The fuck do I do b. I left my glass door open upstairs and I heard a weird laugh and footsteps...

The fuck do I do b. I left my glass door open upstairs and I heard a weird laugh and footsteps. I live alone and I'm too much of a pussy to check it out.

Other urls found in this thread:

howtogetagun.ca/
youtu.be/hqIsc8ooXug
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

An hero before they rape you

go investigate

>doesn't own a gun for self defense
Cmon OP. You deserve to be raped

Start jacking off. Guarantee they'll leave

I live in Canada so the best I have is this crowbar I'm hiding with under the stairs.

kill them

OP dead yet?

im too much of a pussy i dont want to move or even breath too loudly also i just heard glass shattering

Start yelling random shit like "POTATOES ARE PURPLE, CUCUMBERS ARE BLACK, BERNIE SANDERS CAN SUCK MY CRACK!1!1!11" ... And things like ''PEE PEE POO POO, I WANT MOO MOO''

Get naked

gonna have to steal that picture

Have you got a mask ? This helps to face people when you are afraid trust me and you'll scare them i garantee !

autism intensifies

I've got a plague doctor mask made of paper mache and bondo

Run out naked, it might actually work

This will do the trick then ! You can brave any danger with the mask !

nigga why you got daipers if you live alone

Start jerking off furiously, when intruder comes to rape u, blow your load in his eyes then slap him in the nuts.

nigger stealing my reaction pic

Ive decided to crawl into a plastic box and wait for whoever is upstairs to leave. i have the mask and crowbar in case shit happens

>hasnt constructed an illegal potato gun for home defense
Either way OP.. barricade yourself and call the poleez if you think someone else is there

storage box from moving out, i put all the shit i dont use under the stairs

Just go get your gun. You'll be fine.

You do have a gun, right?

...

I live in Canada and I own a gun.

>I live in Canada so the best I have is this crowbar I'm hiding with under the stairs.

You have to hurry if they didnt already steal something

howtogetagun.ca/

...

Trips confirms.

...why the fuck havent i called the police yet

...

You're not a Canadian. You're an American pretending to be a Canadian to justify not owning a firearm.

>we have guns too dipshit.

Just run upstairs at full speed with a crowbar while screaming "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU NIGGERS AAAAAAAAAAAAA" that should do the trick

...

Calm down there, colonel.

dem trips

THERE WAS A KNOCK ON THE DOOR TO THE STORAGE ROOM THE FUCK DO I DO

At least it's better than waiting for them in a box

l
Do this v

I believe in u

Say "Allah akbar" then youre good to go kill some infidels with god at your side!

Burst out the bitch and start wailing

ayy nigga i said run out there naked niggas aint gon touch a white ass dick

Plot twist: Op has a dog

bruh you're fucked if this dude's strapped

so, i found out what the sound was. my mum came to visit and she let herself in. i ran out of the room with the plague mask and a bedsheet covering the rest of my body with the crowbar. I haven't had any visitors in over a year so i thought i was gonna get murdered. I was almost hoping that something interesting was finally happening in my extremely boring life.

Lube up your asshole while you still have chance user

bait

This is gold.
What was her reaction?

...

She's concerned

Expected you to get murdered... but at least did you kill your mother ? Injuries ?

i made her jump...

am i beyond saving?

I am really disapointed

You're not OP, he previously wrote with proper caps

Real OP was kill holy shit

i was on my phone earlier, it has autocorrect

user is now bludgeoned to death and the killer saw the phone, but being a killer he was familiar with the 4channeries and decided to cover his tracks by posting as OP.

Smart fella. We're all fucked lads.

Yes

guess i should kill myself now

Funny story here
>Be me, not someone else
>8+ yrs old
>Live in communist apartment building
>Summer vacation
>Cool sunny morning 9am
>Parents at work, nanny with lil sis strolling outside
>Home alone, get market
>Proceed to beat meat even though I didn't know about cummies
>As usual routine stick my penon in between sofa cushions, rubbing around on everything while having a picture from a world atlas book of an anatomical figure of woman close by
>Suddenly knocking at door
>Panic! at the Disco
>Gather evidence faster than Crash Bandicoot saying "Whoah!"
>Good thing I keep key in the lock
>Look through visor, nothing
>Whatever.webm
>Watch cartoons, relaxing with my peen on my hands
>LOUD bangs on door thinking some angery man was outside
>I'm home alone I don't want angery man come kill me
>Silently go to door so he doesn't hear me
>Visor empty
>WhatTheHell?mp4
>On my way to bed stopped by kitchen and proceeded to take knife, meat cleaver, rolling pin, bone axe, whole arsenal.
>Mildly panicked
>Sitting cozily in my bed watching TV with the kitchen cutlery beside me
>BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG then hear what it sounds like door opening
>Heart drops in pants
>Take knife in one hand, bone axe in other
>Peek in the hallway to see who broke in
>WAT
>Door closed
>Is it in the kitchen.avi
>Slowly move near kitchen entrance and peek
>Whole time I feel so scared that a man with a knife will jump me and disect me
>Nothing in kitchen
>What the fuck is going on
>Look through visor
>A piece of wood was moving up and down instantly scared me that it would go through visor and then through eye.
>Duck
>Hear some very weird sounds outside but no knocking
>Look again
>Fucking cleaning lady was mopping the building hallway and her ape brain was hitting the mop stick in apartment doors when she got close to edge instead of switching position.
>Realise I'm idiot
>Put arsenal back in kitchen drawer
>Hold my peen in my hand and watched cartoons until nanny returned

>market
Naked

Did op kill himself yet?

Play this really loud: youtu.be/hqIsc8ooXug

That might scare them off.

Op is enjoying a warm plate of waffles and is definitely not in multiple pieces

some niggers , couldnt you recognize the nig voice. if it wasnt a nig voice they are just some kids and would spook easily.

>lol living around niggers and not having a gun, its like living out in the sticks with out bear protection.
You know what the deal is when they are niggers

canada, 50% non white, muslim foothold of north america. to kek. you are a deadman user walking.