Alright Sup Forums tell your most embarrassing stories involving women

Alright Sup Forums tell your most embarrassing stories involving women.

One time in high school a girl dumped me because her ex gave her a bag of cheetos and a button.

AHaha what? Please explain.

clearly alpha

Yes please explain the bumps

Did she give you a reason?

all of them

When I was in high school a girl told her friends and other people she liked me. So an entire day I was being told she wanted to hook up. I said fuck no I'll never get with her. She was a disgusting hairy hambeast.

Cut to the following year and there's this cute girl I'm my health class. She was actually gorgeous as fuck. I ask her out after becoming friendly with her. She says no, she'll never let that happen.

I find out from a friend that I got the name of the girl who liked me mixed up with another. The gorgeous chick wanted to go out with me an I shit talked her thinking she was someone else. What could have been...

i can top that.

None of them.

...

Kek. Bitch should have gotten over it.

I wasn't a virgin but quite inexperienced when I fucked my girlfriend for the first time and she was clearly quite experienced.

It was brertty bad I could tell she hated it and questioned the relationship but she ended up teaching me the ways over the course of 3 years.

Surprise surprise she turned out to be a great huge slut but we fucked every day for 3 years and quite confident I'm a pretty good lay. Any broad I sleep with always wants to back for more so....

I once pooped my pants for the little girl next door. We were both 3 years old and she thought I was disgusting. I still worry about what I did.

I married one so

Sex?

>be me desperate for pussys while summer
>learn this 42yo widow, 7/10 body, 10/10 style (as for soft brown creative leather), 5/10 face
>chat to her for 1 week, she decides to come to my town take a hotel and meet up with me
>wait desperately for the day, make decisions etc
>go near to based hotel and sit at the park
>get roasted under the sun for 3 hours
>keep messaging 42yo bitch
>finally she texts that she's almost there
>i go closer to the hotel building
>user im just parking around the corner will be there in less than 2 min
>excited
>ex girlfriend shows up
>oh shit no no no go away
>rocker chick, red hair, sidecut, big ass glasses small face, oversized black tank top, cool as fuck but too sarcasticly and ruthless bitch the same time lol
>yooo user long time no see what's up
>i look around while talking to her trying to ignore her
>she doesn't leave
>"HELLLLOOOOOO" with a childish voice behind us, we both turn around
>42yo old milf
>short jeans dungarees, pink crop top, pink high heels, more pink jewelry
>implying she tried to fit me with her stupid hip hop girly look with her age
>feel embarrassed as fuck
>ex gf knows whats up, she nods with a laughter,,
>oh okkkeyy...
>leaves

that bitch blew me while her daughter called her on the phone saying that her horse injured its ankles or something atleast
i still feel embarrassed lol

I'm not exactly embarrassed about it but it sucks...
Twice this summer I could have gotten laid with two different girls but I was too drunk to keep it up. I'm not really experienced either so it was a mad let down. I still fingered/ate them out though.

What's bad about this?

I was once getting sucked off and accidentally said "mom" loudly. That was the end of that.

>be me again but not so desperate anymore lol
>fuck a good bitch for around 2 weeks
>goodlife
>walk around the city, weekend and many ppl
>group of girls at the center of the square
>one girl in sexy as jersey, real short jeans..stretching her 10/10 booty out teasing the cab drivers
>they must be drunk
decide to sneak up there and talk to her
>bc polygamy who cares
>try to talk to that semendemon
>short haired little troll girl cuts my way
>ewww pls go away
>thinking she must be jealous bc noone would talk to her but to that sexy goddess
>what's wrong buddy im just trying to say hi
>well i know who you are and we don't like you
>thinking that it's one of my bad behavings in clubs or something
>well who am i ? tell me go ahead smartass
>smiling confidently
>little troll says
>don't you remember me ? you spoke to me 2 years ago and wanted my number
>my name is (something )
>me : so ? i don't remember im sorry
>then you kept sexting me that day and asked me to stick your tounge in my butt
>the whole clique looks at me
>find exuses
>well fuck this shit...what you talking bout...that's long time ago....i don't remember
>btfo from that spot and decide not to do fucked up shit anymore

i was like 25 and she 42....the way she was dressed was really awfull...she significantly looked old as fuck in her face...the body was good though...
she tried to match my "look" thinking that i would like it if she dressed up like a 14 year old lol

>be me
>Be roomates with cute slut
>Constantly jerk off to the sounds of her getting fucked
>one night ear pressed against her door
>Jerking hard
>Door opens
>fall into her room dick and hand
>both laugh
>ded inside ever since

>have a landwhale roommate
>She makes it known she has a crush on me
>Too much pride to date
>Anytime I struck out at the bar she'd blow me
>Her BJ's, even to this day, 10 years later are fucking goat
>She's a really nice girl, total wife material but she's so far I'm embarrassed to be seen with her
>Fuck around off and on throughout college whenever I'm between gf's.
>I end up getting her pregnant
>So she tells everyone I'm the father
>Embarrassed/10

Luckily she was so fat she was too unhealthy to support the pregnancy. I wish she was like 100lbs lighter she was awesome to be around and nurturing as fuck. But then again she was likely only like that because it's the only way she could get a man and if she was lighter would probably be a bitch.

Honestly it doesn't doing that bad. You still got to fuck.

right landwhale ?
looks acceptable actually

be 16
went out with this slut who had been fucking since she was 14
not a virgin, but only had sex a couple of times and still afraid to raw dog it
she wants to fuck in my car so she climbs on top
no condom
as soon as my dick slips in i ak afraid to cum
tell her to get off im going to cum
dont cum
proceed to beat off in front of her for 15 minutes while she looks on im boredom
cum all over the place and realize how pathetic that was
drive home
never see her again

How are any of those land wales? the right one is just chubby, virgins spotted

every time i post, the thread dies

I had sex in the missionary position.

according to OP
i said she looks ok

You're going to make it bro.

Lied about dating and having sex with a chick for 2 months. She found out, everyone thought I was a creep gg

The one on the right and this is after she got a lap band and lost about 75lbs but she's married now so....