Walk down street at midnight

>walk down street at midnight
>see a dufflebag with 2.5 million dollars in it

What do?

Take home make sure no one sees me. Spend it little by little. Wash it somehow.

Take it and inspect for gps device.
Spend every penny on coke and snort it of the blade of a knife.

How will you spend it without the IRS being on your ass?

Check my surroundings, cautiously pick it up, go to nearest motel, call a trusted friend, make a plan to get out of the area for a couple weeks, then live modestly for the rest of my life.

I don't know if I'f pick it up, that sum means whoever owns it will certainly miss it and will go No Country For Old Men on your ass and put a hit out on you

You're kidding right?

Poop on it!
Then when the next guy grabs the money hell have to tuch my poop!

You planning on spending it all at once? I am good friends with a dude that sells cars in the Pitt area. Drug dealers come in all the time. Pay cash for 30-40k cars. He will take 5000 dollar payments from them over a few weeks. Never gets reported to IRS if its below 10K.

If you spend it on products that do not require putting down your name one it they probably wont notice...unless someone reports you. So dont tell anyone you found it. You can set up your own dream company, hopefully with a small loan from a bank. Do what you want to do and try to do it well, if your company is in the red you funnel the cash through it so you can then have leggit money. Taxes are a bummer, but buying a car and house is nice.

Jokes on all of you fuckers, if you return it to the police you get half back as a reward.

IRS doesn't have your ass, and the whole town will probably host you a dinner.

Also cash is king. You can work out all types of shit if you wanna buy property if you come with stacks of hard money.Buy property on a land contract with balloon payments every so often. Say 5000 a month plus 10k every year. Ppl do it all the time. Source I was a real estate broker in a former life.

I'd give my grandma 1k a month
I'd spend 1k a week on steam by purchasing 2 500 dollar cards
Buy groceries, buy burgers, gas, girlfriend, weekly movies
basically what I do already. I drive people around (not 3rd party commercial)

pay for groceries and other stuff with cash, deposit a few hundred every month, purchase a modest property and make the mortgage payments with 100% of your legit traceable earnings while supplementing other expenses with the cash.

you still have to register it, so the irs will know of the purchasing of the car

Pull up No Country for Old Men on my phone real quick and try to do a better job

Anyone know a way to make extra money as a driver?
All I do is drive people. Maybe I've been watching too many movies but I was kind of hoping to find someone who needs transportation for a high wager. Whats a way of getting in contact?
>inb4 fbi/v&

Piss on it to show my dominance?

You give the government way to much credit. Why would the IRS be checking car registrations?

Convert it all into pennies and pull a Scrooge McDuck

make sure theres not a transponder in it

Pretty fuckin' original, jerkface.

Keep on walking.

Any motherfucker who dropped a bag with 2.5 million is going to want it back and likely has more, which means that they can pay someone to track me down and whack me.

Just. Keep. Walking.

1. Wonder why there's 2.5 million dollars on a street in England.
2. Pick it up and take it home.
3. Tell NOBODY.
4. Take $100-200 a week to a money exhange place and live forever doing that so there's no chance of getting found out if it's dodgy.

Drug traffickers require a VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY high level of trust from the drug lord. Transporting 10m worth of drugs takes high trust. If you steal those drugs, you and your family will be behead.

So hypothetically, if the IRS came asking questions, and you told them straight up that you found the money and it didn't have an owner so it's finders keepers...What would happen? It's not illegal to pick up one unattended twenty dollar bill off the sidewalk so what would be illegal about picking up 125,000 of them?

...

No doubt. I'd be honest and say I wouldn't know the first thing to do with a trunk load of drugs. It's a lot of stress, but in the end I just want to start a new life somewhere outside of my State. Things are getting too stale in my fucking life and it's becoming depressing.

No if it's actual lost money and you return it to the police you can get the entire sum back if no one claims it. Problem is that there's probably no legal reason to have $2.5 million sitting in a duffle bag and the police can just confiscate it all as "evidence" if they even suspect a crime at play.

However if you somehow get it back, you'd probably have to hire a lawyer to do so, you'd still have to pay taxes to the IRS as it still counts as income and showing it to the police ensures there's a record of it. You're going to lose a third of it if not more just to taxes.

Still that'd probably be the best way to go about it in the long run.

move back home with my mother and go back to school. Than go to the store and buy Visa Master cards with at least a few Grand on a few and slowly keep doing that until i feel like i am in the "clear".

I should probably have believed beta fags like you could possibly exist but it's hard to believe.
>keep walking

literally find a pile of money and pussy out...

But then you probably don't have a mortgage and mouths to feed and expensive hobbies. I would snatch that bag so hard it's mother would feel it.

Finding 2. 5 million dollars and spending it is certainly illegal. So is finding 20 dollars and spending it.

The only difference is that no one is going to waste thier time investigating 20 dollars. It's so insignificant. 2.5 million dollars however...

Do you happen to know what the actual law is? Wondering what the best way would be to navigate it. Probably this

Take it home and waste it all at once on frivolities.

Take it. Buy 20 pounds of coke and snort it all in 1 night.

>How will you spend it without the IRS being on your ass?
By not acting like a nigger when you spend it.

Scream out "Look! The Motherload!!"
Proceed to pull my pants down to ankle level
Run down the street with peepee out
Trip and fall, spilling cash everywhere
Peepee is damaged
Hitman is legund

The law of found money is that you need to make every possible effort to return it to it's owner. And when the owner isn't obvious like there's no receipt or ID attached then you turn it in to the police. At least for larger sums. The cops and IRS don't care about petty cash, it's not worth anyone's time so you can just pocket it although it is TECHNICALLY illegal to do so. Larger sums they can arrest you for theft for just taking and attempting to hide it from the IRS can get you tax evasion and such. I can't say the exact cut off for what amount you can safely pocket but I'm guessing anything over $500 would be worth reporting. And as I posted before if no one comes to claim the cash then you can go get it yourself.

No lawfag, but it's something like "theft of unattended property", same as if you stole a random backpack or wallet

Turn it in to the police
The real question is:
Why do people call threads bait (pic related)?
Like we're not fucking fish. We're human
What are the thread generators? Fisherman?
I don't get it.
Someone explain

Bump

You are bait.

this is what i would do too. Pay for just small stuff and save up regular money.

No I'm not
I'm asking a question

your joke wasnt lost on me

I'd leave it because I've seen what happens in No Country for Old Men. No thanks

Don't go back to give a dead man water.

Turn it into the cops or just walk by it.

>Im not some criminal piece of shit that needs to steal someone elses money to make my life better, ill work for that shit.

Easily.
It is done daily.

So the cops can pocket it themselves. Hahahaha.

Now instead of filling out a CRC which is legal and ok, you've got an SAR on your account, dumbass.

Let them idgaf, if they want to be investigated about it later then let them.

...

Ignore it and hopefully avoid getting killed by whoever would carry 2,5 million dollars in a bag and drop it in the open at night.

2.5 million? That's enough money that I'd literally kill to keep it.
Zip up bag, throw it in my car, drive hours away and out of state, start new life.
I'll abandon my job and everything I currently own, it can all be replaced cheap enough. (single dude with no kids/pets anyway)
Get a trusted friend or family member to start a cash based business to launder the money before any big purchases.