Sup Forums, I have a question. Am I wiping my ass wrong...

Sup Forums, I have a question. Am I wiping my ass wrong? Ever since I was young it always has taken like 20 or even 30 wipes most times to get clean until I see no or minimal shit. From what I hear most people do like five or seven if pushing it. Who is wrong? Am I somehow wiping my ass in an inefficient way, or is it actually apparently standard for most of society to go around with tons of just shit encrusted onto their ass at all times?

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I wipe then use wet paper to wipe again then wipe one more time dry. Are you new at this?

It's usually 15 odd for me apart from the rare ghost shit 2 wipes max

30 wipes ? this is anal masturbation user

>then use wet paper to wipe again

Are you dipping your toilet paper in the shitty toilet bowl water?

The image is too trippy for me.
Sorry, cannot give advice.

What is a sink

You're supposed to pinch the loaf off and wipe the ass, not keep pushing shit out while you wipe.

When I do this it leaves paper all over my ass

Do you have slenderman arms or do you physically get up and go to the sink each time you take a shit.

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No the sink. Some people spit but I'm not a savage. Are YOU new at this?

an object at the other end of the bathroom. you stand up, pants around your ankles, and waddle to the sink while shit falls out of your ass?

depends on what you eat

i eat a lot of fiber these days and the shit never gets a clean break and wiping is a bitch

eat a lot of meat and wouldn't even need to wipe.

those rare ghost shits bro.. you press out a log the size of a baby and then you're clean as a whistle.. fucking magic

People walk around with shit on their ass. I push the paper deep into my anus until it appears clean. It takes me 15-20 wipes.

Shit paper is shit paper. Use more layers and not too much water. Life was great when having baby wipes for little baby brother

I do this too.
How is shit gonna fall out of your ass if there was an initial dry wipe?

I wipe a few times, then spit or use sink for a wet wipe, then wipe draw. It's much more civilised in Japan or some other Asian countries where you always have a water jet of some sort.

What is it is next to the toilette, ehere you live afganastan?

Well my pants are off at home and the sink is right across from me. I'm done shitting so why would it fall out? You fucking your ass too much?

Hey everyone look at this guy shitting in a bathroom the size of a tennis court.

why are you wiping while you're still taking a shit

give me back my sides

Ghosts aren't that rare for me, its about a 50/50 chance I don't have to wipe at all, or I have to wipe like 15 times.

Takes me 40 times minimum. My butt bleeds and then i know im done

Everyone gets at least one in their life time. Glorious indeed.

OP Use a bidet you filthy savage.

I wipe on the average 3-7 times
3 if I've been eating well
7 if it's a lot of fast food or something

You're wiping right. You're simply eating wrong food.

You're an idiot

Same.

OP at least you're clean like us.

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what are you eating bro, i want more ghosts

I bidet and wipe to dry with one wipe. Before I bought one I'd just sit on the sink and fondle the mess out - wipe to dry.

nah i just have a tiny ass bathroom thats built like a hallway. one end has the sink, the other the toilet.

I have a similar issue. wipe wipe wipe wipe still poop. Like Andy from Parks N Rec said, its like theres a marker back there.

I don't believe you

Turnip greens, chicken sticks from bk and chickpeas. Thats it

This would be strange bait if it were bait... can't tell. This is some bait-level autism. For your dignity, I hope it is bait.

Eat more veggies and less fat.

A diet of mountain dew, Doritos and chicken tenders and little Debbie snacks will make your shit soft. It's your diet, not your technique dumbass

>this
I wipe until the paper is clean, then I wipe into my anus until that is clean.

i ghost pooop almost everytime. good very ell balanced diet, no fast food or preservatives. grow all the veggies and fruit i eat, kill majority of the meat ii eat. getonmylevelfaggots

Eat right you fucking pig. The amount of ghost shits you have will surprise you.

Yeah, one paper masterrace. The rest of the shit goes in my underwear and that can be washed at the end of the week.

Not been on b long enough?

vegan it is.

>Why not use wippies instead?

noooooooo.

Do none of you primitive fucks use the three seashells?!

Chicken is fine. Pork isn't.

One wipe masterrace... one paper? Dude, you're gonna get shit on your fingers. I get like 5-10 sheets of toilet paper, ball it up, 1-2 wipes and done.

I have cut the amount of red meat I eat by about 2/3, I eat almost no junk food, I eat/drink a lot of probiotics, I don't eat for breakfast I just have a protein drink, my lunch is light, then I eat a heavy dinner of lean meat and vegetables. I shit about once a day and its either an average shit or a ghost.

God I thought I was the only one.

Y'all mother fuckers are disgusting. You don't wipe your ass. Have you ever seen the size of your own asshole? The length of your ass crack isn't a giant hole. You shouldn't wipe at all, it just moves shit all around your ass crack. Take the toilet paper and dab into your asshole and gently massage in a small circle. Do that twice than wipe. Ittl all be gone bro. Lesson for the day. Don't wipe your fucking ass.

Such a good movie.

Beginner
youtube.com/watch?v=JofDuTmFpL8

>5-10 sheets
Poor-fag detected, I get thick toilet paper and layer it twice.

Exactly this, although I do it in less than 10 wipes.

Girlfriend thinks I'm disgusting using this method. Frankly I'm disgusted that she doesn't

I try to only shit at home. If I can't take a shower I will squat/stand on the counter over the sink and wash my ass. I suppose that's gross to people because I get shit in the sink, but no one I know fills the bowl to wash their face or anything and I always clean well. This way my ass is perfectly clean each time, no mess or itch. I am 6'5" 250lb so if I can squat on sink, so can you.

On the off chance I'm not at home I will get a wet paper towel before I go into the stall. Wipe dry as much as possible then hit it with the wet a couple times. If I absolutely couldn't do any of the above, I would probably call it a day and go hlme. Can't fucking have a dirty ass bro. Gross.

If my shit is soft I just do an enema.

This guy.

I have a hairy ass I can't do that

Please don't post that gif again. I'm trying to forget the pain.

Omfg just get a bidet like the civilised world.

This because it's sane.

this thread is shit.

I usually just put my ass in the kitchen sink and hose it off.

When I had my own apartment and would spend all my money and weed and cigs I would just hop in the shower after I was done shitting

Yes you are a terd tard.

Guys,

What you call a "Ghost shit" is actually called a "Houdini". Escapes without a trace.

A "Ghost shit" is when you take a huge dump and there's nothing in the bowl when you're done.

shave it

am i the only one who spits on the paper when going in for the fine clean?

This. I also shave my ass once a month to minimize toilet paper usage. It's hard to get clean if you have a lot of ass hair. It's like shitting through a net and then wiping one side of the net to clean it.

Shaving my ass probably reduces tp usage by 20-50%.

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I keep on wiping until there is blood seeping from my asshole. It usually takes me around 450-500 wipes

the pain of what?

ITT mostly people who feel pretty good about their primitive approach to anal hygiene

Grab a turd for a few seconds, then put it back down. Are you going to wipe your hand with paper until the paper no longer shows any color? Or are you going to wipe and then follow up with water and soap?

inb4 asscracks can have a bit of poop in them, no biggie

your body is like a temple, don't treat a part of it like a designated shitting street

wipe, then wash, then wipe dry

How? The last time I shaved my ass I only got like half of it and I cut myself. At this point im considering just finding a hair removal cream for my ass and ball.

you guys gay?

you need to wait 30 seconds after finishing before your first wipe. The anus retracts in this time, and they've actually done studies that show this reduces tp usage by >70%

i started turning on the shower head and rinsing off my ass like a bidet and then finish with a wipe

same

very lightly, don't apply any pressure

if you're using a razor hold it with only two fingers

I use baby wipes and only the surface of were my asshole is. For the dick I don't even bother since it's always dripping. Rather I let it drip a couple more times and go

I've always wondered if this was normal. Still not sure, but at least I am not alone.

I just wipe for max. 2 times and then push the toilet paper just a little bit in my asshole (about 1-2mm). This way I just have to wipe one more time to get completely clean.

3

You know those are hell on your pipes right. Toilet paper is meant to dissolve in water, wet wipes are meant to keep their form while wet and never dissolve in the water.They just accumulate in a soggy clump.

It actually takes two sessions usually. It's a lot of work, time, and awkward physically. I'm also considering switching to nair but I'm not sure how I feel about putting this stuff on my sack and crack. Fortunately, they don't use lye anymore. I know two of my friends use it. Just remember, follow the instructions to the letter.

tbh i only poop little shit like rabbit never had a "normal" shit i dont know why, I eat normally dont have trouble but i'm pretty skinny and its hard to gain weight

You idiots and your 'throwing the stuff down the toilet' is ridiculous. We just have a trashcan to collect it all up

Bad diet

I use about half a tp roll, wad it up and stick it in my ass, then slowly pull it out. By the time its all out the last pieces of paper are usually totally clean and can be reused next time.

Yeah fuck it, im just going to get a cream.

i found another person except me who does it wow

Shave your ass or use baby wipes.

Or eat more fiber

I have only ever seen this in a third world country.

That's probably easiest. Good luck

I wipe until I can get at least three fingers two knuckles deep. Sometimes I need to clean myself with some Kentucky Jelly first, but I'm finding that I need less and less of it the more I practice.