Greentext thread??

Greentext thread??

>no

I have a greentext relating to my first encounter with a girlfriend, if anyone wants to know it? I was properly retarded.

>fuck off

Go back to /r/Sup Forums, retard.

>be me, 12
>one of the most attractive girls (imo) in my class asks me out without knowing I'm a fucking retard because we were all new students
>I say yes
>FF 2 weeks
>I still haven't said a word to her other than on Facebook messenger because I'm a retard
>decide to man up and speak to my girlfriend
>"Do I play Xbox?"
>"No I don't"
>"Okay"
>back to silence.
>at this point I thought to myself why im so fucking retarded and genuinely wanted to die of embarrassment.
>we meet up with her friends
>two fat girls talking about MCR and my thin gf
>I stand about 25 feet behind them looking like a stalker rapist
>end of day she cuddles me in the park "I really enjoyed today, user"
>"Me too"
>She pushes me on the grass and sits on my lap "is there anything you want to do?" And leans in for a kiss
>she stops centimetres from my mouth and I stare into her eyes and say "not really"
>she storms home
>I get in to a message saying "hey babe sorry about earlier what are you doing?"
>out of sheer embarrassment I don't respond
>2 hours later
>"Playing WoW"
>"Well I'm outside can I come in"
>panic download free trial and stall for time outside to keep up illusion, been playing it since, she dumped me a week after this event.

>"Do I play xbox?"
What did he mean by this?

I meant "do u play xbox" because I spoke like an autist back then, I'd try to pronounce the lack of "Yo" in "You"

>facebook messenger
Underage b& good luck in 8th grade this year user, it's gonna be tough

Kek rekt

>you

Nice one.

>can
>>someone
>please
>>teach
>me
>>how
>to
>>orange
>>>text
>>>>>>>>>>>>>faggots

឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴឴ ឴ ឴឴ ឴ ឴឴ ឴ ឴឴ ឴ ឴឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴▲
឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴឴ ឴ ឴឴ ឴ ឴឴ ឴ ឴឴ ឴ ឴឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴ ឴▲឴ ឴▲
>faggot

>wake up every morning
>drink my piss
>take shit
>let dog lick ass clean
>go to work with pizza grease stains around tits
>forget i have to wear underwear
>they won't mind the smell
>boss tells me one more write up
>whatever
>go to dominoes and pick up 2 x-large pepperoni pizzas with extra cheese
>go home and look at the dishes in the sink
>there are none, there is no sink
>dog pissed on the carpet again
>eat my pizza

that top triangle is higher than most niggers IQ

Thats hot, tell me more?

...

...

>you are a nigger

...

...

Fake, underaged and gay.

Can we get orange text going

>This is a story that requires some background. I grew up in a small Midwestern town with a close knit group of friends. Among those friends were my current pastor, Joe, and current fiancé, Stacey. It was the type of town where everybody knew everybody. It was the one school, one restaurant, one church type of town. Due to the small population, people usually dated within their group of friends. Now I always had a crush on Stacey, but she had been dating Joe throughout high school and after. Joe was my best friend, so I kept my true feelings to myself.

>Ultimately, Joe decided that he wished to enter the seminary and broke up with Stacey as a result. Seeing this as my opportunity, I comforted Stacey post break-up and eventually asked her out myself. Years passed and Joe was now a priest while Stacey and I were considering marrying. The pastor we had all grown up with in our hometown church died, and Joe was offered the position. Thrilled, he took it. It was his chance to give back to the town that raised him. Stacey and I went to church every Sunday. Joe was like family.

>I asked Stacey to marry me, and we began the process of planning the wedding. We were excited to hold the wedding at the church, as we had been going there for decades. We were even more excited to have Joe as the celebrant. It was all very fitting. The perfect wedding. I visited Joe to ask him to celebrate our wedding, assuming the answer will be of course. To my surprise, Joe flat out refused. Told me to go somewhere else. It was a "conflict of interests," according to him.

>shove oranges in neighbor's exhaust pipe
>eat the rest

>I went to see him several times more, but the response was always the same. Bewildered, I demanded to know why. Our conversation erupted into shouting and Joe confessed that he, not me, was the right husband for Stacey. I felt betrayed not only by my best friend but by God, considering that I had always seen God through Joe. Without thinking I punched Joe. His eye puffed up like a cotton ball.

>Within hours the whole town knew. Even after explaining the story, Stacey was furious and walked out on me. I received a call from her that night stating she was staying with her sister and wanted to call off the wedding. I fell into a deep depression and locked myself inside. A few days later I received a knock on my door. It was the police. Apparently Joe hadn't been seen since the incident. Being the last person to see him, I was a person of interest. They asked why I had hit Joe. I told them if it hadn't been for cotton-eye Joe, I'd been married a long time ago, where did you come from where did you go, where did you come from cotton-eye Joe?

bump

Bump this bitch

>Freshman year
>all sorts of girls from different middle schools coming to one high school
>SurelyIhaveachancenow.jpg
>Cute girl thinks I'm hilarious
>we'll call her Erica
>always getting cozy with me
>I have a disorder that when things go good
>I go autistic
>For some reason start insulting her
>Call her chewbacca because she has peach fuzz on her upper lip
>Plug out her computer while she's doing an essay in english class
>One day shes trying to call her mom for a ride home
>Blurt out into the phone "Erica likes penis!" : v )
>However
>No matter how far my powerlevel would ascend
>She would just awkwardly laugh it off
>Eventually she moves on to another guy
>He starts hanging with us
>One day after school he's with me and Erica
>Decide to go max power even tho its a monday
>I say "Erica you have something in your hair lol"
>"Oh Where"?
>Lean over and spit in her hair because I think its gonna be a funny joke
>Yell "RIGHT HERRRR!!"
>She has a look that I lack the vocab to describe
>It a mix of horror, sadness, shock and despair.
>If someone saw they would think she was raped.
>The dude who was with us then proceeds to beat my ass like there's no tomorrow.
>was quite surprised but figured out quickly his reasoning
>Erica watches us.
>It reminded me of my chinese cartoons.
>When the main character swoops in the nick of time to save the girl.
>I was a pretty fast thinker and already knew the outcome of the situation
>Realize I have no chance of winning
>Realize that I have to escape
>Realize that I must go home and learn how to endure shame
>Realize that I might have something wrong with me
>I was able to escape the beating and had to have my mom pick me up at a walmart 3 miles away from the school.

The worst part is this isn't even the most cringest moment of my HS career. Or even my life