She will never be your aunt May

>she will never be your aunt May

>Peter, another pair of my panties have gone missing from the laundry hamper again

PINKISH HUE

Dont do it peter

>Peter, my bedside drawer has been broken into again

>Peter, my ass is still sore

Peter, why are your pants all bunched up again

>Peter, why do you blush when I cross my legs?

Peter, my drink tastes funny.

What did she mean by this?

Is Peter blood related to Aunt May or Uncle Ben?

Uncle Ben

So it's legal

Game on.

I think I'm ready to make it official.

Marissa tomei is the girl of my dreams.

Tomei
Toe-may

She's Aunt May

it's like poe-e-tree

>swn be your.. anything
just drown me at a world record pace already

>You're a tough guy.
What did she mean by this?

dark hair dark eyes best girl

>This chick is 51 years old

thank god I hate that bitch.

Unfunny and pretentious annoying bitch.

shut your dirty mouth

...

rude

She reminds me of India Summer

Go ask Sup Forums to storytime Trouble for you one day.

Fuck yeah.

underrated keks
my wife, her son and myself, thank you.

I don't want her to be related to me. That would just make things awkward.

P.S. I hate street sign captchas.

...

buy a pass

Wait, so is may his mom?

Why it looks so much like CG?

Cus you're retarded.

kek
use legacy captcha in settings.

>She will never be your aunt Diane

In Trouble, yes but it was retconned almost immediately.

Long story short- Ben and Richard Parker, May and her friend Mary go to work at a hotel over the summer. Ben dates May and Rich dates Mary. May cheats on Ben with Rich and gets pregnant. She tries to pass off the bastard as Ben's but he is revealed to be sterile and she decides to keep the kid. Mary breaks up with Rich for cheating on her but he wants her back. May decides to run away, 'borrows' Mary's savings and runs away (she has sex with a redneck for a lift). Mary decides that she wants Rich back but needs to know if he actually loves her, so she agrees to raise May's kid as hers. Rich agrees to this and Mary and Rich get married. The boy is named Peter. Ben and May reconcile.

Go and ask around on co- someone will storytime it for you.

According to the glorious Mark Millar, acclaimed writer of Kick Ass and Kingsmen fame, May was a huge slut that fucked both Ben and Richard Parker and had Peter's ''mother'' pass the kid off as her own even-- basically May cucked everyone, and Peter was hers all along!

It's honestly one of the most uncomfortably horrible comics I've ever read, and most people (including Marvel) pretend it never happened.

Sony wanted to make a film out of this...

Holy shit I never thought I would see this get referenced ever

Fuck. It's like they took that moment from every Millar comic, the one that's meant to be cool and raunchy but only but you very much at ease, and gave it a five issue release.

I'm glad she isn't. Why the hell would I want a hot aunt? That doesn't make any fucking sense. Unless you are a piece of shit who's interested in incest. Then you should go kill yourself. Do you jerk off to your mother as well?

She obviously wants to fuck Tony, have you not seen the film?

Who should play Uncle Ben?

Uncle Ben

>Mark Millar
Everything this man makes is absolute dogshit, how Mathew Vaughn can somehow extract fun films out of them is miraculous.

...

What is some good Tomei-kino? I think the only film I've seen of hers was Crazy Stupid Love.

I really like Ledecky because she's in my league.

Forgot pic

Jesus, that reference. I'm glad somebody else has seen this shit.

>iunderstoodthatreference.gif

This is his writer, Jane Goldman.

My Cousin Vinny and The Wrestler are required viewing.

Jason Alexander, obviously.

I love fucking more than anything

My Cousin Vinny
The Wrestler

What about her?

Not only that but the MCU is based off quite a large percent of his work on Ultimates.

Hell, Civil War was his contrived delayed response to the Patriot Act.

Joe Pesci

HOLY SHIT PETER YOUR AUNT IS A GODDAMN FOX

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead

Jease louize that would be foony. Could you imagine constanza saying:
>"with great power, comes great responsibility."

No, they didn't.

Look their e-mails, they never actually talk about an Aunt May rumor, that's essentially an urban legend. And it wouldn't be based on Trouble anyway.

>it's a "Mark Millar is so retarded he mixed up the positions of Cap and Tony and had to find a way to justify it" storyline

>Not only that but the MCU is based off quite a large percent of his work on Ultimates.

No. Not at all.

>I have to pay Peter's tuition somehow

She is a beautiful woman who is good at her job.

It kinda' is.

>Avengers are a response team assembled by SHIELD
>Nick Fury is black and (more) sketchy
>Bruce Banner was trying to reproduce the Supersoldier Serum
>Hawkeye is a SHIELD agent with a wife and kids
>Thor doesn't have a secret identity and is initially assumed to be a delusional superhuman
>Captain America works for SHIELD while adjusting to modern world before finding his true purpose within the Avengers
>Black Widow is Hawkeye's SHIELD partner.
>Falcon being a military man using military gear
>The Chitauri

They borrowed the broad strokes, really.

Uh...yes it is. A lot. A fucking lot.

The entire IDEA that Marvel could make these cinematic clusterfucks comes from the "widescreen" approach Mark Millar pioneered.

But somehow capefags are the people who know least of all about real comics history

>Samuel J Fury
>super soldier arm's race
>Banner's research resulting in his becoming the Hulk being a direct result of recreating the serum
>Thor being crazy person that no one believes is Thor lifted from volume one
>literal scene where Loki visits him in his cell while invisible to everyone else in the first Thor movie is straight from Ultimates
>Triskileon SHIELD base
>Chitauri first Avengers villains
>SHIELD Hawkeye
>Hawkeye has secret family
>'grounded' Falcon
>Captain America's powerset

I'm sure there's more that I'm not even remembering.

Literally the best porn scene in history.

Fucked me up tho, now I have a fetish that I would be rid of if I had a choice.

oh well... might as well keep it in the family.

Idris Elba

Gotta' love to shocking shake-ups to the heroes' backstories that end up being hastily retconned anyway.

Remember when it was revealed Batman and Bane were half-brothers?

What's her clips4sale link?

"please make an excuse and leave so that I can get hollowed out by this tiny billionaire's robotic penis"