Woke up

>woke up
>she is front of you begging you to fuck her

what to do?

Offer her a bowl of eggs.

Tell her to turn around and bend over. Problem solved.

Check for her hidden dick before I get stuck in

Rip off her dick and fuck her in the ass with it.

Put a bag over her head and fuck her hard

She's actually got a good body.

Fuck her with my foot, first in pussy then in mouth... Maybe a little in the asshole.
And the same time ill masturbate and cum on her face...

Kek

Get the bag! I'm going in.

marry her

>vladimir what did we tell you about that outfit

No point in wasteing perfectly good morning wood

Honestly, as long as she's actually a girl and doesn't want a relationship, I'd fuck the shit out of her.

Shit, I'd call the coppers!

Paper bag on the head

>her

KEK

I remember seeing this photo accompanied by something like a dating ad. I remember it stating she knew she was hideously ugly, would be willing to walk way behind her boyfriend so people didn't think they were together, and she would be a good girlfriend.

>I just remember the text being sad, probably in an old feels thread.

The ugly-beauty ration didn't even out between face and her body.

shes dead now, people found her vk page

thanks for that, now i feel not so good, and my baseline is total fucking depression as it is, so yeah. thanks.

Underrated post

ask him when iron maiden is going back on tour

Kick her in the jaw, it might make her look fuckable

she/it kinda reminds me of one of the bad guys from Conan The Barbarian (1982)

>Date a cute and funny girl
>She wants to have sex and you finally get to see her naked
>Her body looks like this

what do?

She is an old meme that 99,9% of people here don't even know. She made posts on how ugly she is and stuff. Like she doesn't care and just wants a man in her life. I saved that shit somewhere but too lazy to look for it. Google would be faster anyway.

Fuck her and feed her candy so she gains like 10 punds to cover her Auschwitz-Gains.

An hero.

bag full of McDonald cheeseburgers would probably be faster

...

I'd shove it up the ass any day of the week

shot her with a bow

give her some painful anal, bet her face looks cute in pain

There it is, thanks for finding it. Still just as depressing as before. Some people get hit with the ugly stick, her face took the full impact of an ugly tree.

Face down, ass up!
(but ask her to spit first, I'm tender.)

>She
Nice try OP

Jesus fucking Christ. I did get a slight cock twitch though which is disturbing.
Couldn't face it if she has a big hairy minge though

>She
Good try OP.

I've always wanted to try out a really really skinny girl. Like, bordering on anorexia type of skinny. That way I've fucked both ends of the spectrum.

I believe this is fake actually. This is just some girl in russia and Sup Forums came up with a story about her as usual.

>offer

first i would make eye contact with the forest troll
i'll check her out head to toe
then i grab her by her bony hips, and drop her on the bed
my rock hard morning wood slides against her thrift shop jeans
i can feel her pelvis bone with my penis, she moans in my ear
i feel her unkempt hands on my bare ass (i sleep in the nudies), she spanks me
my hands grab her A cup breast though her stupid golfing t-shirt
i kiss her neck, it taste salty but i don't care
i rip off her shirt and expose those puffy lopsided sand dollars
next i slowly unbutton her jeans with my mouth while simultaneously kissing her naval
as her pants come off i reveal a FUBU thong, "there must have been a sale at marshals", i think to myself
I make soft, careless, swirls and motions with my fingers on her wet panties
her back arches, breast go up in the air. her stupid ass bowl cut hair falls back onto the pillow, revealing a huge fucking forehead
her pussy feels like she's never shaved in her life, i tear off her panties and sure enough, a massive hair diaper awaits my eager lips
i begin gently licking the walls of her baby cannon
she screams in ecstasy
using my tongue i write love poems in cursive on her ham diglet
she's going wild, she begins tearing my sheets of the bed, her pelvis drives my face like an octopus steering a race car
suddenly she cums
the walls of her pussy quiver
her pelvic contractions are so strong my face can feel the muscles in her ass hole pulse
she says "wow user, all the time i've been doing this i've never had anyone make me cum like that"
"all the time you've been doing this?", i asked
she steps off my bed and reveals a zipper underneath her armpit
she pulls it, and reveals her true self
"it's all ogre now"
he sayd and flies out the window
mfw i just got shrek'd

i would date any girl who had a decent personality but most are not able to hold a conversation and end up blaming others for everything wrong in their life

> how to greentext

buy her a hamburger and smash

Hell, why not. But don't you tell anyone!

WHAT does he think he's doing there??

Fucking sexiest story ever

You see, the problem with me is you guys have this overt, eccentric and exquisite sexual degeneracy that's a huge turn on for me.

I quit fapping to porn years ago, once I discovered Sup Forums. I fantasize about you guys to jerk off to now. Thanks for being hot little faggots, guys.

I understand it's called rimming

>Do pic related

>Then get busy

> how to greentext

> how?

Delete the system32 folder in windows

But for now you're only fucking land whales

Take your country's flag and fuck her for the fatherland

Would fuck in a heartbeat.

I don't discriminate. As long as I'm not makin babies I don't see what it matters.

Did someone say....

leaving Appalachia

I ask do you have a puss or dicko. So i know better what to do to him or her.

>her
Fucking kek

thank you Anonymous :) I will try but i dont get it do i need to delete system 32 every time i want to greentext?

ready for some succ?

Tell her to get the bag, Ill drop my shorts.

Smash why not

i wouldn't put 50$ on it being a "her", but it COULD be - right?

Bilo?!?! How you escape cage?!

You could shove it up the gary either way

No bra, you only have to do it just the once

Yes true. Humanbeings most times always have ass and mouth.

Sure, you'll suck my dick too, right?