ITT times when we were alpha as fuck, I'll start
>be me
>15yo sister in her room dancing to Miley Cyrus songs
>go in there, tell her to shut the fuck up
>she turns volume up and keeps on dancing
>I punch her really hard in the tit
>she starts crying immediately
>I unplug her speakers
>eject CD and throw it across room
>tell her I hope she gets tit cancer
>back to my room
>play My Chemical Romance really loud
>alpha as fuck
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Not alpha.
I once didn't eat all my broccoli even though my mother told me to
That's oretty whiney thing to do OP
The only thing more beta than actually doing this is thinking it is alpha. Go punch another male who is larger than you and see how alpha you are.
Not alpha, more of a cunt
the fuck do you know about anything fucking faggot
>be me
>be 11
>be hyped as fuck to work with black belts for the first time
>hear master say he wants to work on "realistic situations" while sparring
>wonder what the fuck he's talking about
>find out when your 5'8 120 lb ass is going against the largest guy in the dojo (dude is around 6'4 220 lbs)
> start sparring
>move frantically trying to dodge this beast's punches and kicks
>get hit really fucking hard in the stomach
>tears.jpg
>get pissed
>pick self up off of the ground
> superman punch the shit out of the beast's face
>Beast goes down on one knee
>fuckyeah.jpg
>proceed to hit the beast with knees and elbows until the match gets called
>girl i was crushing on in the dojo was watching
>look at her and wink
>alpha as fuck
OP your alpha as fuck. I would have shit my bed and make my mom clean it up while playing MCR in my headphones at a reasonable volume
>be me
>be reading 4chins
>alpha as fuck
True alpha
true samefaggot, also missing the point of the thread entirely
A. not me nigga
B. what then is the point of the thread? i thought that was pretty fuckin alpha.
>what then is the point of the thread?
>OP posts something completely beta
>claims it's alpha
>anons get furious at him
>they are all trolled
does that mean that i can't post some shit that's actually alpha nigga? why don't go jerk it to some dragon lollies. ain't nobody else give a fuck except you.
Started kinda scummy, ended up alpha
>college, at party
>chick talking to me all night
>we go back to house me and some mates are renting out
>she passes right the fuck out before anything can happen
>fucked her lifeless body on the couch, left her naked with no covers, cum still on her stomach
>wake up next morning, she's gone, figure probably doesn't want to talk to me
>comes by the next night asking for me
>"sorry about last night, I was wasted. What are you getting into tonight?"
>"watching tv, drinking a few beers"
>"want some company?"
Ended up smashing again, and several times afterwards, this time awake. I more or less raped her and she came back for more
...
>Not raping her
what a beta
You punched a girl not alpha. If you would have raped her, that's alpha.
I'll take things that never happen, for 600 please.
fag
no thats just edgy
...
I have one story
>be me
>in 8th grade
>walking home with friends after school
>looking at our pokemon cards
>ya i was one of those fags who still liked pokemon in middle school
>some highschooler walks by us
>some highschooler walks by
>hey what pokemon cards do you have
>suddenty hormones
>am angry as fuck for no reason
>whats it too you
>flick his hat
>he pushes me back
>fall down
>INSANEPREPUBESNTRAGE.jpg
>run at him full force and superman punch him in the stomach
>he falls over
> just lies in the fetal position and me and my friends dont know wtf to do
>just decide to run away cause we are scared we will be arrested if a cop sees us
>never see that kid again
>i have lost all sense of anger since that day
>idk what it is but i dont have the ability to get mad
>kids will punch me in the face and i will feel nothing
>i have gotten the shit kicked out of me and all i can do is laugh idk what it is but i uncontrollably laugh
aye nigga you do you the real alphas will stay alpha
I didn't stop for the ambulance when going through a 4-way intersection the other day. Almost got T-boned, but didn't care. Went straight onto the interstate anyway.
not alpha.
sounds like this traumatized you :/
Newfags
Tits or GTFO
>Parents try to ground me
>Bitch im 21 and pay rent, you cant fucking ground me
>Wanna bet? cuts my computer wire
>Call cops and report crime
>ignored
>Cut EVERY wire in the fucking house
>Break every electronic, phones, ipads, laptops etc.
>Half a day in jail, a year of probation.
>worth it
>be me
>16 yrs old
>church camp in north carolina
>family sends me to clean up my godless ways
>fuckthisshit.jpg
>meet tiny redhead w/ absolute perfect body
>learn from campgoers she's a lesbian
>pastors and camp people shun her because muh jeebus says no lezzies
>teach her how to climb trees in the forest around camp
>find out she's never been w/ a guy
>dick so hard i could cut glass
>camp is closed off at dark so guys and gals stay separated
>both sneak out of camp cabins after worship service and wait til dark in the woods
>literally 3 hours of hiding behind trees from rednecks
>at nightfall meet up at the pool
>we take turns playing never have i ever at the shallow end
>she says never have i ever skinny dipped
>gets in water naked, bright red bush and 10/10 tits
>pop best boner of all time, ron jeremy tier
>she says shes never seen one before
>i pull her into me at the pool and she asks to touch it
>proceed to smash for hours at church camp pool
>best sex of my life
That's not alpha,that's psycho.
Fucking kek I don't think I even want to know if this really happened.
Dude i called the cops to report destruction of property, and got them to admit they did it and they called me a spoiled brat. I was like fuck that dude. What kind of bitch would take that.
>pokemon cards
>ya
>still liked pokemon in middle school
-You are not alpha
-You don't know how to spell the word "yeah"
-You are 12 years old and this is an 18+ board
grow up and move out you immature cunt.
never happened
also, church camp
>church camp
Yeah im at my own place rn lol
why do all the neck beard shut-in niggas not believe anything dope that happens offline?
ITT
>be me
>6'3 in 5th grade, Boulder sized muscles and a 7 inch cock
>town rapist tries to bully me
>beat his ass and he cries
>mayor gives me a key to the city and my crush gives me a bj
And
>(insert actually alpha story here)
>no you didn't faggot!!!
here's another classic
>be me
>senior year of HS
>greatest football team in the state
>go 10-0 reg season, but the nigger-tier teams from the inner city are in the playoffs for state champs
>play supernigger team in state semifinals
>superniggers are 11-0, most players already have signed scholarships for college fb
>our coach has pregame locker room speech
>basically tells us we're fucked physically so we gotta be smarter
>howtooutsmartanigger.gif
>be me playing strong safety all game
>dealing w/ superfast niggers so we have to hit low and get violent
>make fucking priceless tackle on 3d down
>knock the shit out of superniggers's star qb
>has to leave game for the quarter
>superniggers refuse to run sweeps
>start muttering about how these white boys is crazy
>win game and win state champ
>go to school for theatre
>see supernigger qb who i decked in HS on television
>plays qb in NFL
>is tajh boyd
>top kek
>Claims to be alpha after developing a criminal record
Enjoy working as a bus driver, grocery bagger, or sales clerk the rest of your life.
Can we see sisters tits?
Lol the best part was when I started talking with my parents again, they were like, "we cant forgive so easily user, we were without internet for like a whole month"
alpha as fuck indeed
>be me
>in line at mcdonalds to get a happy meal with the new hot wheels toy
>its the last one i need to complete my collection
>a boy and his mother are in line too right in front of me
>boy gets a happy meal with the toy car i want
>my turn
>i notice the cashieris staring at my with her eyes full of lust
>"hello m'lady i would like 6 happy meals, 10 orders of nugs and a large diet coke, oh and give me the green car please"
>"oh im sorry honey (she called me honey) that kid took the last green car but i have the blue one if that pleases you" (she still looks at me with lust but i only date 10/10 girls)
>by this moment i am filled with anger
>that fucker took my green car
>go to the place where the kid and his mother are eating
>her mother is hypnotized by my MLP collector edition fedora and my hatsune miku shirt
>she's a 9/10 so i wouldnt bang her
>go to kid and look him in the eyes
>"you got something of mine kid"
>the kid is looking me in the eyes too trying to hide that he's obviously shitting himself in fear
>"i...i dont know what are you talking about"
>im feeling generous today so i try to remain calmed
>you got the last green car and i want it for me
>his mother say "get the fuck away from us!"
>i tell her that is not ok to talk to her soon like that and that i would not bang her so there is no need to tell her son to go away
>"last chance kid give me that car or suffer the consequences"
>her mother says "oh my god im calling the police right now!"
>i tell her that there is no need to do that since he's a kid and that is wrong to call the police on your own son
>"the kid is just sitting there, crying in silence to persuade me to let him keep the car
>im finally done with his bullshit and his lack of cooperation
Then, the judge freaks out on me in court and calls me a spoiled shit, and because of my mental health record, I can get this cleared.
>be me
>have German Shepherd dog
>people kill my dog
>I kill two of theirs
I get arrested and slapped with an animal cruelty charge for drowning two dogs.
Betas like me aren't allowed to be alphas.
no 5th grader works out...5 graders are concerned about POGS and Sega.
Bro, have you never had good church pussy? It's literally a killing field. Everyone's full of fucked up suppressed sexuality and they're all trying to stay virgins but they want the dick. I've probably had more sex with religious girls than non-religious girls, and trust me when I say Jesus keeps em tight.
yeah whatever you say buddy
>be me
>driving car
>coming up to STOP sign
>pull up to STOP sign but don't come to a complete stop
>continue driving along
>alpha as fuck
>"well you got this by yourself"
>"FALCON PUNCH!!!!!"
>i hit him right in his chest
>he falls off his chair and lays in the ground, without moving at all
>"heh nothing personel kiddo"
>take my well deserved reward"
>the mother is crying tears of joy
>take all my food and leave mcdonalds at the same moment two officers enter through the door
>i cant believe the mother did called the cops on her own son lol
>"dont worry bros it is all over" i say
>hear a lot of conmotion inside as i leave
>they are all celebrating my heroic act
>feels good to be and alpha
went to this girl's prom (she was from a different hs and asked me), she was kind of shy and I wasn't too aggressive so we just kissed a bit early in the night, then somehow she and her friends switched dates for a slow dance, i wound up making out with her friend, who was also cute, and very flirtatious. After the prom ended the group (six of us) headed to the beach where I made out with her friend again, then we went back to my original date's house for a sleep over, sometime during the night my date's mother drove home a few of the others and my date went with them, i stayed and my date's hotter sister crawled into bed with me wearing just a t-shirt and panties. It was an awesome night! the next day I was way tired so i just drove home and said goodbye to my date, later the following night we finally spoke on the phone and she calle me"distant". I got off easy.
>mental health record
As mentioned earlier, enjoy working as a bus driver, grocery bagger, or sales clerk the rest of your life.
wimp
>Be me
>Sitting at table, brussle sprouts
>Mom says I can't leave until I eat them
>Fuckthat.jpg
>Sit at table without eating a thing for four fucking hours
>Get hotdog instead
So my 30th birthday wasn't all bad
no green text, didn't read
>be me
>17
>with friend and his girlfriend at her house
>no parents
>we're getting drunk off of Smirnoff
>start playing truth or dare
>dares escalate
>I dare her to show me (us) her titties
>She flashes those bad boys
>my friend is on board with this b/c they haven't really done much more than kiss up til now and he's just as excited
>dares escalate
>she wants to see our cocks, and we oblige
>my dick is pretty big for our age, friend's dick is average or maybe small. I don't remember
>I dare her to have sex with us
>She agrees and starts by sucking my friend's cock while jerking me off
>This goes on for a bit and I am throbbing hard. Friend can't get it up.
>I put my hand on her head and guide her to sucking my cock instead. She switches to jerking off my friend
>I grab her by the neck and guide her into standing up and making out with me
>Friend is basically just jerking off and feeling her ass with the other hand at this point.
>Cutting to the chase, the story ends with me railing my friend's GF while he jerks off
>I acted super douchey too. Asking her if she "liked that big cock", and making her answer in kind that she "loved that big cock"
In hindsight, I was kind of a sociopath as a kid. But whatever. My dad was never around and I watched a lot of violent pornography.
I'm better now.
Omega as fuck
>watching movie at theater
>quiet moment, the whole theater is silent
>loudly crunches on popcorn then burps
true alphas don't follow rules
>hanging out at friends house
>my friend has another 'friend' over
>other friend is a dealer (meth, mdma)
>dealer guy goes to the toilet
>few days later my friends dads extremely expensive watch is missing
>dont know where it could have gone
>friends dad is furious
>weeks later
>smoking at dealers house w same friend
>dealer literally just has my friends dads' watch just fucking sitting there above fireplace
>tell my friend
>we dont say anything
>days later
>wait outside dealers house in car
>wait for him to leave
>go into his house w masks bc we know he has cameras
>smash everything in his house
>steal his tv, xbox, laptop, $860 AUD cash and ofc the watch
>steal his meth
>get away with it
>he can never call the cops because he has so much incriminating shit in his house
idk if youd call it alpha necessarily but w/e
>sucking my friends cock
>making out with me
You basically sucked your friends cock. Not alpha.
>Be me: Fat 36 YO SOB, big fan of MMA but don't train 'cos i'm lazy
>Poorfag
>Wanttowatchufcbutnomoney.jpg
>Saw it, but not paying for it.
So this is my most alpha moment in history
also, we dont smoke meth but we sold that shit
>fuck girl
thats all it takes now
Just being me every day is alpha as fuck. I don't even have to do anything in particular.
I voted for Bernie Sanders.
Only edgy children and frightened confused old people like Trump.
>Out with wife and her friend who digs me
> Drunk guy starts bothering us and hitting on her
> falcon punch dead center of face
>down like a sack of potato
> piss on his body get 2 blowjobs at apartment
if you want more I got them
if you didnt someone else would have. Probably the dealer.
Fuck me senapi
>be me
>mom says you have you move out, you're 37
>I say, "No."
>alpha as fuck
>too edgy to be alpha
>mcr
Cmon man. you don't admit to liking MCR. it's like fucking fat chicks, you can do it but never admit it to your friends
I voted for Trump because I'm not a bottom-feeding liberal hippie like you. Work hard to earn hard.
Fuckin A nigga. Those trips are alpha as fuck too.
t. high school
>implying this matters
>implying any of this matters
Oh shit!
Fucked 5 girls in one day.
>Be me
>Go to starbucks
>Talk to girl with green hair and many piercings about feminism and the coming marxist revolution
>See obvious shitlord talking to his GF on phone.
>He calls her darling
>Seeing red
>Proceed to lecture him on misogyny, toxic masculinity and patriarchy
>He brushes me off and throws his empty coffee in bin, ignores me and walks away
>I'm now seething.
>He discarded my opinions like rubbish in Bin
>Bin becomes symbol of toxic Patriarchy and capitalism
>Wait til G20 comes to town
>Join with 100 similar minded revolutionaries dressed in black
>We all attack the bin, We smash it, destroy symbol of Toxic Patriarchal Capitalism.
>Set bin on fire.
>Go home to parents house feeling great having smashed Rubbish Bin, Symbol of everything wrong.
>Alpha as Fuck
u showed them
>look at her and wink
One time, I went to McDonald's after the wrestling show, and I ordered a medium size coke but they gave me large instead at no additional cost.
>voted for Bernie Sanders.
kek, hows that working out for you faggot
Not so well but the high numbers of beta Trumpcucks in the country isn't my fault.
kill yourself
First, that is not alpha. Hell, that's even below beta. Second here is what alpha REALLY is.
>be me at age 12
>during my moderately religious phase
>church I was in had bus system to pick up kids
>had a junior in high school that would bully me on the bus
>he was a good 6 to 8 taller than me and out weighed me by about 120 lbs
>no the kind of person to resort to violence by mere words
>one day he decides while sitting behind me to punch me in the back of the head
>turn around, smiling to make him think that I thought he was just joking
>without warning I right hook him in the temple
>watch him crumble in his seat
>my smile never left my face
>wait for him to sit up and give him another right hook to that poor temple
>crumbles in his seat again
>rinse and repeat about 4 more times before the head youth minister politely asks me to stop
>turn around and sit back in my seat still smiling
>needless to say he stopped bullying me after that
>actually went out of his way to be nice to me
THAT'S being alpha
start a gofundme so I can donate to your college fund that Bernie was going to pay for
>ate a entire box of popeyes biscuits
>no drink
>ALPHA AF!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Had a beautiful, badass Aussie shitposter gf in a job where I was respected and on the fast track to becoming the best version of myself humanly possible then fucked it up royally due to residual beta tendencies
Luckily the urge to off myself is lessened but damn man bitch has the keys to my fucking soul
don't know about OP but at least we're not a fag like you ;)
I kill bins not revolutionaries Pissbaby!
>my chemical romance
>alpha as fuck
Fuck off summercunt
HOLY FUCKING AUTISM
Are you talking about voting in the primaries?
Bernie wasn't even on the general election ballot....Hillary was the Democratic nominee.
>be me
>lose virginity at 29
>well, not really, but someday
>optimistic attitude
>alpha as fuck
bait not taken
That's just dumb as fuck.
Hitler trips
Im guessing ur the kind of guy who doesnt kiss the girl after a bj
U fucking beta