My life is fucking ruined Sup Forums

My life is fucking ruined Sup Forums
>be me
>be today
>hornyasfuck.exe
>got a mouth fleshlight I decide to use like good old times
>hard as fuck to hold and browse porn hub
>brightidea.gif
>stuff fleshlight in between mattress and box spring
>ramming my bed like a fucking racing piston from Fast and Furious 25
>hereitcomes.bat
>ohhh fuck Yeah man
>fucking bedroom door swings wide open and its my mom saying "hey user...uhhhhh"
>door slams..I still haven't been down stairs
>kill me plz

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how old are you op ?

Can you type like a normal human being please

Her fault for coming in unannounced, that's pretty fucking rude considering you are an of age adult who should be allowed to have his privacy.

Sometimes I think people know exactly what their fucking doing when they open doors without knocking first.

That will teach you to lock the fucking door ... and her never to walk into your room without knocking.

16 my boi
But everyone does that

19..

Not me

Privacy is one of those things you should only expect in YOUR OWN house.

18+ :/ nobody call m0ds

Newfag

That's a 2 year ban

OK so I agree. I'm a degenerate..thats not the issue. What the fuck do i do now? My mom caught me ramming the bed like a fucking Billy goat with rabies..kinda hard to even consider looking her in the eye

lol stfu

you both learned something today
honestly I would have a came down quickly. Women tend to gossip and tell people stuff if you don't engage them immediately. So just hope the whole town does not know by now

Your mom is mostly as embarrassed as you are. Go talk to her and if you play cards right you might get some sweet incest.

I don't know if my mom is gonna rat me out to her friends.. but has anyone been caught jerking or doing weird shit by their mom

You have to dominate her now, while she's weakened. Go stuff your cock down her throat.

that's what one gets for living off his mother

the trips of truth

Nah man that's retarded, because everyone knows what guys do in their privacy.

Wtf does a normal 19 year old do? I don't know anyone 19 and with their own fucking place

Tell your mom to get the fuck back here...You aren't finished yet.

Or next time, wear a pair of her dirty pantys on your face.

did you have your own place at 19?

Ok I left out one key point
The reason she walked in was because
I was screaming my moms name ok there
I said it

Well, after this incident I bet your mom will knock before opening your door. People masturbate. Believe it or not, your mom has masturbated many times. It's not really that big a deal.

locks the fucking door

I'm not into wincest tho. I was literally just hammering my fleshlight handsfree

Not me again. Wow lots of hijackers

at least scruffy was knotted in yerass

new = fag = u

>have mom
>fuck fleshlight
?????

U wut

Sup Forums was better when posters had randomly assigned ids. But you were still in middle school back then.

I remember my first day on Sup Forums. Oh wait actually no I don't

On the bright side, she'll never barge in to your room again

yeah. was kind off fed up having no room of my own plus good old mom demanded 300 cost for 250 rent house

mom walked in on me as I was in fapville
I chased her down the hall and shoved her down
I held the back of her neck down as I fumbled her pants down
shoved that pre cum covered cock in her wet pussy as she squirmed and wimpered

Turn 360 degrees and walk away fggt

>your parents dont knock before opening your door

sucks to have parents who dont give a shit about your privacy

yea but everyone does that to your mom anyway

So should I go downstairs like nothing happened or just go to bed with shame

My Step mam knocked on my door when my gf was giving me a handjob, she asked if she could come in and i just shouted "NO" I didn't really know what to do, next morning i walked downstairs with a massive hickey and she just laughed. don't sweat it man

exactly thats why I did it

Not OP or anyone but can people tell who is who on other boards at all? I have no idea why I am here

>Normal human being.
>Sup Forums.
Pick one.
NORMIES GET OUT REEEEEEEEEEEEEE

just pretend nothing happened, its not the end of the world.

then my mom posted a pic of the fleshlite on her FB page wanting to know what is was

Some boards have ids still, such as Sup Forums and /soc/. You're here because you have nothing better to do with your life, just like the rest of us.

how does one come across a fleshlight at 16?

Walk casually downstairs with your cum filled fleshlight and put it in the dishwasher for cleaning.

So you want him to walk forward?

I'm 19. Other dude is a faggot thread jacker

tell mom its her fault since youll never be a man living with her

Bitch it's convenient. Dorms are expensive as fuck on top of tuition and books..I'm fucking trying to graduate to not be a NEET.

ok just walked down stairs mom made a humping movement then laughed as she was eating hard boiled eggs

Yes pretend like nothing happened. If it comes up say you were fixing your bed

Holy shit, leave, kid

Sup Forumsro. My bare pasty white ass was thrusting into the bed. No way she will buy it

my brother once told my dad he found hentai on my pc once, I told him the website was hacked and I think he bought it

She wants the d

your mom will have to peel the mattress from the box springs like opening a grill cheese sammich

Got you and they're obvious but some bitchy little shit stains on Sup Forums were adamant they could tell who OP was an ye true but I also found OPs story funny

Newfag

And??? She physically seen me pumping my bed full of dick. Hard to claim my boxspring had malware

...

please leave

you asked if our parents ever caught us doing weird shit, so I answered.

My mother once caught me using blackberry jam instead of strawberry to make a pb&j sandwich. I was young and curious and it was a mistake. It's been 25 years and we've still never spoken of the incident.

Hope this helps,

-- Gary

Post pics of mom and a pair of mom's panties.

It doesn't . Fuck

I got caught getting sucked by the vacuum cleaner hose
Worst part was I was at the carwash

kek

...

get... the fuck... out.

I did that once too. I have a fear of cyborgs to this day.

my dick was corrugated for a week

I'd go full contact and explain to her that you have a sextoy that you stick between matress & frame to block it in position.

I don't know man, maybe my mother just taught me to be honest and not give a fuck. Always told her any drug I was doing 'hey, I tried this, it's fun." or "I tried that, that sucks, won't do it again".

Must suck to have shitty / boring parents you can't be honest with. I mean, there are limits, like I don't talk about straight up sex cause that's gross to include her in that. But yeah, I think I'd just own it. Otherwise it's just gonna be weird between you for a while, she's gonna wonder wtf you were doing, if you'"re retarded or smth.

Just own it, she might be all shocked for a couple hours then she gonna be like "well, at least it's rational. Stupid and kinda disgusting, but at least I've got a logical explanation for what I saw. I'll knock next time."

Grow up.

OMG TRIIIIIPPPPSSSS

yea

OMG DUBZZZZZZZZZ

This, very much this

I did the kek

this

or maybe now they'll fucking knock

I walked into the living room as my mom told the whole card playing gang that she caught me fappin talk about embarrassed

>I remember my first day on Sup Forums. Oh wait actually no I don't
I remember your first day on Sup Forums. You were such a little bitch. Not much has changed since last week, I see..

tape the fleshlite to the dogs back and let the dog roam the house

This. Just roll with it so she have an explanation.

You might get scolded if she's a retarded bitch (and I expect that in durrmurica") but at least she'll know you are not a weirdo who gets off by making his dick bleed between furnitures.

holy shit this

...

Authoritarian horse shit. FYI your kid hates you

explain to your mom that youre well aware that sexually transmitted diseases as well as un expected pregnancy could ruin your goal oriented life

Goals:
1) waste time on Sup Forums
2) fuck fleshlights
3) ???
4) profit

starp fapping with fleshlite as you chase your mom around the house screaming IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED TO SEE MOM HUH

I was a bit of a scumbag growing up. my mother has caught me numerous times doing way worse.
The first time she ever caught me doing something terrible was in like 2004 when me and my friend used Kazaa to download some weird free pirated porn on my computer and we both were jerking off next to each other to it. My mom walked in, closed the door and said from outside the door "umm, i guess i'll knock next time" then my friend and ate dinner with the fam right afterwards.


I'm recently single and had to move back in with my parents, they have texted me several times late at night that I've woken them up from rough, drunk sex with disgusting Tinder girls.

You're fine, OP. This is no big deal. Go downstairs and eat dinner. Just make it clear that you've washed your hands first.

who knows user maybe your mom rubbed one out after she saw your pert little white ass

youtube.com/watch?v=NrnXNwqWLUA

I can see where this is going. They'll end up fapping together, or the mom will just watch

>your mom will have to peel the mattress from the box springs like opening a grill cheese sammich

kek

tell her you had a girl in there