Ive got a job lined up for me at a shooting range, im a heavy smoker how do i dodge this test...

ive got a job lined up for me at a shooting range, im a heavy smoker how do i dodge this test, been looking at detox shit for hours and cant find a half decent one

Is it a piss test?
Buy a "novelty pee/penis" from a smoke shop you n00b

bump

alternatively, you can get clean piss from someone. preferably the same sex as you. then put it in a small bottle. the day of the test just before you leave. pour the pee back into a cup heat it up in the microwave till you see a little bit of steam. then pour into a coffee thermos. when you get to the test place pour the pee into a small somewhat flat shaped bottle. wear two pairs of boxer briefs. place bottle between the two pairs. next to your balls or to the opposite side of where your dick hangs to. I've passed atleast 6 different tests with this method.

> boil piss in microwave
Quads do a decent advices

Quit smoking then...
/Thread

no shit

Just take some pee doesnt matter male or female ive passed with bith

Fuck that

If you're at a shooting range they want you to be straight for a reason, fucking idiot

testclear.com

You're welcome faggot

im working stockroom asshole

>hurr durr smoking weed is bad for you hurr it affects you the day after you've smoked unlike alcohol DURRRR
>people can't smoke at night and be good employees during the day HURR DURRR

>shooting range
>wants to avoid drug testing

This is why you don't hire liberals for a man's job.

Even so... piss test won't matter they'll spot an idiot stoner a mile off

They don't want some drugfucked loser around anything, it's a safety risk

And this, Sup Forumsoyos, is a giga-triggered pothead degenerate addict.

It's obviously affected you, fuckwit

don't fucking boil it, idiot. warm it up. i wouldnt be saying it, if it didnt work.

have you personally used one of these

I haven't smoked since highschool but I'm not a fucking retarded straight edge WASP faggot like you. I would smoke if it was legalized but you idiots won't die off yet.

Ok certo gatoraid and b complete you want 12 and 100 stains your piss yellow you chug certo mix then drink like a gallon or two of water piss 5 times before ypu walk in when you piss take piss from midle of stream amd not the first part or endijg dribbles

Yes, passed a test for database management 3 times.

You're a nigger? That explains a lot

10 day?

>apply for job needing to handle firearms
>smoke
>federally offonse to possess/use scheduled narcotics and firearms
>do so in a place subject to ATF inspection

You realize if an ATF agent discovers this, you're fucked, right? You're eventually going to slip up and come in smelling like weed and you're going to be fired.

I hope they catch you out and shoot you
Faggot

And prosecuted

Enjoy your federal felony offense OP

Inventory tracking faggots

These are the people they pay me to clean up after.
At least I'll always have work.

If he's making you take a piss test he obviously doesn't want a pothead loser working for him... he'll call cops on you for sure, it's his reputation on the line

No retard, I manage a gun shop and had a customer almost end up in cuffs because of it. Dumb ass smelled of weed and waled in during an inspection and got his ass chewed out by 3 of the agents there at the time.

Reputation, FFL, business, and all the families reliant on said business.

>I would smoke if it was legalized but you idiots won't die off yet.
I don't care if you smoke.
I do care if you're an employee at a gun range, or a commercial airline pilot, and you smoke though.

And you pretending YOU don't care? No one believes that. So stop.

Like you, I quit smoking in highschool. But I quit because I started slinging dope, and there's an obvious conflict of interest with smoking the product you sell. I sold to 50 people like you. You probably think weed isn't addictive, too?

Ell oh ell. You define your whole life by weed, and you define yourself as not being a "straight edge WASP faggot", even though you quit. So even though you don't use anymore, the weed still controls and defines you and your self-perceived qualities.

Which one of us is fucked, again? Remind me.

people who drink alcohol aren't all alcoholics.
people who smoke pot aren't all potheads

had a friend who smoked pot every day after work.
he only smoked one joint.
probably never even got high....well i couldn't tell.

>probably never even got high....well i couldn't tell.
You couldn't tell if he was high.
Are you legally retarded? Or using, yourself?

you do know its recreational legal here right?

Not with a federal firearms license

Hence the piss test

Firearms and associated licensing fall on a federal level. Marijuana is illegal on a federal lever.

Good thing auto-aciddent rates are increasing in every state where it's legalized.
>its fine guys weed isnt even dangerous

Even then , if no drug use is part of the terms of employment, thats up to the employer. Legal or not, I don't want a worker thats high all the time. Same reason I wouldn't hire an alcoholic.

I'm sitting in a coffeeshop smoking a j right now. I love living in a country that lets adults make thier own choices.

>Inb4 burnout

I'll be back at work making well above average money first thing in the morning.

I wouldn't want an addict looking after my stock, especially not inventory management

thats how you end up with missing guns. Probably going to move it illegally for his next fix only to get the place shut down.

And especially not someone who'd cheat a piss test, fuck that

And the successful people that don't have an addiction as a band-aid solution for the parts of their life they don't like?

They still have more money than you--since you seem to subscribe to the almighty dollar as a measure of success.

i have just graduated high school and smoked pot all summer, ive yet quit and havent smoked in a week, but i wanted to get the job sooner rather than waiting a month and a half since i smoked heavily everyday, all i want it to get a stable income faster rather than wait

So you've gone from smoking heavily to none in a week? Calling bullshit

I wouldn't hire you

have you even tried it yourself? its pot not heroin, you dont get addicted, if you drink beer everyday regularly would you be a alcoholic? no, all it takes is self control you idiot

>muh weed isn't addictive
Fuck off

>its pot not heroin, you dont get addicted,
Former dealer reporting it.
It is absolutely addictive. Physiologically but, particularly, mentally addictive.

You form habitual behaviors that are centered around the euphoric sensations created by getting high. By comparison, being sober sucks. In order to achieve the good feels, which your body is going to crave on a sub-conscious level particularly on shit days, guess what you'll start to crave?

Some dope.

Like this guy. He thinks he's in control, but he's probably smoking it up to take the edge off of his job. He's not in control or he wouldn't need a foreign substance to cope with situations that millions of people do everyday without drugs.

>no, all it takes is self control you idiot
That's some irony right there.

If you actually quit, good on you. It's a waste of money and time. When I did sell, I sold to every demographic you could think of. Not one of them quit in the years I sold. They all said they could quit anytime, but none of them did. And a lot of them had fiend eyes when I tossed them their bag.

If you had self control you wouldn't have been smoking heavily every day
If you want a job, I'd suggest learning the six magic words

Would you like fries with that?

Sup Sup Forumsro. Here's a cheat I found that some other user posted, have not tested it myself so idk how well it works but its better than nothing:
1/2
Dilute cheat:
Eat nothing for a few days. Kick your body into survival mode so it conserves as much fat as possible, this is where the THC gets stored. When you burn fat, it gets released with it into your blood/urine - the idea is to make your body stop burning fat and to hold onto it. Start this 5 days before the test and do it for three days, drinking only juice. No solids. If you can, work out too. This will be a living hell and you will want to quit and say fuck it, whatever happens will happen. Ignore this - this is your body's survival mechanism kicking in. You are starving. Your body will invent ANY reason to get more food, thats its job. These 3 days will easily be the hardest 3 days of your entire life - just remember your end goal and endure the hardship and you will overcome. 3 days of suffering is worth a lifetime of an excellent career.

2 days before the test, eat like a fucking fatass. Eat til it hurts, then eat some more. Just fucking gorge. Do absolutely zero physical activity, just be the fattest, laziest piece of shit ever. Your body will still be in starvation mode, so it will be absorbing/using the fat you consume with great efficiency rather than touching any of the fat you have stored. The idea is that since your body is clinging to your bodyfat for survival still, and because you are now taking in fat/energy, none of the THC still in your body will get released, as the fat thats holding it isnt being burned. DO NOT WORK OUT OR DO ANY PHYSICAL ACTIVITY WHATSOEVER.

You also need to use the diute method in conjuction with this. Start taking B vitamins and creatine supplements now. Follow the directions. 2 days before the test, continue the B vitamins as normal but double the creatine over the daily suggested amount. Drug tests have controls to spot dilution

2/2

- vitamin B gives your urine color, while creatine is the control they test for to see if you diluted or not. The extra creatine you ingested will trick the test into thinking you arnt diluting.
Cont

You want to have the urine being tested be at least your third piss of the day. Wake up early to chug gatorade/water. Take your b vitamins and creatine - remember that you must start taking the creatine at least 2 days prior to the test for it to work. Piss at least twice before the test, this makes sure youre nice and washed out. When you take the test, take urine from mid-piss. Like pee into the toilet, then into the cup halfway thru, then finish in the toilet. The mid piss is your cleanest piss, so thats the piss you want them to test.

If you followed all of these directions, youll pass. Your piss should be clear and lacking the proper threshold of creatinine (byproduct of creatine your body creates) which would mean you failed. But because your a good boy and took your supplements, itll be a nice yellow tint and have enough creatine to pass with flying colors. As for the THC, since your body is still clinging to fat rather than burning it, you wont have that much THC in your blood/urine to begin with, as fat isnt being burned to release it. Whatever THC is in your piss, wont be detected, because you diluted your piss.

Good luck. Maybe this is overkill, but do you want to risk it? Thats your call. What is certain is that this is your absolute best strategy to pass a urine test without being flagged for a retest due to dilution.

>Alternatively, you can just buy fake piss,

buy temp strips sold in walmart pet fish isle and strap the bottle to your leg (have something to separate and insulate bc shit burns like hell. I wore shorts for a job test. They didnt pat me down, just made empty pockets and go into a private restroom. keep it between 90 - 100 degrees. GL brah

>mfw OP goes to all this trouble and they do a hair follicle test not a piss test

had to piss in a bottle for a friend aswell, it's easy to pull off as long as it's not super strict. you should be able to get off pretty easy as long as you aren't one shady motherfucker and you are absolutely sure the sample is body temp warm, microwave it or something and then keep it tucked with your balls to keep it warm

rolling to see this shit happen to op

Holy shit you retards buy synthetic urine

I used to sell that stuff
I spiked it with Heroin

Why do so many dumbasses continue to smoke weed when looking for a job?

You're fucking retarded plenty of people drink alcohol and wake up hungover and drunk and go to those jobs and you don't do jack shit about it

Kill yourselves you sheltered antipot dipshits

Plenty of places you can get away with a hangover, or the occasional toke... somewhere that holds a federal firearms license isn't one of them

Try McDonalds

>You define your whole life by weed

Says some fucking retard who sold weed in high school and probably wore fucking bob Marley shit

Do you define your whole life with alcohol or coffee?

You're stupid as fuck

Haha McDonald's, you wish.

You don't have a clue statist cuck

You don't have a fucking clue about the world and the kinds of jobs stoners have and do perfectly fine

You are pathetic

Repeat after me
"Would you like fries with that?"

Practice

i already have a career that's probably way better than yours you dumb kid

Masturbation isn't a career

Whatever helps you slee at night you dumb ex drug dealing degenerate

Drug dealing? Wrong user, loser

Oh so you're just a sheltered little baby

Go blaze it 420 weed lmao, don't give a fuck

Don't expect a job tho

Yeah, that reason there is exactly why everyone that ever smoked weed did so. No other reasons whatsoever, and it also doesn't apply to other drugs like alcohol. You're the most rightest person on the planet and I want you to know that.

Are you black?

Lel synthetic urine is so easy, already did it

You're stupid as fuck

No im not a nigger

You can purchase home test kits from Amazon "easy at home" for instance, to see if you'll pass or fail.

Companies almost always perform prescreen drug test before hiring because they get cheaper insurance rates.

I used to sell that synthetic urine shit to degenerate liars like yourself... with trace heroin in it just for laughs
Not that guy, but you do sound like a nigger

Or you can buy fake piss for the same price that comes with a hand warmer and temperature strip

Why is everyone so fucking dumb?

Dude what? There's only one company that sells it and it's online

I have a hard time people are stupid enough to even be ripped off like that when they could buy directly from the source

You're full of it, and calling me a nigger, you sound like some autistic Sup Forums christ cuck who never had good enough friends to admit the drugs they use to you

I didn't say I sold it in person, that would be stupid... like you, obviously...

Haha yeah you sell the synthetic urine that I bought and used to pass a test even though its laced with heroin

Nice try you autistic cuck

You want the job really bad ? Drop the thing that is enslaving you. People take time to give you advice and you are rude bc they dont give the easy no effort solution.

Fucking stoner, you confirm all the stereotypes. Iw ouldnt hire you eiither with that "can't"attitude.

>lmao dude you smoke weed every once in a while kys lmao

>but alcohols perfectly fine because you'd have to literally be wasted on the day of the test to fail it for that

Get over yourself sperglord

Tests are easy to fool

Go cry yourself to sleep

Go smoke yourself to nowhere, cuck

I barely smoke, makes life boring, it just helps sleep sometimes

Do you drink alcohol?

Are you totally straight edge?

Either way, what caused your malignant autism?

well your dumb ass applied when you couldn't pass a drug test at an obvious pro-drugtest workplace.

>trying this hard to defend his precious weed
sad

Drugs and guns dont mix loser. Get a different job.