Share some funny greentext stories!

Share some funny greentext stories!

kek

kek

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bump

This isn't Sup Forums or green text, but its still somewhat funny and thought I'd share it.

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kek

if only i knew what a dragon dildo is

look it up pussy
nice dubs btw

>be me
>28 year old kissless virgin
>turned down sex a couple times, not sure why
>match with 6/10 on tinder
>message her chat and shit
>she goes to my school but i'm a grad student and she's undergrad
>we both study the same shit so easy to to talk to her
>ask gril out, she says yes
>success.png
>coffee at starbucks on campus
>talk with gril for like 4 hours srsly
>first date so am unsure of when to end it
>gril is easy to talk to, maybe because she's not a 10/10 i dunno
>eventually she ends the date
>we make plans for next date, seems like she's into it
>baseball game, i buy the tickets
>mfw she texts me and says she would rather not go that day because of exams
>tell her i already bought the tickets and she's like lol sorry ignore that message
>mfw i text her for her address the next day and she doesn't answer
>mfw i went to the game alone and my team won but still feelsbadman.wav

I found a better quality one.

pics of the chick

i don't have any i only have her profile saved on tinder.

Anyone have the greentext of the guy who accidentally came all over a burglar's face?

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im fucking dead

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no, the quality is still shit tier.
the resolution, however, is much much better!

KEK

fucking kek

>be me
>just turn 30 years old last night
>work 3 jobs taking care of sick brother
>one job is managing the banks at a nightclub
>everyone knows its my birthday
>they throw party at a neighboring club "in honor" of me knowing full well I am at my work thinking it would be funny/
>end of night rolls around, rest of staff goes to party at other club, im left to clean up and count the money.
>get home 4 hours later than normal
>get on /b deciding which caliber to use.

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If you want to go out with a actual "BANG!" 50. would be good.

lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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those are pricey rounds. i got, 45, 40, 38 and some 22 tracer rounds which could be entertaining.

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.

Part one

so post it

Part two

zozzle

hes a lying fag

old but gold
cracks me up every time

10mm, So you know. Go out with style

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why would i lie about an embarrassing story?

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Tinder girls almost always flake on ya, no need to be ashamed.

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>.oiloncanvas

That's all it took for me.

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>the destination is at ham
kek

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idied

Bump

that fucking deer kek

bumpy cum

bump

Bump

bump #34

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who waits with an ONS until morning wtf?

bump

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Your fault, you bought the tickets before even asking if she was available then

Classic

your team won user, thats what matters in the end-season

actually no i didn't. i did ask if she was available and she said yes. i just bought the tickets later that day because i didn't want to miss out on good seats.

anyway, she obviously wasn't interested in me but she didn't have the guts to say it, even through a text message. so that's why i felt bad about it.

i understand why a girl would avoid turning down a date in person but i don't get why she would avoid doing it through texting. i don't know where she lives or her last name or anything. what is she afraid of?

Holy fucking kek

Anyone got that night with Alex Jones story? Was gonna download it from the thread last night but fell asleep.

underrated post