Give me some sayings

Give me some sayings.

"Don't piss down my back and tell me its raining"


gogogo

Ok lemme try making one up...

Your not a dude if you're waifu is lewd!

If the images are drawn its not child porn

Don't cut off the noose just to make a new one

What the fuck?

"If they're black watch your back."

post birds

You walk with the cripples you start to limp

Someone says "How's it going today?"

You: "Same shit, different smell."

That was absolutely shit

I might use it some time

Long and thin goes too far in and disappoints the ladies, short and think'll do the trick and manufacture babies.

dicklet detected

Orrr girl with a thing for Asian cock kek

"Buzzards got to eat......same as worms"

"Don't eat ass on a friday"

The dogs bollocks

When she's in heat pack your meat

The fleshlight of a man contains his progeny for generations.

Treat your tongue in a sacred manner, for it is the whole of life.

If there's grass on the pitch, its time to play

CAW CAW CAW

Give a man a fish, you'll feed him for a day.
Tell a man to fuck a fish, you'll make him look like a horndog.

What goes around is all around

The space between her legs looks like a horse cock or an elephant trunk.

The no-fap of a thousand days begins with the first porn dump.

I've never heard that one before.
Are you polish?

Got a pussy like a punched lasagne

A dick in the hand is worth two in her bush.

It's not gay if her cock is feminine.

well you know what they say,

people that live in glass houses s-ss-sssink ships

No matter how far a jackass goes it won't come back a horse

Don't Piss in the wind

A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat.

Measure twice. Cut once.

Also,

Karate Here. Karate Here. Karate no here.

A stitch in time saves nine.

Anything's a dildo, if you're brave enough.

Go fuck yourself with a cactus

I might use that one some time. Kinda ingenious.

"Get ready little lady. Hell is coming to breakfast"

if theres grass on the pitch, play ball

Bad things come to those who wait too.

related

Build a man a fire he'll be warm for a night
Set a man on fire he'll be warm for the rest of his life

If your age is on the clock, you can jump on my cock.

Today is an excellent day to become a missing person.

Bullshit makes the flowers grow and that's beautiful.

shut up you dumb dicklet
those don't exist

Yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again.

Alle Anfänge sind schwer

German for "all beginnings are heavy".

grass tastes bad

His mother should've ate him while the bones were still soft.

A rolling stone changes location, but it still looks the same.

People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs.

better to be pissed on than pissed off

Always look both ways before crossing the road.

A broken clock is right twice a day.

What is a fart to whom already shat their pants?

This sounds like inspirobot...

There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
'cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.

he is so old that he has one foot in the coffin and the other on a banana peel

i am a victim of circumstances

wait, isn't that lyrics from stairway to heaven?