I just saw the Emoji Movie so you don't have to

I just saw the Emoji Movie so you don't have to.

AMA

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usatoday.com/story/life/entertainthis/2017/07/29/patrick-stewart-talking-poop-emoji-most-non-poopy-thing-the-emoji-movie/522197001/
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Gimme a short summary

Just one question
Why?

Was it worth it

okay, from an entirely neutral and unbiased POV, what did you think of this movie? i get it, emojis are cringey, etc, but that's not a valid complaint of the movie. does it hold up in any way, shape or form, or is it really as bad as people are saying it is? thanks

The main character doesn't know how to keep one emotion so he fucks up on his job and the antagonist sends robots to kill him. He teams up with a "l33t Hax0r" named Jailbreak (With a HACKER FINDING APP) and *comic relief* named Hi-5.

They jump from shameless plugin to shameless plugin including Dropbox, Candy Crush, and Instagram until they confront the antagonist and say "hey gois it's k 2 b different :DDD" and then they all learn how to make multiple faces.


Because me and my friends like to rip on movies but this one was so bad it wasn't fun to rip on.


The movie had a budget of $50,000,000. This movie was such a waste of that amount of money that it would have been less of an offence if T.J Miller took a briefcase filled with $50,000,000 and burned it in front of starving Somalian children...I would rather watch footage of the planes hitting the fucking twin towers for an hour and a half because the planes and the buildings at least have some fucking structure.

I avoided twitter today so I don't have to deal with this shit.
now I see it on Sup Forums.
what is life anymore?

and does the boy protagonist bone that cute chick he's got a boner for?

How old are you and are you proud of what you've accomplished in life so far.

I'm no movie connoisseur, and hell, I even liked Jurassic World, but this movie was the most bland and uninspired piece of garbage ever.

In a better way to put it, there were about 6 kids in the theatre, which had a total population of around 11, and they did not laugh. Once. I heard one ask her mommy if she could go home.

I enjoyed this movie

IDK probably I zoned out near the end. Honestly though if you are planning on drawing R34 of those, you'd have to figure out how to get around the heads many times the size of their bodies.

I'm 19 and honestly I feel worse than when I was scammed by that free iPhone trick when I was 13.

>less of an offence if T.J Miller took a briefcase filled with $50,000,000 and burned it in front of starving Somalian children
>rather watch footage of the planes hitting the fucking twin towers for an hour and a half because the planes and the buildings at least have some fucking structure.
>the planes and the buildings at least have some fucking structure.

Did you know the smiling bitch is played by a jew?

Do you regret spending money on this, specifically contributing somewhat to TJ Miller?

I tried to go into the movie as blind as possible. During one of her first lines where she says "I'm so happy all the time!", my friend leans over and comments that it sounded like she was being held at fucking gunpoint, the acting was so bad.


...Actually she might have been held at gunpoint being forced to make this movie...

An hero

I feel worse spending my money on T.J Miller then knowing that the company I buy my coffee from has forced labour in Kenya

he said the Emoji Movie is a "Feminist Movie" and that it will help bring the end of Trump's administration.

some one make a caption of this i need to save it if no one else does.

Is it worth watching?

I'd rather watch a bullet speeding towards my head

Would you wish this film on your worst enemy?

How bad is the cancer?

I wouldn't wish this on prisoners in fucking
, man...


It represented everything wrong with millennials. It's holding a fidget spinner while dabbing while screaming "YOUR BOI" at the top of your lungs while shopping at Hot Topic.

If you saw it in theatres: What types of people saw the movie?
Like 12 year olds with fidgit spinners or adults with their kids, what was the majority?

>it will help bring the end of Trump's administration
Like assaulting your Uber driver over a conversation of Trump? At this point it's like he's trying to be worse than Seth Rogen, yet still believes he's in the league for political change just because he's in the "entertainment" business. Look what happened to Shia, and he actually made good shit.

Mainly soccer moms with their grade-school children. There were two other people, about my age, who had the same idea as me and my friends, and went there to rip on the thing.

>went there to rip the thing

Ultimately, do you feel defeated and/or disappointed that you went? Like you tried to go there and shit on this movie, but you realized it just shit on itself more than a zoo full of chimps with down syndrome?

Was there any part of the movie you enjoyed or least hated?
Did the audience laugh throughout and leave satisfied or noticably looked jewed

How do you plan on committing suicide after this?

It was fun for like 20 minutes, but then they started saying what we were going to say.
I'm not joking, at one point in the Candy Crush thing, they mention that they can't match Gene with any yellow candies or he'd die, and my buddy leans over to me, but before he can utter a word, Jailbreak says "Even though you look nothing like a candy from this game" and he just sits back in his seat, defeated.


Well a few people wanted refunds, but the best reaction I got was the two people that looked like they'd paid for a Thai hooker but found out they have a dick that would put a horse to shame.

Seppuku with a raw trout

usatoday.com/story/life/entertainthis/2017/07/29/patrick-stewart-talking-poop-emoji-most-non-poopy-thing-the-emoji-movie/522197001/

Another saddening thing I discovered is that Patrick Stewart may be showing signs of dementia or worse.

Wow...
with that all that, I think you got your money's worth.
It sounds like this thing should be on track to have single digit rating from RT.

It sounds worse then cars3, which I snuck in to see after watching Wonder woman, and there was NO ONE in the theater.
And after watching it for... I think... 5 minutes?
even free it wasn't worth watching.

Sounds like it might actually be worse than Pixels

Checked RT. 6%. It's up from 3% before we went in.

Put that in perspective, Cars 2 has a 39%

THIS FUCKING MOVIE IS 13x WORSE THAN CARS 2


Pixels has a 16%. Emoji Movie is ~5 times worse than Pixels

Especially impressive considering the amount of money and manpower studios put into skewing critic ratings

wow... just... wow.
let me see if I can think of worse movies.
OH oh ohhhh

Blood Rayne!

We should all post this on their twatter page.

actually blood rayne is kind of unfair, as it's not neessisarilly a kid's movie.

ummmm... I might suggest one of the various Christian vegitable movies, but.... those have a built in audience, and they could be selling Amway during the movie and still garner a 20% or higher.

My buddy did some research, the movie is expected to make back 20 million on Opening night...on a Friday...Meaning on Opening Day, they will be ~30 million in the hole.

The Adventures of Pluto Nash is also slightly worse, but if you're comparing your movie to the Adventures of Pluto Nash, you need to reconsider your fucking career.

I won't do it myself, too much work, but you have my blessing if you do.

Also nice double dubs

Do it.