Luke, did I ever tell you I'm only 47 years old?

Luke, did I ever tell you I'm only 47 years old?

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starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Obi-Wan_Kenobi
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Water
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Chair
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Breast
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Duck
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Most_comfortable_chair_ever_designed
youtube.com/watch?v=A7RNSecaI_4
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>Luke, did I ever tell you how hard it was to beat a disabled reptile with lung cancer who wasn't even a jedi? At the end I just shot him.
>And he was a good friend.

He was around 40 in RotS

I'm 47 and I still look like a teenager

No he was like 30. And there were 17 years between ROTS and ANH

yeah no

>around 20-25 in TPM
>arounf 30-35 in AOTS
>33-38 in Sith
>52-55 in ANH
also more likely than not the oldter of the 2 each time except for maybe TPM

Except he clearly looks like he's in his sixties in OP's pic

He was 57.

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Obi-Wan_Kenobi

Also, his home planet was Stewjon.

So why didn't Vader ever go visit his relatives back home? Maybe kill more sandniggers?

>implying spending years in war then being forced into solitude away from anyone you ever knew because you were being hunted down wouldn't add 10 years of stress on a person

Vader visited the sand nig- im mean, sand people to kill them on the anniversary of his mother's death.

>Luke, did I ever tell you about Darth Maul? He was Sheev's apprentice before Dooku and Vader that used a double-bladed lightsaber. He fought against my master Qui-Gon on Naboo, and managed to kill him. Fortunately, even though I was still a Padawan I managed to cut him in half by taking advantage of the fact that he didn't know how to use the High Ground. However, it turned out that his hate somehow allowed him to survive getting cut in half and falling down a bottomless pit, and he somehow managed to escape from Naboo and become a cyborg spider on some other planet. Years later, during the Clone Wars, his brother Savage Opress found him and upgraded his cyborg legs. They went on a rampage across the Galaxy, trying to get revenge both on me and his former master Sheev. It's such a pity that he never told anyone that Sheev was a Sith Lord, that would have saved us a lot of trouble. They eventually took over Mandalore and killed the only woman I had ever loved right in front of me. After that I kind of lost track of him, not sure what became of him. I hope he's doing well, he was a good friend.

This

what's up Ralph?

>AOTS

wut

>Stewjon

BRAVO LUCAS
R
A
V
O

L
U
C
A
S

you know I meant AOTC

>Luke did I ever tell you about the time your father killed a bunch of children with a fucking lightsaber?
They were good friends

>Stewjon
>not jews

what could it mean

Why can humans come from multiple planets but aliens can only come from one?

I fucking love these threads

>Luke did I ever tell you about the time your father killed a bunch of children with a fucking lightsaber?
>Here, he told me he wanted you to have it after I threw him in a river of molten lava. This lightsaber was a good friend

>Luke, did I ever tell you that your father built this protocol droid when he was 9 years old and was your mother's servent throughout the clone wars but had his mind wiped so he conveniently wouldn't remember any of it or recognise me and I could pretend I'd never met him before. He was a good friend.

>Snake did I ever tell you about time your father shot up a cage full of niglets?
>he was a good friend

Luke did I ever tell you about the time your father wasted dozens of innocent children? They posed no threat to him, they loved and trusted him, and he mercilessly slaughtered them all without hesitation. I'm telling you this on the off chance he tries to redeem himself in any future encounters, you need to remember he is a childkiller and nothing he does could possibly make up for that in any reasonable way. He was a good friend.

Luke, did I ever tell you the legend of Darth Plagueis? He possessed abilities some considered... unnatural.

Such abilities could be learned, but not from a good friend.

Do you fuck teenagers

This is a picture of me just 10 years ago. Time has not been a good friend.

>Luke, did I ever tell you that I'm a little rusty in my star wars and would like for you to explain this meme to me. You'd be a good friend

Autismpedia states he was 57 in Ep4 tho

Did R2 have his mind wiped too? I only remember this being done to C3PO.

I'm sure there's a piece of EU that explains it as time dilation due to travelling at light speeds or whatever

Worrying everyday allday about what's in the bushes of love tends to add a few years tho

*20

He was 38 in ROTS and there are 19 years between the 2.

Doctors hate him!

So do his parents

I'm 22 and look like I'm 40.

He was 57 and living in a desert for 19 years would make anyone look like shit past the age of 30.

Kek. Star wars is so retarded

>Luke, did I ever tell you these were your father's droids? We went on wild adventures together for over 3 years in the Clone Wars, and the little one even saved me from a swarm of buzz droids, yet I somehow don't recognize them anymore. They were good friends.
>Luke, did I ever tell you that while your father was training on Coruscant, C-3PO served your family (Uncle Owen, Aunt Beru, Grandma Shmi, Grandpa Cliegg) for nearly 10 years? Somehow, your uncle didn't recognize Threepio when he returned to family's service.
>Hey Luke, did I ever tell you that all Jedi used to dress like homeless moisture farmers the same as I do, despite that still dressing like a Jedi is no good way to hide from Empire? It was a good robe though.
>Come here, Luke, today we will be training with this practice droid while you wear this helmet to blindfold yourself. You would think this was an impromptu training procedure, but no, we did this to younglings all the time and even built them special mini helmets. Right now you are literally worse than a child, Luke, like the ones your father killed with that lightsaber you are holding. He was a good friend.
>You must go to Dagobah, Luke, and seek out Yoda, the Jedi Master who trained me — well, actually, he's A Jedi Master who trained me. Before I moved up to Liam Neeson's service, I was one of the 20 younglings who went to Yoda's class every tuesday and thursday back in youngling school inbetween Jedi chemistry class and lunchtime. Nothing remarkable or mystic to our relationship at all. He was just my teacher who handed out droids and youngling-sized helmets to the class. Also, all his deep seemingly spur of the moment lessons and teachings from a true master are all fairly common Jedi sayings that he just butchers with his ghetto way of talking. A good friend, he was.

Alzheimer's.

>it was a good robe
Lost

>Luke wait, did i ever tell you about gravity? Gravity was the attraction between two bodies, dependent on their masses and the distance between them! Luke!

I don't think he did, they say something like "wipe the protocol droid's memory".

Which is weird because apparently people can understand R2, or C3PO can at least, which makes R2 a bit of a dick for not telling anyone.

>Come here, Luke, today we will be training with this practice droid while you wear this helmet to blindfold yourself. You would think this was an impromptu training procedure, but no, we did this to younglings all the time and even built them special mini helmets. Right now you are literally worse than a child, Luke, like the ones your father killed with that lightsaber you are holding. He was a good friend.
Bravo, Lucas

mass is the plural of mass

>Luke, did I ever tell you about Dexter Jettster and his 1950s themed space diner? He was a good friend.

trips of truth

Watch out for that vicious bounty hunter Boba Fett, Luke. Did I ever tell you I fought his dad? He was hired to assassinate a senator me and your father were guarding. We kept bringing her around open windows and public areas in order to draw the would-be assassin out because we knew he had too much pride to just shoot her from long range. He had used his payment to hire another bounty hunter to kill the senator for him while he sent us on a wild bantha chase. Also the 2nd assassin used her payment to buy a robot to assassinate the senator for her. Did I mention the 2nd assassin was a shapeshifter? She could have been a good friend in disguise and just shot the senator for all we knew! Then the robot used its payment to buy poisonous bugs to release into the senator's room while she slept after lasering a hole through the window. It could have just lasered her too after that because we we weren't watching her at all, but it already bought the bugs. So we sense the hostile life forms (not the robot) in the room and rush in and save the senator in the nick of time! Then I jumped out the window to chase the robot back to its owner! Luckily it didn't have a self-destruct function. Then we found the 2nd assassin and chased her across the planet, and caught her when she tried to kill us instead of shapeshifting and escaping. But to our surprise, Jango Fett was watching the whole thing instead of going to kill the senator while we were away chasing the bugs chasing the robot chasing the shapeshifter. He shot her with a poisonous dart instead of sniper blaster, and only her instead of shooting all of us or blowing all of us with a rocket or something, then he escaped with his tiny jetpack. Luckily for the senator, my good friend Dexterr Jettster owned a 50s dinner on Courscant that had Republic secrets on the menu along with cheeseburgers and malt shakes. We found the assassin and Mace Window killed him later, right in front of Boba. And he was a good friend.

>Luke, did I ever tell you about my good friend Elan Sleazebaggano? He was a drug dealer who sold people illegal death sticks.
>It was good shit.

how can humans be on all continents but a lot of animals only one?

>Luke, did I ever tell you about Elan Sleazebaggano? He was a good friend.

>muh original eicosalogy saga, but didn't have time to complete it meme

10/10 btw user

Alec Guinness was a well-known bisexual.

Do you think he molested Mark Hamill?

>...and a good informer

how does this guy have less of a backstory than that fucking tower guard

Jay, Did I ever tell you about the television and film board that stole my bit? They were good shitposters

This can't be real.

>Sleazebaggano
>he is what you might describe as a sleazebag
I can't handle the pottery

>C3PO hears that he is to be memory-wiped
>panicked to hysteria at the thought of his entire self being erased from the universe he reaches out and grabs a blaster from a nearby guard
>after gunning down three others, he is tackled to the ground
>he tries to fight back but his body, built for protocol has no strength or dexterity
>as the inevitability that his worthless body will not save his treasured mind and memories, he begins to scream
>he screams in a thousand different languages at once
>he only stops screaming when the wipe is done

Does George Lucas have Autism ?

>creating a page just for him

There are probably paragraphs in it too, about his childhood and how he never had any stable parental figures, which would lead to his life of drug dealing until Obi-Wan came along and turned him around, and afterward he opened a flooring store that would be one of the main suppliers for the empire's death star project, and how he would work closely with the empire in general. Fucking star wars, man.

His home is a planet full of sand. His feelings on sand are well established.

Which tower guard?

You have no idea

"no"

yes, and Jabba the Hutt's page is probably about how Jubba funded Tattoine's pod-racing team with deathstick money, meetin a tragic death at the hand of pararepublican troops led by Han Solo.

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Water
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Chair
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Breast
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Duck

>Mace Window

lmao

hot

Luke, this lightsaber is an elegant weapon for a more civilized age. This weapon is your life. Did I ever tell you about how your father used it to behead dozens of jedi younglings and massacre a village full of sand people, who marched in single file to hide their numbers? I cut off all his limbs and left him to die. He was a good friend.

Bravo George. What a rich, evocative universe you've created.

pararepublican troops aided by Coruscant's intelligence services might I add

step up family

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Most_comfortable_chair_ever_designed

>Stewjon
Fun fact: Star Wars was originally a comedy about a young dishwasher "Jon" who wanted to become a chef at a famous stew place. His mentor says to him "Use the Stew, Jon!" in the final scene. Obi Wan's home planet's name in Star Wars is a reference to this

>large enough to accommodate Leia Organa's body

Ralph from Howard Stern?

>Ducks aren't canon

>kill a dozen innocent children
>end up in heaven

what did george mean by this?

SW is set a long long time ago so ducks haven't come into being yet.

Fucking idiot. Star Wars was originally supposed to be a political satire and Luke Skywalker was set to be played by Jon Stewart. When he landed the gig with the Daily Show they had to cut the deal, so Lucas added the planet Stewjon in tribute.

There's no after life. When you die your soul dissipates. Force Ghosts are just them telling nature to fuck off so they can live longer.

>starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Duck
>Designation: Non-sentient

Then how could Marka Ragnos possess Tavion when Tavion picked up his staff thousands of years after his death?

That's not how time dilation works.

>The name of Obi-Wan Kenobi's homeworld was coined by George Lucas, the creator of Star Wars. At the Celebration V convention in Orlando, Florida, comedian and talk-show host Jon Stewart interviewed Lucas, and Stewart asked for the name of Obi-Wan Kenobi's home planet. Lucas jokingly replied that it was "Stewjon," a tuckerization of Stewart's name.[2] The official StarWars.com Encyclopedia entry on Obi-Wan Kenobi later listed Stewjon as Kenobi's homeworld.[1]

Luke did I ever tell you how your adoptive parents are being burned to a crisp as we sit here talking? I was a good friend.

no, Ralph Macchio

>chair
>there is a list of chair appearances in star wars media
>this list is incomplete

Arabs don't look that bad when they're 60+ after living in the desert for their entire lives.
Jedi also can use the force to heal themselves and prolong their life... Like Yoda.
Also it's the SW universe - surely there's some kind of fucking cream for wrinkly skin.
It's a simple fuckup on Lucas's part.

>Luke, did I ever tell you about your father? He and I fought in the Clone Wars.
One time we were forced to fight giant bugs and boars on Mars. When Yoda, all the Jedi and CGI Stormtroopers showed up we kicked those bugs asses. We shot down their giant ball shaped ships, where Anakin wanted to save your hot mom instead of ending the war. Then we got our asses handed to us by a 90 year old ex Jedi.

>He was a good friend.

20. The Empire lasted for 20 years.

In the SW universe droids have regular mind wipes to stop them from realizing that they are basically slaves

you kenobi-posters are winning the internet right now

No. A mass vs several masses.

Look up pictures of 60 year old arabs.

Yoda didn't use the force to "prolong his life." His species just lives much longer than humans, and he looked like shit in case you didn't realize that.

Maybe tatooine is a shithole of a planet that doesn't have all the good cosmetic shit you could ever want in all the stores.

>The Empire lasted for 20 years
it didn't
it's 19 between ROTS and ANH, and roughly about 4 or 5 between ANH and ESB and finally about 1 between ESB and ROTJ

youtube.com/watch?v=A7RNSecaI_4
>He was a good friend

Tattooine has two suns, so double the UV damage to his skin and hence acclerated ageing. Also, the fact that his apprentice destroyed the jedi order and he failed to kill him also probably aged him

Doesn't mean double the luminosity at all.

MAYBE OBI-WAN JUST HAD SHITTY SKIN OK

No.
A mass.
Several masseses (when it's possible to count them.)
Massa (when the number is not countable.)
Massii (when the number is infinite.)
Masseves (when uses in physics equations.)