Heya Sup Forums, I'm on the verge of suicide...

Heya Sup Forums, I'm on the verge of suicide, I have been struggling with this for years but have always been too much of a pussy to go through with it, a couple of times I tried but ended up not doing anything harmful. One of those attempts ended me up in a Mental Hospital for a while (Yale-New Haven Psychiatric Hospital too be exact) and its been a couple of months since I've been out and I feel the same. People have to told me I need weed and such to relax but my family is on that uses it heavily along with alcohol and seeing how it affected them I refuse to do anything. (along with that fact that my alcoholic father died from falling down stairs and breaking his neck) I've always wanted to be a Doctor, or get in to the Medic Engineering field but it seems I'm just not going to be able to do that... Sup Forums What should I do with my life. I'm leaving it up to you.

don't commit suicide

>get new perspective on life

Life is your oyster

Yeah maybe you should try weed, get some hobby, if you decent looking/confident get a gf. Atleast, you have a goal/aim in life, that's one step forwards.

DMT

OP Here, Mine currently is shit, It the fact that we are a speck of dust in the vast area of space and no matter what we do nothing will change that.

If I get dubs you post picks of ur scars

I don't cut that retarded

Your problem is you're narrowed your choices in life and tried to second guess what your life is. You should have done all your plans in pencil as shit changes and it's easier to accept change and adapt when you're open to anything.

So either adapt, change and survive. Or die. It's a pretty primeval decision you have there OP.

Play Counter Strike

>never have to leave home
>hundreds of thousands of new people to meet and talk to
>from all over the world

Then eat food pleb that's what o do when I'm sad, lift weights you'll be able to feel pain but you'll make yourself feel better by getting gains and you could get laid

I eat a shit ton, and I'm a skinny fuck, all I do is drink soda and eat whatever the fuck I'm in the mood for. Doesn't really do much for me

And? Don't think about the possibility of changing major thibgs, but your small "world".

Play a video game bro. Or go to college? How old are you? Im eating cookies and milk right now... im this user though

Then work out all those calories will provide the nutrients necessary to build muscle and women will flock over your gains

I'm 19 and my family is too poor to afford college, I play video games, that about all I do, I always wanted a PhD but like I said that doesn't seem like a possibility

Dont be dumb. realize what your parents did wrong with weed an alcohol and choose to not do that while still smoking. Legit just smoke every once and awhile and dont treat it how your family did

stop being a fucking faggot

I'd doubt that girls in my town are interested in a tall, nerdy guy, I'm not horribly ugly, but I'm not a handsome stud either, in between.

I feel like if this were the Sup Forums from several years ago, everyone would be encouraging you to do it.

Honestly, my advice is not to leave your life/fate in the hands of Internet strangers. There's a lot to do in this world, a lot to experience, and sometimes you might just feel like you don't want to experience any more of it at all, and a lot of people go through that. I've been through that, and came back out the other side relatively unscathed. By traditional measures, I have yet to achieve any success in my life, but I'm working my way in that direction, step by step, and if I hadn't stumbled on my path, I wouldn't have met/fallen in love with the person I truly feel as though I belong with.

Whether or not you believe in fate, life is often extremely unpredictable, so even if one route was overwhelming, I'd say just accept that and try heading in a different direction.

I wish you the best. Perspective really is everything. Meds also helped me to (mostly) escape my struggles with depression and anxiety. I was fairly opposed to the idea at first, but they truly do help me, and many others, although that widely varies from person to person. Talking to a doctor might be a place to start.

Work out get buff women will like it be smooth and compliment them

I go to college for free.. even if you didn't go full time, if you live in the US theres federal aid that will pay for you to go to a community college.. why don't you get a job, dude? pay for your own phd.. there's tons of aid available and schollarships and loans. If youre going to kill yourself whats to stop you from applying at college and taking out a huge loan to blow before you die? Youre just depressed. You need to meditate more, do you know what chakras are?

No I don't know what those are

I'm funny if you know me, and I crack jokes mostly when something happens but no one wants that here, they're more of the "I get fuckkked at parties and whoever I wake up in bed with is who I'll be with for a week."

>Honestly, my advice is not to leave your life/fate in the hands of Internet strangers.
Well I'm certainly not going to leave it in the hands of my family.

They're energy points within the body. You know the upside-down cross, the Satanic symbol? That represents the chakra allignment within the human body. The way the energy flows and where the main chakras are seated, it's not an evil symbol in fact it predates christianity and exists and is taught within every non jewish-created religion. Religion is not christianity, islam, catholocism, and their derivitiives - those are Abrahamic religions. stay away from those! your ancestors were tormented by them and now their churches mock the deaths of your relatives on every street in america.


but for real dude go to college. a community college, can you do that? you can apply for federal aid first to see how much youll get.. and certain states like New York have extra aid you can apply for.. go to college, man. Do you want to know what it's like? I just finished my first semester back in may, I'm 21

go to fafsa . ed . gov

you apply online OP for the aid. basically you get free money in some cases to go to college.. depending on your families income it could be a little or a lot.

I dont know what state youre in but in my state we have an extra state aid program for college students.

>go to college. a community college
I'd like to go to the one that's a couple towns over but all that comes out of there is wiggers and people with sub-normal iq's.

Not to be rude, You and others have been very helpful, but I gave a hint where I am with the (Yale New Haven Hospital) but I live in CT.

Think about what you want to do in life. What YOU want, not what your parents or someone you look up too wants and you want to earn there approval, what you want. Then go try and make it happen. Literally the only way to be happy.

If you're worried about weed because your father was an alcoholic, you're definitely a moron

I think you may have a sheltered perception of the world. I used to so I kind of suspect it within you. Before I went to highschool my family was telling me it was all "coons" and stuff, and other minority groups, and that they all had guns and were in gangs and things. I went there and nothing happened, Id hit people with my shoulder by not moving over in the hallways when someone was coming, trying to start fights and it never happened.

I went to college, a large % of the people there (maybe 30-40? idk.. its noticable though) are like.. older.. real older, 25-30-35-40 the higher you go the less common they are.. it's not all young people. most people walk with their heads down and don't say hello. nobody pays attention in a lot of classes, theyre talking or sleeping or on their phone.. its a joke,. its easier than highschool was honestly.


anyway OP a lot of people are just like you. very few are socially healthy.

How about rereading where I said >my family is on that uses it heavily along with alcohol and seeing how it affected them I refuse to do anything.

weed is not the solution. its a phase for everyone. if you smoke it every day you will outgrow it eventually. nobody uses it like Terrence Mckenna did. you dont need to smoke weed dude, good on you..

Op Here, Thank you all for the helpful info I'll attempt to get back to all of you to see how it all goes. Wish me Luck

life doesnt change on its own. self loathing will get you nowhere. what do you want from life? you have plenty of time to get it..

To be a doctor, to settle down, have some kids name one after me (I'm the third in my family line with the same first and last name as my grandfather)..ya know other things than playing vidya

What I mean about the name, my name is my grandfather's name, and his name is his adoptive father's name.

go be a doctor.. youre still young. go to the library and read books?

I know a lot, I teach myself, and I have a above average IQ, not bragging like "I'm smarter than everyone on this site and the whole world" No, I just can solve things faster and such. I got tested a lot at Yale (The hospital) and my normal school(s) but it never got me anything besides a "wow that was pretty good" or "Hey you're pretty smart"

go do something? get satisfied with life

suicide is the equivalent to rage quitting just because you are losing, sure you don't have to face the loss, but your teammates do.

OP Here, I bought some tickets to the movies to attempt to get out. Good Idea? Bad Idea?

>leaving it up to Sup Forums

good job faggot