Well lads, I got caught on a secret security cam fapping at work, game over, AMA before I get V&

Well lads, I got caught on a secret security cam fapping at work, game over, AMA before I get V&

what is
kermit the frog -ing lion sewer slide

How do you know they caught you?

committing suicide

if you say so

what did you fap to?

I'm kermiting sewer slide

where does the lion fit in?

Only kill yourself if you were fapping to cp otherwise it's all good. it was a wank who gives a fuck.

committing lion suicide
> pics?

Boss told me about the secret security cam after they caught another employee napping in the area it's in.
A webm on It wasn't pizza

what this user said. Just because there was a camera doesn't mean anyone will actually look at the footage

its from the play lion K-ING. Im kermit-ing-sewer slide.

Im committing suicide

ING is a bank. The lion is their symbol.

They are going over all footage for the last year.

But there's already an ING written there, so it's redundant.

You'll be fired at worst. You don't go to jail for fapping at work.

fapping at work is not illegal. But you will be fired. Live with it, get another job, don't do it again.

Whats your job?

Do you think this experience will create shame while masturbating even in private, or give you a certain thrill knowing someone could be watching you masturbate because of the embarrassment?

What's your job and what were you fapping to?

Mention that fapping is technically a more productive thing to do at work than sleeping, since you're still on the computer and can tab to your work duties at any time.

Did that other employee get fired?

Are you sure, like 1000% sure?
Any way to weasel out of it and keep my job?
Classified.
It kind of turns me on in a weird way
Classified and a webm on True.

Yes, canned on the spot.

>classified
Yup. You were a school teacher. It's a surprise it's not on the news. The school probably doesn't want the attention. Oh well. Have fun in jail and never masturbate near children again

"finally got footage of that guy fapping. i was starting to think he might not be normal. we can give him that promotion now."

My job does not involve working near children in any way, shape, or form.

It is a government job though.

Are you Trump?

Well, you're probably fucked then in terms of keeping your job.

>Are you sure, like 1000% sure?
Well, it can depend on whether your work happens on public or private property, and whether or not your job involves kids. I assumed an office environment, but a school might be different.

Still, even if it's a minor sexual offense it's unlikely that they'll press charges. But they'll definitely fire you under those circumstances. At like a tech job or something though I could see you maybe getting away with it.

Then you're an idiot. Especially if you work in any sort of federal department or agency. You're monitored constantly in those places. But, you already knew this was idiotic, so you don't really need me to tell you.

They would monitor everything you do on the computer, I think. They wouldn't even need security cameras to know you were fapping.

Where in the building were you fapping?


>remember a job I got after I dropped out of college
>overnite security
>used to steal the hot girls name tags off their coat hook
>fap on the picture of their face
>put it back when done

Yeah I was a cool guy back then

Kermit-ing
Sewer-slide
?
Is this like the bond-burger-thing?

No
I don't work with kids and the area is nearly 100% closed off from public view.
I know i'm an idiot
Again, closed off area

Are you an elected official?

>Again, closed off area
Be a little more specific.
An office, a hallway, the cafeteria?
In your janitor closet?

"I'm committing bank suicide" still doesn't make sense.

Now we know why "Mooch" got fired.

kek

Have you tried telling them you knew it was on camera and you were testing security protocols to determine alertness levels, and that it was a prosthetic penis and simulated porn and they passed the test?

Fuck you, cunt.

Put a $20 bill on the table and tell your boss it's his if he can say in all honesty that he's NEVER jerked off to porn at work. Then go back to your desk and proceed with your workweek.

Unless you're really shitty at your job and this is just a pretense for firing you, jerking off at work is not a fireable offense. Everybody does it.

jerking off at work is definitely a fireable offense, lol. But I guess it depends on where you work

Maybe if you work at a sperm bank.

>Boss told me about the secret security cam
completely illegal in my country and any "evidence" caught on them is immediately thrown out

sucks for you

>im kermiting lion tunnel slide

What country?

>start masturbating in secluded area at work
>get caught on security cam
>boss calls you to his office and asks you why you masturbated in the broom closet
>confidently slam $20 on the table and proclaim boss is a work masturbator too
>boss is caught off guard because tables have turned on him
>boss starts sweating but in the end leaves the $20 table
>boss apologizes and you get to keep job and $20

OP you need to tell us where you were masturbating.

If an employer records video of the property, there needs to be a sign or told that recording takes place on premises.

Exactly. Additionally, if there is no signage in the area that specifically proscribes self-pleasuring, you have probably just struck lawsuit gold, and can claim that you were fired without just cause.