Has Sup Forums ever been to prison? If so, where and what was it like?

Has Sup Forums ever been to prison? If so, where and what was it like?

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Im in prison right now, for real. Here is a old pic i used for a timestamp before, im just to lazy to do all that right now. Ask me anything thay wont gete fired

Yes, Britfag land, Armley

What was it like? like a fucking hotel, I loved every minute of it

What a fucking loser. You probably love watching inmates squat and spread their asscheeks for you. The highlight of your day is catching two inmates fecal packing each other so you can go home to mommies basement and pud you micropenis into Oblivion.

Kek you been to prison before and get your ass kicked by guards m8?
Post some stories.

Did a almost 5 years at the Kumla High security facility in Sweden.
It wasn't that bad but till prison..
>how our cells looked like

Yes in the Netherlands. It's a hotel here unless you're a war criminal. Doors go open at 8am. We had 8 people in a huge cell with tv's and the end of our feet. A small kitchen and fridge. Clean toilet and shower. We didn't even had to clean them. Some guy does for money and to show good behaviour. You can order whatever food u want if u have the money. Play soccer outside for 2 hours a day. Watch and talk some TV with guys in the hallway. We had Table soccer too. 2 hours you'll go to the roof and run for a bit. Smoke a cig or talk with some people. It's been a blessing for me when I had a shitty home situation. Some other prisons were different. Smaller room. 2 max in cell. It depends what you've did.

Btw we also had a gym and church. I went for the lolz because I was bored.

Nah just know your type. Now here take my feefee and lick it.

Looks comfy tbh. Some people in the US would commit crimes and deliberately get caught just to be taken care of in a facility like this because it beats homelessness. I know that's fucked up but it's true.

What did you guys do to go to prison?

Went to jail for a night for drinking, shit was lame

Guards don't beat inmate, you're not a guard kiddo, soz.

A lot. Theft, credit card fraud, tax fraud, drugs ( I sold everything), violence towards police, illegal firearm etc etc.

No I'm not a guard. I'm OP. That's just what the angry reply made me wonder is all.

Never been to a prison because I'm not a reprobate and I actually contribute positively to society.

English jails are all going smoke free

Cops found my growroom with 400 amnesia plants. I was parked outside smoking a cig. Some undercover asked me for a lighter and to step outside. I wanted to drive away but 2 police cars blocked the road.They also took my car and lots of brand clothes. It's been almost 4 years.

>implying that such people don't also sometimes go to prison

Btw I'm from the Netherlands

Shit sorry i forgot i posted here. Well what kinda story you want? Officer fucking inmate? Inmate fucking inmate? Inmate getting fucked by mop bucket? I got stories for days

Check'em

All of the above, m8, let's hear it all. Whatever's interesting. I'm sure many here would gather round to hear your tales.

twitter.com/Tkwondo_T/status/886672077310373888

haven't been to prison but have spent a few weeks in jail, shit sucks. just think of one shitty place where all the pieces of shit of society go all in one spot. it's not too bad just boring mostly. it's dirty and the food is almost unbearable. if you're not doing more than a few days in jail then dont eat the food

Sorry man im only up here for the next 30 minutes then my shift is over. Here is one

>midnight shift
>officer is making rounds on unit
The units in my prison are dorm style so you have 50 inmates per officer and they arent behind cages so they can get up and walk around anytime they like
>officer hears a noise in the laundry room
>officer calls for back up and waits ouside the room
>back up comes and they burst into the laundry room
>imate has the handle to the mop bucket up his ass and he is grinding on it like a dog does on the floor
>inmateclaims he fell on the bucket and it was stuck
>yes he was black

Drunk and high as shit scary yet exciting night in jail. Fun if you enjoy having to piss and shit in front of ppl and get your ass checked for drugs. Say goodbye to your rights and privacy lawbreaker.

Damn man, he's surrounded by guys who would presumably have been willing to give him the real thing and he's using a mop handle. Guess maybe he was just too autistic to get sex?

STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM

>female officer starts fucking a inmate
>she works day shift so its hard because all the people around
>they get another inmate to look out for them
>after they are done he tells her to suck his dick or he is snitching.
>she has no choice so she does it
>so now she has to fuck and suck 2 inmates off or she is gonna lose her job
>inmate ends up snitching on her because he wanted to get out of a ticket
>i had to spy on her from the tower and video tape her
>the inmate got 1 last blow job and the officer went to prison

i don't really care about privacy when i'm in jail. i don't expect too many nice amenities when i'm locked up. just make sure to shower with those little flip flops they give you unless you want your feet to get pregnant

One thing you gotta underatand is they dont consider fucking/gettimg fucked up the ass gay when you are locked up. We call it "gay for the stay"

Oh damn, what was her criminal charge for that?

I thought fucking was straight but getting fucked was gay and shameful?

Rape. Prisoners are wards of the state. They can not legaly consent to sex

Wow. I can't decide if I agree with that or not. I definitely think it was a well intentioned law and I get it but calling her a rapist doesn't sound at all accurate. It seems like it would vary a lot from case to case.

Nope. They dont think it counts if you are locked up. You would be supriased to know who gets it up the ass. Salad tossing is a real thing in prison. A big dude that was a blood got caught getting fucked by a he-she before lol

That's positively retarded. She was having consentual sex with one, then blackmailed into sex with another (aka raped) and the SHE is charged with rape? Sounds like something straight outta Saudi Arabia

it sounds like jails in the US are way worse than a lot of european jails quality wise. now south american and some asian jails are real bad i've heard. i mean andres brevik that norweigen guy who killed a bunch of people on that island is living in a nice cozy looking "cell" with a tv

Kek everyone's got their kinks. So he didn't lose any status with the rest of the inmates for that?

He is slowly mentally dying from isolation tho. Clean toilets and a tv won't save you

She is in a position of power. She can make his life hard if he refuses so no matter what the situation is she raped him. Females having sex with inmates are a huge security risk. Just the blackmail alone can cause her to bring weapons and drugs in to the prison because she dont wanna lose her job. But inmates snitch all the time so they always get caught

Nope. It doesnt count in prison

Read
She has power over him as a CO there for he can not consent. They tell you that when you get the job so it wasnt a suprise for her

Its also why you cant fuck anyone you are a boss of in most if not all companies in the US. If you wanna date a suborinate one of the people have to change departments or quit

Yeah but if you do this anyway you're not a rapist. That's a whole different ballgame dude.

Both people would lose thier job. Legaly he cant consent. She knew that before fucking him

Well, I get it. Ofc she could just don't hve sex. A rape charge is too harsh tho. In my country it is also illegal, but it's not considered rape. Rape carries completely different connotations. She could still have actually raped him, and in that case a rape charge would be appropiate

Read the definition of rape. Its not just holding someone down and fucking them

Thats why you arent a lawer. Legaly she did rape him. Dont matter what you think, what she did was rape, she was in a position of power

Well im going out of the tower. I will be back in an hour or so. Stay outta prison kids

Rape is non-consentual by definition. Hence consentual sex can never be rape, in the literal sense. It can have more definitions in law of course, but it would be a case of inproper use of the word rape in said law.

I'm a lawyer myself btw. I can tell you, that until recently rape in criminal law was non-consentual sex. Now any kind of sex with a minor is always rape (effectively making statutory rape a thing here).

Funny, since I am a lawyer actually. See

I think he just left but what country are you in?

Denmark. Law here is pretty different from common law-countries. It's civil law as a mix of roman law and old nordic law,

What's the old Nordic law all about?

It's mostly visible within family law, some criminal law (the fine system) and the odd centuries old principle within private law regarding gambling, borrowing things and house hold animals and contracts. Because of the close historical bonds, much of the basics of private law was made in cooperation with the other Scandinavian countries - contract law comes to mind

>Retard detected
This user is either lying about his nationality or is clinicaly retarded. Judiciaries in states that don't practice a comon law empower their judges, for better or for worse, to make judicial decisions on a case-by -case basis, thus undermining the importance of precedent while potentially improving the equitable nature of the matter being discussed

That's a nice copypasta of a text you don't understand yourself. As I, however, do, I can tell you that what it says is widely regarded as a correct statement concerning civil law systems

>and I actually contribute to society

Yeah right lol.

Nice projection nigga. You're probably right anyway though.

Do you not know that there are different laws in different parts of the world or is your reading comprehension just that bad?