What's the most embarrassing thing you've put your dick into?

What's the most embarrassing thing you've put your dick into?

ur mom

Banana

Nutella

an (alleged) hermaphrodite

a kiwi

Honey. The worst thing is my family still eats from that jar.

microwaved bologna
> it sounds so funny now that I just remembered

daughters food

My hand.

That's not embarrassing.

Hoover.

My sister

flower vase

only embarassing thing about that was that my mom found it and asked why the fuck the vase is not in the vase shelf

A woman.

I've had my dick inside a few land whales that I cringe to think about, luckily nobody I know ever found out

shoes

anything but the latest thing i fucked

Man, there's a few things I'm ashamed of.
>friend's fleshlight
>a dog
>pot of face cream that belonged to my gf's mom
>a fat woman in her 60s

The old woman was one of the most embarrassing experiences. She insisted I call her 'granny' throughout the whole thing and she called me 'young man'. I'll never forget her beneath me grunting "make granny cum", then calling me a good boy after she did.

your mother

my own ass

I fucked a fat old dirty bitch about 60 when I was 20. It wasn't quite as bad as your experience but this old hag was wheezing and moaning then got on her oxygen mask when it was over. I got the fuck out and never came back.

Rolling?
probably going to do both anyways

Shit i'm in the wrong thread

My EX girlfriend who 'had PTSD' because she didn't like that I broke up with her a year ago still can't believe I got back together with that one

When i was younger i thought that putting my dick in something would make me cum. I put my dick in a glass of water.

The only other thing it's been in is a friend of mine, so it's the worst I have.

came in for this, thx u user.

Please...elaborate

>bologna
>sounds so funny
oh jeez , im dying user

Rolled up sleeping bags

...

Brandon.

Hmm. I ended up with a girlfriend at age 16. When we were 18 I said "you know we're getting married, right?"

"Yes."

So we did get married later on.

I'm actually obsessed with her because she's so pretty and amazing.

Plus she has this fantasy where I roofie here and rape her. That's him much she trusts me.

A overweight slavic woman in her 40s . I was about 20

When i was really young i would dig a hole outside in the mud a put my penis is it
everyone always thought i was weird

How*

We're 39 now.

This is false. Fag.

gross

...

toss up between a girl that was totally fucking disgusting or another dude

A rubber glove filled with jelly.

He was in a play once, I was pretty embarassed

My wife

A cat, thought it would be hot, I was 7, the cat ran away from its house and was never found

A bowl of cooked noodles

Silly putty. Don't do it, it sticks to the skin really well.

Whole jar of Vaseline
Toilet paper roll
A Spider-Man plush
My couch

In a toilet seat. I was in my knees. I graved it like an arse. And i fucked a toilet seat pushing the tape which wrapped my dick with a hand.

Speak engrish

a baguette with johnson's baby oil

this is where im going to say that women are way worse than guys.
women will stick anything that fits inside their vagina.
i've seen a lot of things go inside a vagina because of 18yr olds experimenting with their body on social media.

peanut butter and a dog
miniature baseball bats
cucumbers
hairbrushes
curling irons
bedposts
toothbrushes

My left hand.

Traffic cones
Full size baseball bats
Negro phallus
Dog bones
Dog's bone
The list is endless.

Sorry. B2. Medium level. Nivel alto

stickam days:
dog and peanut butter
chicken bone
turkey baster
philips screwdriver
hairbrush
electric toothbrush
those are just the ones that i remember

After a month of no fap I fucked an overweight dude, came in his ass bareback then excused myself to go.
I cannot believe I hooked up with him considering he had strabism, dick cheese and a weird leg movement.
He would tell me to hug him and that it is his first time.
Still embarassed to think about it but the idea of fucking "curious straight guys" makes me diamonds and I accept almost anyone if they tell me that.

Ah the stickam days.
Ever get a girl to pee in a cup and drink it?

no but i found a teen with a big fat belly
my group and i would go in there and ask her to play with her fat belly.
we kept asking her if she had a dog and peanut butter.
she had peanut butter but no dog :(

Where u meet him?

Haha those were the days