Weird dreams thread

Weird dreams thread.

>On vacation with family
>Large hotel, late night, everyone asleep but dad
>I'm in a room, not mine, connected to living room (where my dad is)
>I ask the person there if they mind if I masturbate
>She replies "as long as it's not in here, user"
>Her room has a office-type space in it where my laptop is
>Boot it up, prepare for nice wank
>Suddenly dad walks in (to the main room)
>Get real quiet, prepare for worst
>He just shuts out the light and goes to sleep
>Relief washes over me
>Suddenly get bright idea to sleep with the girl in bed
>Walk to bed, then realize I need to brush my teeth
>Run quickly to bathroom, brush teeth
>Run back
>Crawl in bed slowly, she notices but doesn't mind
>Glance at her for first time, turns out she's a fungus
>Realize that I know her, I was introduced to her by my friend, who I remember told me that she was a (human) dancer on a show in 1985
>Ask her how old she is, if she ages the same as trees (dendrochronology)
>She has four rings, so I guess 40
>She laughs, turns out she was born in 1485, this is just her latest incarnation
>Talk a bit more, getting closer, eventually cuddling
>She mentions how it's a very intimate, sexual feeling when she's peeled off of a tree
>She has four notches in her side, sort of scars healing from previous 'encounters'
>mfw boutta have sex with a mushroom
>Begin to kiss/suck on her soft, tender flesh while gently caressing her
>thisiswhyibrushedmyteeth.jpg
>It begins to get really hot and steamy, and I start to question whether or not I should go through with it
>Tell her intermittently through kisses that we should wait and not rush things
>She seems somewhat disappointed, but understands
>Fall asleep with her in my arms

End of dream.

>random episode of simpsons tonight in my dreams dont know the fuck why

>working past job in the county
>boss tells us "gotta go out and do the local scavenger hunt boys"
>look outside across field
>see looming dark clouds comming in
>mutter to co-worker "theirs gonna be a storm"
>he agrees
>i start walking out onto the field toward the storm
>get near the end, clouds getting darker, about to rain
>lightning strikes the ground in front of me
>a brilliant orb of swirling electricity swirls in chaotic circles
>it is pulsing lightning and energy
>something compels me to step toward it
>become swallowed up
>arrive on the same field in the year 1333
>its the colonial renasance
>i am witnessing a civil war take place
>all other figures are blue and ghost like
>they cannot see me
>notice all my tools on my toolbelt have transformed into tools from this time period
>eventually make it to a large government estate house
>pretty 17 year old girls everywhere wearing dresses
>i proceed to start fingering and molesting them all as they walk around the hallways
>the end

I dreamt about being chased by a mob/ pack of black wolves in a black and purple town during the night for like 7 years

That is some wacky fucking shit user. That's a mighty fine ganoderma fungus in your pic btw... looks kinda.... sexy.

fungus have more complex dna than us just puting it out there

I end up in the same fucking smallish shop in the snow, sitting inside and talking with the shopkeeper and people who come in. It's nice and all, but this is the 5th night in a row in that bastard shop.

I had a dream where I was playing a large-scale Minecraft server and my group was getting harassed by our neighbors. I go to the neighbors to start shit and kill some of them but once combat begins I realize I deal no damage and they can't hurt me. I start stealing all their shit and making fun of them before walking out slowly while they call for an admin.

minecraft-dream? fucking autist

Dream from this morning.
>in a long field with trees on both sides
>field was maybe 30' wide and seemingly infinitely long
>with ex gf just bull shitting
>suddenly groups of nignogs start walking up from the left
>one group of 6 start surrounding my ex
>I put my hand on my 1911 thinking shit's about to get ugly
>blonde woman 20' from my right yells
>"ALRIGHT, REN FEST IS NOW OPEN!"
>nignogs get visibly excited
>"FUCK YEA" "DAMN RIGHT NIGGA"
>every nignog starts putting on fake armor, wizard robes, pulling out axes, war hammers, staffs, bows, etc.
>mfw

So basically you just dreamt about being a Skyrim NPC 5 nights in a row

>nigs getting excited for a renaissance festival

I'll take things that will never happen for $500, Alex.

Yea, crazy right?
It's almost as if it was a dream.

To be fair, I'll go to ren fest at least once a year and you'll see a good 5 or 6 nignogs, but they're never in costume.

Can't wait for this guy's next dream where he gets into a T pose and clips through the floor.

>at home depot
>return some kind of equipment or something
>leaving
>wait...is that Ben Affleck by the door?
>looked like he did in Goodwill Hunting
>asks if he can see my receipt
>start saying something to him
>he cuts me off
>he's fucking around with the receipt
>try asking what's the holdup
>cuts me off again
>tells him I'll kick his ass if he keeps being a dick
>"You might be batman in the future, but you're just some asshole at home depot now"
>he runs outside
>he gets in the batmobile and speeds off
>I wake up

my dream was that i was watching this guy's life, even though the guy couldn't see me i could see and hear everything he was doing. the guy was panicking because all his friends and loved ones didn't know him. almost as if he was a complete stranger. then there is a giant flash, as soon as the flash clears the guy is in outer space and says "i understand now the law of awareness". apparently the guy was in an another alternate universe where he didn't exist.

Oh man that's deep

>Dreaming
>See a dead relative
>Talking to them
>Remember said person is dead
>In my dreams I tell her she is dead
>Cries, bursts into nothingness and disappeared
>Wakes up
>Feel bad for making her cry.

Wew lad, maybe there is a spirit realm somewhere and they are not allowed to talk to the living or they end up getting in trouble?

>My dreams are always super vivid
>reality checks don't work
>I jump, I come back down
>I hold my breathe, I pass-out in my dream and wale up in real life
>I read the same sentence twice and it's the same
>clocks have numbers, the time is the same if i read it twice
>i can smell, taste, see, hear, feel
>I hate dreaming, even if it's not a nightmare because i think it's reality until i wake up
>the worst is the pain. If i get hurt in my dreams, the pain is so real and it's scary
>I'm always dying in my dreams.
inb4 gary jules quotes
> but I never wake up immediately after dying.
I even dreamt i killed myself once.
reply if you want green texts of dreams.

I have a few reoccurring dreams
>Zombies in my small town
>Beginning of apocalypse
>Mom doesn't comprehend the gravity, probably from the sudden stress
>She tries to let in a grotesque, fat, intelligent speaking zombie
>I gun it down with a Remington 870
>She is perplexed by my actions
>Head a mile up the road to my church where zombies are spawning from a graveyard
>Battle ensues
>Turns out my grandmother is an ancient lich
>Mfw

Hell yes

I had a dream where the rapture happened with comedic timing.

ok, heres the one where i killed myself.
Keep in mind how vivid and clear my dreams are while reading. everything in first person, except for that one dream i had where i died and was walking around.
>Be me
>Dressed in all black
>At full sprint, running with an assault rifle and a backpack
>Inside a mall after dark
>Running on the second floor along the glass balcony
>Run across the lobby
>meet up with 3 other guys dressed like me with guns and bags
>I turn to the blonde one
>He's wearing a black tactle neck and black beanie with glasses
>kinda looks like jared leto in fightclub with his blonde hair
>We'll call him "Blondie"
>To Blondie "We gotta get the fuck outta here."
>Agrees and we make a run for the exit
>Outside it is snowing heavily and it seems maybe around 5am-ish?
Where it's kinda light out and you can clearly see, but the sun hasn't risen yet.
>get into passenger side of white killer van with no windows
>at this point I'm not wearing my mask
>He's not wearing his black winter cap and something doesn't feel right
>I look around and it's still snowing heavily
>we are on a long two lane road as far as the eye can see in each direction
>about 10yds from the road on each side is a tree line that also stretches as far as the eye can see
>the road and ground matches with the sky at this point when looking at the horizon up ahead and behind us
>OH SHIT i say under my breath
>mfw I realize i don't recognize my get-away driver at all
>pull my cellphone out side of my right pocket in between door and my thigh so he can't see
>try to end a text
>fucknosignal.jpg
>ask him who the fuck he is
>I don't even give him time to respond
>as soon as i see his eyes light up and his face relax devilishly, I make my move
>I open my door and bail out while the vans still rollin'
inb4 "rolin' rollin' rollin' yeahh"
>tuck and roll
>already sprinting back in the direction we came by the time he brakes.
>He runs after me with a cowbar
>oh shit hes catching up!!
cont

Nice, I hate those ones where you know something is wrong but you can't piece it together

>oh shit hes catching up!!
>Feel the pain of that heavy ass crowbar hitting the back of my knees
>mfw he threw that bitch
>grabs me from behind
>his right arm is under my right armpit holding my chin
think of meatshield in gears
>"AGGHHH!" I scream because fuck, the pain
>he had stabbed me under my ribs on my left side with his free left hand
>In that exact moment i just remember looking off into the distance
>see that we are in the middle of fucking nowhere
>bloodonthesnow.jpg
>Beats the fuck out of me with crowbar for a solid minute
>starts dragging me by my foot back to the van
>Still staring off into the direction we came only now upside down.
>see trail of blood on the snow
>all in one motion and moment I think
>"fuck it! hes not going to take me alive"
>remember i have my benchmade pocket knife in my right cargo pocket
>*Inhale sharply through my nostrils
>clench my jaw and grind my molars
>stab the left side of my neck and rip across with all my strength
>slit my own throat with my pocket knife
>choke and cough on the blood
>vision eventually gets blurry until my eyes close
>pic related
>the last thing i see before i die, only upside down with a trail of blood behind me

dream that i was in a building as a janitor and hear a noise i go to investigate. i stumble upon a glass floor and suddenly something drops and cracks the floor. i start to fall and as i fall i wake up next to my friend in a train seeing the landscape through the window until the train goes off the tracks and people start getting hurt and the luggage is all over the place. it stops and manage to break the window to get out. until i get stuck and the front car explodes consuming the other cars. that was my first and only dream within a dream.

Damn

>at home
>makin with gf n getting sexy
>niggers break into my house
>ohshit.exe
>pepper spray those bitches
>re lock the door and get my only other weapon, a bow
>tell gf to get away
>niggers break back in for some reason
>shoot them and they back off for some time
>niggers come back with bows
>I get a couple shots off but then I get hit by a wave arrow shots
>niggers got automatic bows
>can feel the arrows in the different parts of my body
>can feel certain movements being restricted
>can feel the blood dripping
>Picardlaughing.avi
>good thing I already called the cops and can hear them outside my building
>sad that gf had to see me die
>hope it's just a dream
>it's just a dream