that way. We just don't know what all of the cool sequences do yet (i.e. this set of genes code for blue eyes, that set codes for male pattern baldness, etc.) But we know a shit ton of them, and are learning new ones every day.

Mostly by people trying to figure out crazy shit like how to make their asses hairless. Probably a lot of the ones we do know, are because someone was looking for a way to grow out their micropenis and happened to notice that all of the mice went blind, which led to "cool, there's the cluster of eyeball genes, now what does this lever do..." - and now we can cure colorblindness. Actually cure it, in adults.

My skin is rather sensitive so this isn't looking good for me

...

Rash could be caused by having an allergic reaction to the chemicals in the cream, so that is something you'll have to do a test for. Or check the ingredients, if you know what gives you rashes in the first place. But I have had no issues with rashes with my cream.

For chemical burns, the bottle usually states to "Leave on for 4 minutes" and that is serious shit. Leave it on longer than what the bottle is intended for and your ass will be chemically burned so simply follow the bottles orders and you'll be a-okay.

Try the fire thing on your arm. If it doesn't work, you can get a full refund on this advice.

You don't believe me but it's like fucking magic.

No problem-o