/brit/

takin ye hostage edition

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GAS
THE
TAIGS
lads

got a fit gf and loadsa money but 4000 words to right by midday

Abu-jaishi-al-britani

Let's imagine a day without immigrants

You wake up in the morning, birds are singing because no niggers killed them.
You take a piss and it doesn't burn because you have affordable healthcare.
You grab the newspaper, nobody got murdered yesterday, but feminism is dead.
You eat a bowl of cereal and don't get cancer, then kiss your wife because it's easy to find a girl.
Off to work, because everyone has a job and the salary is better since the demand is higher.
You pass by the mailbox, and there is no vandalism, your neighbor waves at you.
You leave your car in the driveway and take the bus and it's not packed, you have plenty of space.
You didn't have to pay a fare because public transportation is free.
The roads are in perfect condition because nobody is eating your taxes with welfare checks.
Out the window, you don't see any homeless, because they were able to find a job and house since rents are significantly cheaper.
Therapy centers are going bankrupt because there are almost no drug dealers left, and jails are practically empty.
You get to work and don't have to worry about some idiot shooting up the place.
That's because the quality of life has increased and people are generally happy, also there are no terrorists.
You finish your 6 hour shift, because laws have been passed to prevent exploitation.
You pass by the grocery to get supper, everything is cheap and good quality.
On the way home you see children singing as they're walking and wave to them.
When you get home, everything is intact because you haven't been robbed.
You make supper with your wife and have small talk about your day.
Your kids come home from school and didn't get bullied.
Today they learned how to build things and critical thinking instead of getting brainwashed.
After supper you bring the family to a community organised activity.
Everyone had fun and is tired, so you go to bed early.
Good night beautiful world.

0161
janny on the map

shan't

Shan't

that is something they've had since the napoleonic days pham.
uh.. we'll have another census in 2021?

haven't read beyond the first sentence but reeks of rorke

listening to lil durk while cooking lunch

no

shan't

Islamist gun battles.

this is the mindset of the average woman these days

tryna fuckin one up me cunt?

just put to ol' cheese and ham toasties in the george foreman

>On the way home you see children singing as they're walking and wave to them.

NONCE

Can't stand rugby full of middle class twats

It's mental that people think that vandalism and scrounging and people riding on buses and drug dealing and terrorism and robbery are only done by immigrants.

ISIS was roasted they couldn't overcome their war. Since everyone turned their backs to them.

My dad used to smoke a pipe tbqh, guess he was a bit of a hat man. Was more acceptable back in the 70s though.

Now this is a story all about how
My party got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became Prime Minister Tony Blair
In Willowbrae, Edinburgh born and raised
In the library was where I spent most of my days
Readin’ some maxims, relaxin' all cool
And all learnin’ ‘bout Engels (oh, what a fool)
When a couple of Leftists who were up to no good
Started pledging their allegiances to Michael Foot
Thatcher was winning elections, which I just couldn’t bear
That’s when I became the Right Honourable Anthony Blair.
So Foot got booted and Kinnock uprooted
And Major’s right-wing rule was barely disputed
So what about Smith’s leadership? With luck it
Reformed the party a bit, but then he kicked the bucket.
Party head, yo, this is dead
I’d rather be the head of the country instead.
Becoming the first Labour PM since Callaghan?
Man, what a great plan.
Election 97’, and when it came near
The Labour landslide – well, things can only get better from here
At first I thought that this kind of election was rare
But then I won two more.
Hague and Howard just can’t compare.
I pulled up to the House about 2007
And I yelled to the Commons, "I’ll see you in Heaven”
I looked at my Kingdom
I was finally there
The greatest PM since Gladstone: Blair.

>look here Mr juncker, if the deal is unfavourable towards us, well, there will be WMD's found in Brussels.
>You know the rest

same

'shall we watch the ol' ruggers'
go fuck yourself you upper middle class southern twat, i hate you and everything you fucking stand for REEEEEEEEE

SWIIIIIIIIIIIING LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

UNCLE
N
C
L
E

Yeah that's why the iraqi army defeated them. It's with the help of sunni's

*shows you his personal pipe pouch*
You see, it's a simple rotation. I smoke the 223 on Monday, the 209 on Tuesday, the Lorenzetti on Wednesday, then I go back to the 223 on Thursday, and usually finish the week with my 209. The Lorenzetti is probably my most stylish pipe of the three, and I smoke it on weekends, though I don't smoke most weekends.

Cool, huh?

exquisite post

>the Jamaican LABOUR Party is the right-wing party of Jamaica
>the People's NATIONAL Front is the left-wing party of Jamaica

This made me do a really big think

back to the mines runt

like that song of his with dej loaf

dej is great

fuck im hungry

mr president Mélenchon

But shiite militia are backed by Iran. Because nuri al maliki was a underwear salesman.

One day it'll be funny I'm sure of it.

>using a lighter

absolutely atrocious form
pipes are meant to be lit with a wooden match

Fuck Blur too, middle class southern twats

need a macron president

unironically battier than Corbyn

>not voting for a woman
bigot

lmao, the projection is strong here.

absolute runt post

>when you see 30/40yr old men dressed like Oasis impersonators

fucking howling at these jacamo runts

Why is he even talking about the Syrian war?

That being nominally nationalist or socialist doesn't actually mean anything?

For example the (((((CONSERVATIVE))))) party of Great Britain legalising homo marriage

google earth has a rudimentary flight sim on it

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TONY COME BACK AND SAVE US PLEASE

yes good love song

don't like girls with big feet/hands

said to my parents at dinner last night that we need to send them back, said i was insensitive and slefish
hmmm

Let him talk his gibberish. He'll be running amok soon.

Just had some REALLY unsatisfactory sausages lads, richmonds.

>crispy on the outside
>soft as fuck on the inside

>faggotry
>in any way an issue conservatism should be concerned with

>why yes, I do make use of the (((triple parentheses))) meme

the gf has very cute small feet :))

well you did buy richmonds you fucking idiot

Mum is a rorke on immigration, big lefty on everything else though

fuck off nonce

youtube.com/watch?v=nNTyfVh3nmU

diplo is fucking QUALITY

my ex gf was the same

loved seeing her tiny hands around my cock

good lass

hatberg

theres a rich pong of ploppy poo strong in the air

yea

Just realised I'm young and carefree and summer is soon and life is good

t. Shlomo Redditberg

should we make the table longer or the door stronger lads? i reckon table

nonce

>triple parentheses
Lad it's not triple parentheses, it's multiple ones. You can have as many as you want above two.
MEME OFF BRO, YOU AND ME

3hunna did time for them

good lad

Le Pen won't win

What should I buy then? X

Our great British fleet. Our ancestors.

fuck off

she was only 5 years younger mate

could not care less about Sup Forums gimmicks
haven't visited that board for 2 years

buy most of my clothes from george

...

try decent sausages. how are you this inept? jfc

Ever made love to the woman of your dreams in a room full of money out in london and she screams?

harrisburg oh harrisburg the plant is melting down

so 11?

>*invades your country*
>nothin personal kid

Remembering 11 year old Francis Rowntree who died on this day in 1972 after being shot by a British soldier in Ireland

>juncker wouldn't budge, LOL

le pen will win

trips confirm

t. 18 year old

buy most of my clothes from chairty shops

I hate the UK they invaded many Islamic territories.

LOL

steal most of my clothes from donation bins

THE chune
youtube.com/watch?v=nm6cSk5jgn8

if le pen wins I will slice off my le penis and post it here

your mums fanny is a sperm donation bin

>you will never be an officer in the 18th century Royal Navy

Just fucking gas me already

Schoolboy rugby on tour was a real eye-opener for me. I pretty much adhered to the Welsh stereotype as a kid - from the valleys, rough around the edges and liberal use of curse words.

Our local club went on a small tour of Surrey and the London Suburbs to a number of private schools. Crikey. I know how those Russian dudes felt turning up to Hogwarts in that Harry Potter Goblet film.

Heated indoor swimming pools, full on gyms, changing rooms nicer than the hotel we were staying in. "Holy fuck" was one of the politer phrases used to compliment the places.

It couldn't have been more different to what we were used to, playing Sunday morning rugby, halfway up an exposed mountain with drizzle blowing sideways into our faces.

The one thing that hammered home the differences was during one match, one of their players ran over to the referee and went: "Referee, referee sir, that boy over there [pointing to our prop] pushed me over quite deliberately". We were stunned. Did he really just do that? Our prop's defence: "Pushed him over? I hardly fucking touched him mun [14 years old]".

It really, really is a game for people of all shapes, sizes and demographics.

We absolutely trounced them.