I have to completely exhale to tie my shoes

I have to completely exhale to tie my shoes.
I guess it's time.

So, how do I lose weight?

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en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-intensity_interval_training
nerdfitness.com/blog/a-beginners-guide-to-intermittent-fasting/
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Starve yourself, landwhale. Straight up have lost over 100 pounds myself by extreme calorie restriction.

Eat little, exercise often.

>Download a calorie counter (I use 'my fitness pal')
>input weight
>input amount wanting to loose per week (500 kcal per day roughly equals 1lb per week)
>eat only recommend amount of calories per day for your weight
>lift to maintain muscle

All diets are calories in < calories out in the end

How many calories a day? Aren't you only loosing muscle?

Eat less move more

>calories in vs calories out. Fucking learn it.

That's all there really is too it. Learn to replace unhealthy foods/undesirables with better choices.
(Eg: replacing butter on a bun with so etching like franks red hot. Or exchanging regular yogurt with Greek/low fat yogurts.)

Losing weight is 70% diet, 20% exercise and 10% sheer fucking willpower.

>starve yourself

Dumbass idea, don't listen to the mentally handicapped.

>implying /fit/ isn't a meme

couch to 5k, walk on days you don't run. Once you can run a 5k without having a heart attack, do it every day. ~30-45 minutes, hardly much of a commitment to not be a lard ass.

Side benefit is you have 30-45 minutes a day to reflect on the shit you put in your mouth that puts the weight on your body that makes that 30-45 minutes harder than it should be.

It's actually a lot easier than you'd think.

First, it's time to cut sodas and sugary drinks from your diet completely.

From now on, you drink water, black coffee, or unsweet tea.

Next, you need to consume a low carb, reduced calorie diet. Tracking macros (protein, fat, carbs) is less important. Just remember you want Protein > fats > carbs. Eat chicken, fish, every vegetable you can stand, and stay away from white rice, bread, cereal, etc.

To reduce your calorie intake, it takes some management, but I would recommend My Fitness Pal. It's a free app that gives you the tools to log every meal, its calories, and its macros. It takes 5 minutes, but like most people you're on your phone at meal time anyway. This app is great because you put in your current weight, then your goal weight, and it will tell you "You need to eat X calories a day to lose Y pounds a week." If you stay vigilant you WILL lose weight.

As for exercise, you need to do something of moderate intensity for 30-45 minutes every other day. I personally like Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. Working out on the weekend will help keep you faithful and less tempted to overeat.

Cardio, weight lifting, anything. Get up and get sweating.

Losing weight is 70% diet and 30% exercise. It's also 100% mental. There are no cheat days when losing weight. You won't eat battered and fried chicken, you eat grilled, baked, or boiled chicken. You won't eat french fries, you eat broccoli.

It's tough for the first few weeks, but it takes time to develop a good habit. Your body will constantly feel hungry, because its not used to eating healthy food. Stick with it, and you will soon find out that fast food will make you sicker than a dog, soda will make you sick to even smell it.

Once you get into a good routine and see the results, then consider joining a gym. Fat people (I was fat too) have a stigma about gyms and you should first feel comfortable with your new lifestyle.

count calories.

its literally that simple - spend more calories than you take in.

drinking alot of water helps tons.

myth, the body doesn't want to burn muscle if it doesn't need to. You will lose muscle from extreme calorie restriction but you will lose a ton more fat. Only kink is if you are diabetic, you will lose more muscle than average but still less than fat.

Of course taking a diet, with mostly sports like running, swimming....endruance training. Go for low carb products.

METH

by moving and eating less

>drink water, black coffee or unsweetened tea

I'd love to get into teas, but they taste like utter shit. Does it end up being an acquired taste? Why am I supposed to like it hot?

Protein sparing modified fast

You can google to find a PDF about it. I lost 13 pounds in 3 weeks that way. You probably need to lose more than that, but I know this works so that's my advice for ya

Dont starve yourself.
Dont take shortcuts.
Dont listen to broscience.

This is your body. Your one body. You've done enough damage to it. Do your homework, your research, build a plan, and put it into action.

You need DIET and EXERCISE.
Not 1, not the other, BOTH.

Its literally do or die. You choose.

Op here.

How: to starve myself? I try to stop eating, but after a day it's like my body just starts doing what it wants and won't listen to me.

I'm literally yelling at it to put the food down but it won't listen.

You can drink iced tea as well, which is my personal favorite. Or you don't have to drink it at all. You want 0 calorie drinks. Sodas, sports drinks, etc have TONS of sugar that will spike your insulin and cause food cravings.

And to go into diet a bit more:

Carbs break down into your body as sugar. Alcohol break down as sugar. You want to stay away from simple or refined carbs because again, they will spike your insulin.

You being fat (I was fat too and learned all this the hard way) you are probably pre-diabetic or have type 2 diabetes already.

Cutting these out will return your insulin levels to normal. Eating green veggies have lots of fiber, this helps you poop (I remember pooping would always hurt and was messy, with lots of fiber, pooping is quick and actually enjoyable) and will keep you feeling full throughout the day.

Your largest caloric intake will be from animal proteins. Chicken and fish are your go-to. Red meats and pork are good too on occasion. If you are going to "cheat" use these as a reward. Remember to always stay equal to or below your daily calorie limit. Protein will help your body rebuild from your exercise.

Fats come naturally with animal proteins and are secondary. Fat is also the most calorie-dense of the three macros. You will get this from cooking oils (do not pan fry or deep fry anything. This should be olive oils, dressings.) Again, do not actively seek these out, you will get enough fats from consuming animal proteins.

>Yeah, but I'm not gay.

I can't run. It's physically impossible. My knees would blow out after 50 yards.

>First, it's time to cut sodas and sugary drinks from your diet completely.
How? Where do you get the willpower to do that?

>Next, you need to consume a low carb, reduced calorie diet.
How? Where do you get the willpower to do that?

Like literally anyone else, you just do it.

Yeah, but HOW?

then run 50 yards and crawl back home then run 50 more the next day you lazy fat fuck. Or just go inhale some more cheeseburgers and keep ruining your body you shit.

HIIT & IF

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-intensity_interval_training

nerdfitness.com/blog/a-beginners-guide-to-intermittent-fasting/

medfag, reporting in.
If you're that fat, then you need to ignore everyone in this thread and listen to me.
Ignore your diet. Seriously. Just keep eating the way you've been eating.

What you need to do is walk 2 miles a day, twice a day. Walk 2 miles in the morning and 2 hours at night.
Do this for 3 months. Eventually, as you do this, you will start to subconsciously realize that the calories you're eating are undermining the effort you're putting into your walks. You'll see the weight you're carrying as a nuisance.

THAT is where your motivation to put down the sodas will come from. Just go for a slow, 2 mile walk. Right now.

k

That would have been useful info. I assumed you exhaled to tie your shoes with your feet in front of you, not completely exhaled just to reach your foot at all...

is more your pace then. Same sentiment though, commit to the exercise and your eating will change because you'll feel that cheeseburger and pizza during your walk/run and it makes you feel like garbage and you slowly realize what you have to do to not feel like garbage. When you can though, keep pushing once the walking becomes easy. C25k program starts only with jog for 1 minute and then walk, and cycle that 5 times. It takes you from there to jogging a 5k, Repeat weeks if you need to but literally, every day, go out and do you walk/run. It's summer now so I go out just after dark, nice and private.

this is very good advice

eat smart, salmon, chicken breast and other low cal food

Stop eating carbs. Wheat bread has a higher glycemic index than table sugar.

After you eat carbs your blood sugar goes up. The body pumps out insulin to prevent the body from burning fat until the blood sugar is lowered. This is fine and normal but we eat so many carbs and so often our bodies are always full of insulin and we can never burn fat.

When people make fun of the fatty snacking they're actually doing what their body is demanding. The body can't get to that fat - so it demands more carbs for energy or it would just shut down.

As this goes on year after year your body builds up a resistance to the insulin and more and more needs to be secreted. Making the problem worse and worse.

But yeah. Just stop eating carbs. You could actually lose weight eating only McDonalds if you threw away the buns (and stayed away from the fries and shakes, of course).

also if you're feeling extra motivated work out almost every day and take Tri-creatine before n after workout. Before you sleep take some BCAA and just keep this up while eating smart and soon youll stop being fat and start looking fit

Hey OP,

Ignore this calorie in/calorie out nonsense. Under that assumption, 600 calories of chocolate affects your body the same as 600 calories of vegetables. That's fucking retarded.

You need to eat a big, healthy breakfast (think fruit/oatmeal/turkey sausage) to activate your metabolism every day and snack until bedtime. Also, get moving... simple exercises at first like walking and stair-climbing. Weight-lifting is a major plus.

Fabulous advice. To expand though:

- vegetables = non starchy veggies - eliminate corn, potatoes, etc. also go easy on fruit - it's good for you, but it's also got a lot of sugar in it. NO DRIED FRUIT- i.e. Raisins, prunes, etc. you want fruit with lots of fiber and high water content ideally.

- if you can't live without something potatoey, say hello to half a sweet potato once in a while.

- the no cheat days are good advice, but also remember that one day of blowing your diet doesn't give you license to just say fuck it and start eating Oreos by the van load. If you have a bad day, think about how you can avoid making the bad decisions that made the day bad, and commit to avoiding those things in the future.

- weigh yourself daily, same time, same clothing, etc.. Do not freak out if you aren't losing weight every day, but BE MINDFUL of your current weight, and the trend - if it's not trending downward, you're in trouble and need to evaluate your trajectory to figure out what you're doing wrong.

- get yourself a food scale And measuring cups, and USE THEM RELIGIOUSLY. Nothing goes in your mouth without being aware of how much you're eating. Relax this over time, as you get to understand what normal portion sizes look like, but measure at least once a week to keep yourself honest.

By deciding that being fit and healthy and attractive is more important than the dumbass sugar rush you get from putting garbage in your body.

But if OP is looking STRICTLY for weight loss/gain advice, in vs out is all that matters. Sure, living solely of sweets is not good for the overall health of your body. That should be obvious to anyone. But energy is energy. If weight loss is the only goal/concern, then yes calorie are really all ultimately matter.

I'm mindblown by how simple this is. This is very good advice.

Two other thoughts:

- get enough sleep. Shoot for 7-8 hours every night. Being tired makes you crave sugary shit to jack your blood sugar up to simulate being awake and alert.

- drink tons of water. Half your body weight, in ounces. If you're 300 pounds, drink 150 ounces. It's a lot of water, and it'll fill you up, and you'll piss a lot, but being hydrated is important.

> topped the scales at 370, now weigh about 215.
> it took me three years to lose that weight.
> I feel better, look better, fuck better, and am a better dad to my little girl as a result. Also, my high blood pressure, high blood sugar, mild kidney damage, high cholesterol, knee and ankle pain, and chronic reflux are gone. No more medications, my numbers are those of a healthy, fit person.

no it's not. a fatass should get his shit together and do a full 100% lifestyle change and put together a diet and workout schedule

He clearly doesn't have the willpower to do that.

then he should fill a bag with nitrogen gass and pull it over his head

actually diet is way more important. not that exercise isn't, but really it's mostly about burning more calories than you take in.

Just going on a 2 mile walk will do wonders for him. I bet he drops 30 lbs in the first 2 weeks, without even changing his diet.

You gotta understand that he's carrying around his weight lifting routine with him, every where he goes. I 2 mile walk for him would be like you doing an hour of squats twice a day. He will burn a shitload of calories.

Periodic fasting will stimulate your metabolism, and reduce your calorie intake.

One easy way is to limit your eating to a 6 or 7 hour period each day. Eat lunch, one afternoon snack, and dinner, but no snacks after dinner, no breakfast, and no mid morning snack.

If you can fit in some exercise, even better.

Bullshit.

Take two fatsos and feed one 2000 calories of Snickers, M&Ms and donuts per day. Take the other and feed him 2000 calories of fruits, vegetables, lean meats and healthy fats. Are you telling me that they would lose the same exact amount of fat if they followed the exact same exercise regimen?

Sugar wreaks havoc on your hormones and tells your body to store fat rather than to burn it. Everything is about METABOLISM, not this stupid tit-for-tat calorie-counting BS. Ask any trainer worth his salt.

He won't drop that much weight in the first two weeks just from walking four miles a day. If you want to lose 15 pounds a week:

- get a tapeworm
- get aids
- starve yourself completely, and even then you'll probably be hard pressed to lose at that rate.

If you're losing more than 2 pounds a week, it should be under the close supervision of a doctor.

1-2 pounds per week is a healthy and sustainable goal, don't expect (or promise) miracles.

a workout can never replace a good diet, a diet is doing work without putting in much effort

ITT: Everyone is explaining to Op sophisticated dance techniques when it's obvious that he can barely walk.

...

He doesn't have the willpower to diet.

Best motivation is by seeing results. Once you see it working you'll be hooked. Do whatever it takes to commit 100% for 6 weeks. Tell yourself that at the end of 6 weeks you'll eat whatever you want again. Trust me, when you get there you won't want to go back. Keep in mind you might not see a lot of initial results visually in the mirror but you'll 100% feel it in your clothes.

sounds like a panzy faggot

intermittent fasting. healthy full diet, (diet meaning a complete change of food and attitude, not temporary.) lifting routine. maybe a lil cardio but not too much. don't wanna end up flabby goob goobie

I can't see my penis

This.

What we need to do is get him moving his feet. Diet can come later.

shut your whore mouth...literally.

Keto diet. Look into it.

Short version: no carbs (or no more than about 20g per day). No carbs means no grains (bread, oatmeal, pancakes, etc) and no starches (potatoes, rice, etc) and no sugars.

I like the diet because it's easy to understand and follow. Steak and fries just becomes steak and veggies. (Some veggies have relatively high carbs though, like carrots, so you'll need to look up carb content if you aren't sure. You can eat em but don't overdue it.)

Anyway, I lost 15 pounds in just over a month. Didn't feel like I was eating less either.

If you can really stick to it and avoid cheating it's a pretty easy diet to stick to.

The basis of the diet is that your body needs particular enzymes to convert fat to energy but doesn't produce those enzymes if you're getting enough carbs, which are easier to burn. So shut down the carbs and enzyme production goes up, making it easier to convert to fat burning mode, which it will do more often.

Hope you like seltzer or unsweet tea though because no sugars cuts out a lot of drinks.

THIS

Problem with this plan is it's extremely time consuming. Boring too. If I lived somewhere that made it practical I'd love to walk everywhere. Walk to the store, walk to the restaurant, walk to the bar. As it is, I'm deep in suburban hell and walking has to be intentional and just gets boring.

I just do about 15 minutes of exercise per day (sworkit app) and keto diet. Works great, far less time consuming.

Stop making this about you