On the 6th I'm turning myself into jail to start serving a 6 month county jail sentence for aggregated assault and battery.
I may be able to sneak a cellphone in there, but in the event that I can't, how the fuck do I keep up with sports in the County?
Aggravated**
what does battery mean
and who did you assault?
Of all things you should worry about during jail time, sports isn't one
Its not that serious lol.
I beat the crap out of a guy trying to put a boot on my car.
>Being this much of a douche
...
Stop breaking laws.
You're a tard
too lazy my man
youre dealing with a guy that would rather starve than go to the supermarket
>I beat the crap out of a guy trying to put a boot on my car.
Why?
If you were in my situation you would do the same shit.
I'm in Miami. Miami cops/towtrucks are KNOWN for scamming people with tows and shit like that. I paid for parking for an hour, came back 30 minutes later and seen this douchebag about to put a boot in my car. When I asked him why he said it is because a parking official told him too. When I showed him the meter he said it's too bad and it would cost me $200 to get the boot removed.
His dumbass still hadn't locked the boot in the car, so I knocked his ass out and took the boot of my tire and threw the boot in the middle of the street and the boot got ran over and destroyed and when he came too again I kicked his ass in the head and bloodied his nose.
The best part is is that he apologized to me while I was kicking his ass and he wouldn't do it again and when I asked what "it" was he said "play you".
This was like a year ago I had that bullshit tied up in court. The company (and the guy and more than a few police officers) have since been arrested for the tow scams. The only reason I'm not going to state prison for a few years is because the guy came into court and testified on my behalf that he was in the wrong and had forgiven me.
You ask Pablo and for just 2 fucks in the bumhole, he'll tell you that Brady won his 5th ring and is going to win his 6th next year.
>Falcons
literally who?
>
They have tvs and internet in jail dumbass.
You still can shit up Sup Forums with your nonsense even while Tyrone is 8 inches deep inside you.
So is getting rammed in the ass by Paco for 6 months worth it?
>Pic related, one of many Tow Scams going on in Miami.
Holy shit like anyone is going to remotely believe this
Yes and no.
this has the potential of a good pasta
>instead of taking evidence like pictures and sueing his ass and the company you decided to kick his ass that resulting in you having to go to jail and probably pay money for fines, etc.
fucking hell americans are dumb as shit
What a suprise. All spics
what a total idiot
you still think you're right, 6 months is too short of a term
Yea I've grown up since then
Yeah I should have kept it short and sweet. I can't even believe this bullshit. I've never committed a crime in my life I'm just bored LARPing.
Try it out on another board.
>I kicked his ass in the head
hahhaha
Bull shit
The guy "apologized and said he was in the wrong "
When you "beat him up twice "
Cool role play faggot
End thread
>there are no news articles about this
The only way you're gonna keep up with sports is by pitching, faggot.
keep your faith in our lord Jesus Christ and you will get through this
god bless you and god bless AMERICA
Assault is strictly verbal.
Battery is physically hurting someone.
thanks for the info lex
does anyone have the letter Lexplorer wrote back to the Sup Forumsartan?
no assault is the attempt to commit something, like if I swung a golf club at you then got tackled by someone I would be charged with assault not battery
you guys know the united states doesn't have some universal set of assault and battery laws, right? you know we're 51 different jurisdictions, right?
post 1 (one) state where assault, as a legal term, doesn't constitute an attempt to commit bodily harm or unwarranted sexual contact
the common law definition is creation of a fear of imminent harm
Going six months to prison because you didn't want to pay 200 dollarydoos, kek user
He violated someones rectal walls with two double a Duracells
AMERICA
AMERICA
GOD SHED HIS GRACE ON THEE
AND CROWN THY GOOD WITH BROTHERHOOD
FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA
Also it sounds like you're in for some easy time, especially if you're a first offender you'll be with other firsts and people trying to get good behavior. You could also have a sentence reduction if you behave well (no fighting mong). You guys will have access to TV and basic sport events, but say goodbye to round the clock coverage and shitposting on Sup Forums Godspeed user.
Lawyer here. Attempt and assault are different crimes. By your logic, attempted assault couldn't exist/would be redundant.
Common law:
Assault: placing someone in the immediate apprehension of physical harm
Battery: a completed assault
I would guess some state statutes don't follow this construct.
Are there really Lawyers on Sup Forums?
so
attempted assault: grabbing the baseball bat and walking toward someone
assault: swinging the bat and missing
battery: swinging again and hitting them in the ribs with the bat
do I have that right?
Not the lawyer, but your scenario for attempted assault could still be construed as assault if you intend to cause an immediate apprehension of harm and the victim's apprehension of harm is objectively reasonable, I think.
In short, yes, you are 100% correct.
And aggravated assault is just threatening to hurt someone
aggravated is assault plus something serious, like a weapon
Childhood is idolizing assault. Adulthood is realizing battery makes more sense.
>Autism on a normy board
Fuck off to any of your containment boards fellas no one gives a fuck what the definition of assault is
Autism is not only anticipated, but expected on all boards. regardless of how normie they are.
In fact the one biggest show of autism is from this board.
wahhhhhhhhhh people aren't talking strictly about sports!!!!!!!!!!!!!