Help me. I only fuck my wife about once a week, and even that's too much for me. I'd much rather just masturbate...

Help me. I only fuck my wife about once a week, and even that's too much for me. I'd much rather just masturbate...I'd do it everyday if the bitch wasn't always on my ass. I want to do it right now even, but she's expecting sex tonight. Can I just tell her to leave me the fuck alone, or do I "owe" her some sex as part of keeping a happy home?

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Yeah, you owe her a sex life. You can totally be like: "go fuck other guys, I'll be here masturbating". You don't have to be the one fucking her, but you must allow her to fuck when she wants.

>Get someone else to fuck her
>Watch and masturbate
>?
>Profit

dude if you don't want to have sex then just tell her no, you don't owe her shit
>this mans own wife is raping him

I've told her plenty of times that she can fuck other dudes. I totally encourage it. But she's...boring/conservative/lame. She's not into it at all, and actually gets mad at me about it.

Be lucky you have a relationship at all, spoiled fag

That's the dream, my friend. But this boring, conservative, dull bitch isn't into anything like that. :(

The grass is always greener...I envy "lonely" dudes.

cuck detected

why did you marry her?

Oh, I'm not denying that. LOL. I just wish she would get on board.

Accidental pregnancy, kids, "doing the right thing". Fuck my life.

buy her a cage for yourself for labor day

pics of wife

maybe we can halp

yo, i'll do it for you. for free even.

Dumbfuck

>masturbate
>sex takes forever
>don't masturbate
>don't get to masturbate

it's a loose lose with 3DPD user

did you try telling her that you don't really like sex?

GO
FUCK
YOUR
WIFE

...

would bang

post those tits

No. That seems too...mean, I guess. She gets weird, starts asking me "what's wrong", and tries harder to make the sex work. It actually makes it suck that much more. I just don't want it!

...

she have a great ass and boobs
fuck her fag

say you just frigged out you are asexual and she should respect that you dint want sex lol

I wish! I just want us to be cool that I only masturbate and never fuck her. We could even get separate beds and all, like old people. If she'd just accept that, married life would be awesome. LOL

>
Nice bod

...

What do you think would happen if you came out?

She'd pout, and nag me about it, and just generally suck to be around. And guilt trip me all around the goddam home. Basically, the opposite of that "happy wife, happy life" bullshit.

DIVORCE and if no why?

are there any positive aspects to your marriage?

I like my kids. Not worth the hassle of child support, split holidays, weekend dad shit, etc...

Better option would be wife dies.

>Actually gets mad at me bc she doesn't want to have sex with other people

I'd be mad too if i unknowingly married a cuck.

I’ll swap you for my wife who never wants sex.

She looks weird like some european immigrant.

Would not find attractive. Would not bang.

I'd do that trade in a heartbeat! If only...

Good eye! Bitch is German.

Got any more pics?

kill wife? for some $$$ i would do it for you?

You sound like her bitch

Have her start licking your ass or other outright degrading shit to get you in the mood ask her to bring her girlfriends around go about having some likes about them which is something you like try to have her bring her sisters/cousins over often and shell start backing off seeing that your needs are more than she ever thought

...

LOL. I'm a fag...but I'm not quite ready to be a jailhouse fag. Thanks for the offer though.

Nice trips but can see how its trouble double dicking her down ... ahit luck bud

This is a solid strategy. EXCEPT...I've tried to get her to do fun/exciting/downright nasty stuff before. Plenty of times. But she refuses. And then still makes me have her boring, shitty, under the covers missionary sex. Sucks.

The trips make this whole thread worth it.

Lolz

Someone else is doing her freaky side and your just simple simon

Tuff luck
your not really her "MAN"

Aye motherfuckin men
This here is a real man. Nothing else needs to be said. Kudos sir

You sure she's German and not Turkish-German?
She doesn't look like a typical German to me. Maybe she just let herself go after marriage? If so, sorry bro. That's the worst.
She'd probably look 100x better if she lost about 25-30 lbs.

Wouldn't bother me AT ALL. She can fuck every dude she's ever met, for all I care. I just don't want her. I'd rather masturbate my life away.

Definitely...but it has nothing to do with her weight, or attractiveness. Fucking her (or most women) just doesn't interest me. I LOVE to masturbate.

Nah bro just sounds like you have a low sex drive try some pills and youll have more fun

Low sex drive = want to masturbate all the time? I dunno about that. I'm definitely addicted to porn.

Confirmed for you not being her man .... faggot just leave her for everyones benefit

Doesn't benefit me or our kids. Her getting some regular dick elsewhere, and accepting that I don't want to fuck her benefits everyone.

dude if she lost 20 lbs she would be hot!

kek

It could be stress masturbating is a huge stress reliever and a big impact on a lot of couples is stress that keeps them from having intercourse you should try to find a different way to relieve stress

Agreed.

would still do, fuck she is shaved up and ready man!

Dude got any of your cum on her face? I need to mastuurbate

Dropping knowledge! This actually makes some sense in regards to our marriage. Thanks, random stranger.

Any bjs?

Yeah no problem you could thank me by spamming any other pictures of your wife, she does look pretty nice

Ask and ye shall receive.

You need to regain dominance fag.

...

Got more? She doesnt look like she likes cum, that makes it hotter

You might masturbate together.

Got a vid of her taking a load

Any of her riding you? or vids?

She German?

whats her wheight?
just asking for reasons.

Tried that. Try to get her to "take care of herself" all the time. She doesn't like it. Says that she needs the dick.

Yup. How'd you know?

What? A German who isn't into kink? Bullshit! She needs a gang-bang.
>her birthday
>cocaine
>blindfold
>friends waiting in the wings

First initial K.?

Nope. N.

Have you considered divorce? I mean, you're obviously not enough of a real man to make her happy. What she needs is someone that's not a complete bitch. I'll tell you what, I'll fuck your wife for you for $20.

>OP can't masturbate
>OP enables you

god speed you fapping faggot OP

Masturbating together is not taking care of oneself. It's more like mutual exhibitionism.
Go back and try again. This time do it as if your marriage depended on it. And for godssake get an Omax omax.org/ and use it with her. Don't just leave everything up to her, learn how to play.

kek. Thanks!

She has 3 vibrators already! She only uses them after we've fucked though...and only if she doesn't cum from the fucking (She uses them probably 60% of the time).

yeah no my wife is german, as in her mom was born in germany to german parents

both her mom and her are cold sexually. not frigid but just not interested. I actually have OPs perfect m8, she only fucks when I ask. I can go months if I want.

Incidentially OP I find fapping the day after sex (~12 - 24 hours) the second best thing to fapping after two weeks of not. Maybe it's that I *know* there isn't going to be sex for a time maybe because orgasm in the vagoo is just somehow not completely fulfilling although I do like it for what it is.

You need to go down and teach her to live without dick.

>inb4 she doesn't like getting oral because she's mildly disgusted with her cunt

Oddly enough, she actually doesn't like getting oral. And her pussy stinks just enough, that I'm not crazy about giving it.

Jesse?

You'd rather masturbate than have sex? Is she physically repulsive? Are you shit in bed?

Throwback pic.

I still think she's attractive enough. Masturbating is GREAT though. Sex with her is just...really underwhelming. It's old and tired.

she needs to lose that weight

you need to be supportive but firm

maybe you'll want to bang again

again get yourself a cage
give it to her
let her control you
at first she'll just be like tee hee OK fuck me as usual but maybe she'll get the idea and it will develop into something besides vanilla sex
the first time she doesn't unlock you you'll know you've one
seriously what do you have to lose

Found the underlying issue. Your dick is tiny and you're not satisfying her. Buy her a big dildo and she'll stay happy longer.

I don't think it's just her though. Kaley Cuoco (or whoever Sup Forums likes) could walk into my house...and yes, I'd fuck. But then I'd masturbate the next day. And after a few fucks, I'd be bored with Kaley, and right back to stroking as much as possible. I'm assuming.

fuck her in the ass and she will leave you alone

cuz i sure as shit do!

Honestly, not a bad idea. Let's me be a freak, AND also helps to ease off the masturbation. Seriously, best idea on here. Thanks man. I'm gonna give this a shot. For real.

if it works, take pics...for research purposes an follow up.

Even now? LOL

Any more pics since we helped solve your problem?