I was at a restaurant with my wife a few weeks ago

I was at a restaurant with my wife a few weeks ago.
My wife went to the bathroom and told me when she got back, that when she walked in a woman was taking the loudest piss she ever heard, like someone running a bath with both taps turned on fully. My wife peed, washed her hands and was fixing her hair and lipstick when the woman finally stopped, my wife waited around to see the monster that had unleashed that torrent in the cubicle next to her (who at this point was still going), expecting some giant hamplanet, imagine my wife's surprise when the piss finally stopped and out walked Elizabeth Debicki.

My wife said she was already going when she walked in and went for at least a further two minutes, her flowing only slowing in the last 10 seconds or so.

I saw Elizabeth Debicki at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told her how cool it was to meet her in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother her and ask her for photos or anything.

She said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but she kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing her hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard her chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw her trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in her hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Ma'am, you need to pay for those first.” At first she kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, she stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, she kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

get out user i'm piss

liar

Katie Ledecky

>TFW no thoroughbred race horse giant waifu

She has such big feet and toes, wish they were hairy.

i would love to lick and suck her hairy pisy pusy!

do you think she shaves her toes ?

I want to licki then sticki my dicki in Debicki.

>electrical infetterence

Gets me every time

Yeah, and tops of the feet, whenever she does her legs, I'm not sure if she waxes or shaves her legs though.

Would be neat if she left all the hair from the ankles down.

i wish she did more movies that exhibited her sexy slender figure

*slow claps*
*steps out of the shadows*
Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material...
But memeing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? To call yourself a member of the Ruseman's Corps? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - I mean the big guys, like Johnny Hammersticks and Billy Kuahana - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme.
And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you just lost :^). It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive.


See you on the boards...

I met Elizabeth Debicki once at an airport, very weird.

She sat behind me whilst we were waiting for the gate to start accepting passengers and she leans towards me and asks me "Hey, you got a pen?".

Shee sounded very normal and charming, very confident. So I gave her a pen that I had strapped to my notebook and this was years ago when she had that huge arm hair and she took the pen and put it in her arm hair and it completely disappeared.
I was so fucking confused and I never got that pen back. It was too awkward to ask for it back, seems like she was trying to impress a random stranger with her "craziness" or something.

If she emptied her three+++ liter bladder, would you drink it?

I would only drink it if she didn't shave her legs or feet and she just pissed all over them so I could lick it all off from toes to pussy.

i would, as urine has healthy effects on your body. i wouldn't drink it in a sexual sense

Wow, shes even taller than my waifu

post the pic where she is sitting on the left side in a bathing suit

who is that guy?

Only straight from the source
I would attach my mouth like a leech and not let go

It's Kyle Bosman

This one?

she ISNT A GUY PLS STOP SAYING THIS ITS MEAN

yes. this is one of the sexiest pics i've seen recently

Literally who? As if you or your wife would know who that is.

What did her son have to say about it?

*braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap*

oh gosh, thats lewd

post if you have any webms

Shit, I really should go make some shouldn't I.

yes, preferably with her in bathing suit and bathing cap

any good shots of her pusy crotch?

...

mmm i wish they swim naked it would be so sexy to see her burger when she kicks her legs!

heh

The biggest problems with tall girls is their giant feet.

Yeah me too, I have trouble fitting them in my mouth

I like their giant turds

How much do you think she can eat in a single sitting?

girls with giant feet are hot

...

Long af slender feet are the best feet

Fresh off the boat, from reddit, kid? heh I remember when I was just like you. Braindead. Lemme give you a tip so you can make it in this cyber sanctuary: never make jokes like that. You got no reputation here, you got no name, you got jackshit here. It's survival of the fittest and you ain't gonna survive long on Sup Forums by saying stupid jokes that your little hugbox cuntsucking reddit friends would upboat. None of that here. You don't upboat. You don't downboat. This ain't reddit, kid. This is Sup Forums. We have REAL intellectual discussion, something I don't think you're all that familiar with. You don't like it, you can hit the bricks on over to imgur, you daily show watching son of a bitch. I hope you don't tho. I hope you stay here and learn our ways. Things are different here, unlike any other place that the light of internet pop culture reaches. You can be anything here. Me ? heh, I'm a judge.. this place.... this place has a lot to offer... heh you'll see, kid . . . that is if you can handle it...

oh yeah? post proof

large feet also help with swimming!

and looking like a dolphin apparently

These feet won 5 gold medals.

they also help with foot fucking my throat and wearing me like a boot

do her turds float openly in the pool?

How much I wonder I could eat in a single one of her shittings

>this thread

this

YOU DONT SHIT IN THE POOL
YOU SWIM IN THE POOL

kek

what third world shithole do you live in where you cant dump a turd while swimming?

THATS UNPROFESSIONAL