Be me

>be me
>order lubricant & condoms online
>one week goes by
>go and check on my order
>realise I've accidentally written in my neighbors address
>I fucking hate this faggot and he hates me, so I can't go ask for my shit
what do?

Stop being a pussy and go ask for the package. And get your balls back while you're there.

issue is, I've had a long history with this faggot and there's no way he'd give them to me

Go to the store to buy lubricant and condoms like a normal person

Stealing your mail is some kinda crime. There really isn't a downside for you here once you get past the anxiety of walking over there. Have a cheeky response about who they're for if asked.

>implying normal people buy lubricant and condoms at the store

Sorry but your only option is to be a man. I know it can be hard with that vagina between your legs.

This

If he dies not give you your package, that is tampering with mail a d is a federal offense. Call the police if the nigger doesn't want to give it to you.

They do. That's why Walgreens, CVS, and every other pharmacy has sections for them. When most people are gonna fuck and need condoms, they don't wait for shipping times.

Please, don't hurt my internet feelings.
I am but a lowlife trying to fuck his girlfriend, yet my balls are in my chest.

> he stole my mail officer
> how did he do it?
> he possessed me and used my body to enter his address as shipping destination

I still don't see the problem. I guess the problem is that you're a pathetic excuse for a man. How old are you?

That's exactly where normies get their condoms. Go to a grocery store with self-checkout if you're this much of a bitch.

Call company and tell them you have not received your order. Ask them to repeat info, if they say wrong address, you say "No that's not correct, my address is......" When girl tells you, "That's not the info we have on file" You say, without acting like an emotionally stunted pimple faced twitchy bitch, "Well, I do know my own address and I can't understand how you have the wrong number, but obviously I know where I live"

Persistent, firm, authoritative.

Although the requirement of not being a retard in the first place is obviously something you'll need to contend with.

Good luck, faggot.

But OP put his neighbor's address in the shipping info. I think OP is actually trying to fuck his neighbor.

This would be completely impossible for the dickless OP. I'm still trying to figure out how someone with no cock would even need condoms.

19, yet very socially anxious.

Why are you buying condoms online ? And lube. Go ask for you package like you're an adult and not in high school

Pussies like you give millennials a bad name. Did your mommy feed you titty until you were 7? Sack up bitch and get those condoms then get that beaver.

Not quite, as I've got no parents.
Also you do not know the situtation between my neighbor and I.

I'm sure they drove off a cliff when they realized how mediocre you are. The situation is that you are his bitch. His gf probably had to cheat on him because his balls are too big. And she probably likes you because she can boss you around like a weak, stupid puppy.

Sounds like you need a hug, bud.

Regardless, you seem to be making the situation worse by bogging yourself down with what may happen/ what could happen; essentially choosing inaction over action.
Just stop being a fucking pussy and do what's needed to solve this situation.

Sounds like you need a swift kick in the ass, loser.

>the situtation between my neighbor and I
>neighbor fucks op in the ass one night after getting him drunk
>never calls op back afterwards, or asks him to the movies
>op is butthurt
>literally
>"the situation"

Did your parents abuse you as a child?
Call me a pussy all you want faggot, yet I am probably also the only one in this thread getting pussy.
:^)

How'd you know?

The only pussy you're getting just shit in the litter box. I think there's a trap thread waiting for waiting for your little pea sized nuts around here somewhere.

I'M YOUR FUCKING NEIGHBOR, FAGGOT!

Virkelig? Kan du så ikke venlist bringe dem over ojeblikkeligt.

>I am probably also the only one in this thread getting pussy.
>Needs to get his condoms and lube through the mail
>Doesn't have the balls to walk up to the cashier at a drug store with condoms and lube, yet thinks we'll buy the b.s. that he's actually approached a woman for sex.
>The actual reason for the condoms and lube (pic related)
>faggot op is a faggot

Unfortunately you're correct, I am a charlatan.
What will I do without the approval of basementdwelling virgins.

No. I used them all to bang my girlfriend since I am a real man. Now I'm gonna use the lube to fuck OP in the ass.

But you're single? If you truly are my neighbor.
Regardless, I'll be out of the shower in a couple of hours, just knock on the door and I will present my asshole to you papi

This mother fucker just admitted he's a faggot. Now that y have AIDS, you will never fuck the neighbors gf. She will avoid you like the walking plague you are.

I only take it in the ass from superior alphas, even I got my standards.

I guess my gf could suck my dick while you lick my balls. But I must warn you, my balls are enormous.

I've had more inviting invitations

Yeah. It's hard to tell a bitch "can we fuck next week, ground shipping was the most smart choice on my condoms and lube. You see, I like to buy in bulk". I mean, bitch prolly has a waterfall between her legs at this point.

It's also the only place OP can find extra small condoms.