>tfw Australian
>tfw illegal immigrants on prison island
>tfw tiny Jewish population
>tfw don't get shot
>tfw gf doesn't get raped by migrants
>tfw Canada finds out what a bushfire feels like
>tfw no earthquakes
>tfw no terror attacks
>tfw right wing Liberal Party
>tfw you can call your boss a weird cunt and not get sacked
Just a reminder that Australia is the best place.
never forget the six gorillion that died in the Sydney Siege(tm)
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>tfw illegal immigrants on prison island
isn't australia the prison island?
How much did you pay for milk at the store?
>tfw you can bash natives and they get thrown in jail
Can you take me in? I'm white and will assimilate.
>a gallon of milk ranges from 3.79 AUD ($2.76) to 7.57 AUD ($5.51)
And the guns?
>tfw you can bash black people and they get put in gaol
FTFY
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>gallon
>be Australian, working in liquor store
>nobody has guns
>don't get shot
>be American
>get shot my Mexicans
>get shot by rednecks
>get shot by autists
>get shot by niggers
>get shot by nutjobs
last time you tried bashing the natives you got a five meter long emu schlong so far up your ass that even the swedes were impressed.
reminder that
>Australian accent is the result of drunks
>Australians put degenerate beetroot in hamburgers
>They have shitty TV
>Have everything that will try to kill you
>couldn't win a contest they arn't even part of
>still have to wait longer for stuff from asia than anyone else even though they're geographically nearer to japan than countries that get their stuff first
>Have terrible train system
>metric cucks
>things that never happened
i have visited the wikipedias. i read about the war.
>beef is avg $5.07 lb USD
wtf
>he actually likes his backward unit of measurement
my sides are kilometers away mate
>be australian
>have worlds 10 deadliest animals live there
>die by being touched by deadly ladybug
the fuck are you on about?
You know it's the tourists that die, right?
Beef is pretty vague m8. What sort of beef and what cut are we talking here.
>>tfw Canada finds out what a bushfire feels like
You are aware that the boreal forest burn like that every 5 years or so, right? The last one was twice as big as the McMurray fire, but no one ever talked about these fires, since they are in remote areas.
>tfw zero downsides to living here
Amerifats and Eurocucks on suicide watch
Studies have been show that this country is the most plutocratic country in the world
It really shows in dealings with local council and property developers
There is also a substansial problem with drugs, gambling and regional unemployment
pretty solid argument to be honest
which city is most based to live in?
It's good aye m8. Cheapest beef prices in the world I reckon, a filet steak will cost you less than $10 usd
Friendly reminder that
>British accent is the result of wanted to be seperate from the Americans
> British are against vegetables on your hamburgers.
>BBC is almost as """"progressive""" as MTV
>Wish they had cool animals that could kill you, so they import niggers to do it instead.
> Think coming second in a contest you arent a part of is worse than coming ????? In a contest you are a part of.
>Import so much shit from Asia they cant bear to wait a couple more days
> Think Australia has the same standards of railroads in every state or/ every state has bad railroads.
What are you after? Wollongong and Newcastle are good, Wollongong is abysmall for jobs
Tasmanian cities are appealing if you are after a certain lifestyle, avoid the capital cities with the exception of Hobart and Canberra
I really don't approve of the nanny-state censoring everything.
other than australia being a barren wasteland, I guess it's ok.
>be British
>get raped by a Pakistani
>the police do nothing
I think I'd rather deal with poor trains.
How does one move there?
Or get beaten by Polish Immigrants.
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>tfw Australian
>tfw coward punched and die
>tfw most of the population wants to let in the muzzie hoards masquerading as refugees
>tfw you can be arrested for saying something racist publicly
>tfw government is determined to fuck with the internet and do shit like introduce data retention laws and censorship
>tfw politicians seem to idolise the UK and want to turn us into a police state like them
>tfw despite being a massive pest you can't go roo shooting, even if you eat what you kill
>tfw nanny state video game censorship makes us look like poof cunts
>tfw the rest of the world adds an Australia tax to everything, making everything twice as expensive here
>I really don't approve of the nanny-state censoring everything
This is a legitimate criticism of Straya
>be australian
>can't go outside
>spiders and snakes are waiting to kill me
>if they fail the dropbears will succeed
>try to escape by playing video games
>video game is twice the price as anywhere else
>get it anyway because I can't go outside
>game is so censored it only has 1 hours of gameplay
>get suicidal
>can't get gun
>attempt suicide by jumping off top of building
>only two stories
>so close to death I can taste it
>sweet relief here I come
>end up in hospital
>free healthcare
>ask them to let me die
>they refuse
>end up paralyzed from waist down
>get back home
>nothing better to do
>shitpost on Sup Forums until I get banned
In a nutshell
>>tfw despite being a massive pest you can't go roo shooting, even if you eat what you kill
You can in QLD
You can kill as many as you want in the ACT when cull season comes around. Also there are parts of western NSW where Roos are periodically in open season for hunters.
kekekekekeke you guys seriously use metric lmaooooo even we don't use metric lmaolmao lmao
If you work in a liquor store in Canada you would literally make 40k a year
>Liberal Party
>Right wing
Link doesn't work. Any other source would be appreciated. Otherwise it's just some nice fanfic.
The only thing right wing in Australia is the right half of your bull
there are so many more terrible things about australia than the wildlife and the """"threat"""" it poses to people in every day life is laughable in comparison to the multitude of actual issues that make life here just that much more difficult than it ought to be.
sure we have a great quality of life and we are one of the best places to live in the world in terms of healthcare, education and development but we have absolutely retarded gun laws that hurt legal gun owners more than anyone else despite the absolute lack of correlation between (legal) guns and crime, which was admitted to by the NSW police commissioner i think, yet the hordes of insufferable inner-city leftist faggots who are so insulated from the real world they vote for all the bleeding heart shit with full intention of outright banning guns entirely or letting in rapefugees by the tens of thousands or making everything that might even remotely upset someone illegal.
i hope this helps you to make fun of australia in a educated and informed manner next time.
>there are so many more terrible things about Australia than the wild life
Yeah I can think of 23 million things
It's dumb American and Asian tourists who die, not us m8.
Top quality bantz m8
When will you throw the lobsterbacks off your flag though
>Studies have been show that this country is the most plutocratic country in the world
>It really shows in dealings with local council and property developers
I'm aware that there is a large concentration of power when it comes to Aus media (i.e. Murdoch), but what other areas does this extend to other than media and property development?
Emus own most of the land
>>Wish they had cool animals that could kill you, so they import niggers to do it instead.
noice
Milk is cheaper than bottled water here m8
Like what , shit cunt?
The joke
Your head
Then they move to NZ and complain about the weather
Underrated
Lost it at "only two stories"
Mmmm... i wouldn't be so sure
*whispers* g'day mate ....
id say youre wrong but realistically probably about 10 million or more of the total population are fucking retarded, then theres about 2 million gooks and shitskins which have their own problems, then the remainder that arent addicted to ice are decent, hard working, honest people.
Mmm whisper moe foe me oi luv hearin you speak yo dirty wods to me cawnt
*drips vegemite on you+
Yeah 10 million are retarded, the other 10 too young to shitpost yet
>gallon
Kill your yourself, impericuck
no, 10 million is about the number of people who vote greens or labor in federal elections
EY HOL IT ROIT HERE CAWNT
*drinks VB*
SO WUH YOU BE SAYIN IS
*smokes Winfield*
WUH YOU IS SAYIN
*drives 14 hours to the next town*
THET WE IS BEEN
*gets stabbed by an Abbo*
YOU SAYIN THET WE
*drinks vegemite*
THET WE IS
*waits an hour for 14kb image to load*
BOGANS
*hops in kangaroo pouch*
N SHEIT YA CAWNT
*dies of a tarantula bite*
buuuuuuuuuuuutttttttttt it's a nanny state so it automatically scores 2/10
>using frog measurements and then calling someone else a cuck
used up all my download quota just to load this thread
>17:03:27
>17:03:59
oh, the fact you had that saved spmewhere to post quickly is pretty fucking pathetic even for a fucking leaf.
I didn't have it'd saved, I typed it up and then hit update hoping I had an Australian to reply to right away
If I laughed at this does that mean it worked?
Reply faster I have to go to bed soon
O_O I can't believe that made you laugh I was honestly not trying to be funny but wow I guess you found it funny wow holy shit that's really exciting :3 does that mean I'm an honorary Australian now please I hope so I always wanted to be from there I love their people omg they're so funny and I love the wildlife and I love the culture omgg lmao at the abos though lol they look like they skipped evolution lol haha seriously though thank you for not considering me as bad of a poster as the rest I know some Canadians can't be really fucking bad posters xD but not me I'm a good poster
Hahaha I'm retarded LOL XD
good night i hope you dream of free weed and ice hockey
>drips vegemite on you
It's pathetic how hard Canadians try to be Australian.
You wouldn't last a week in Florida.
Do you read my posts in a Canadian accent? Sometimes when I want to immerse myself into the Sup Forums culture I get drunk and start reading all the shitposts made by Australians in the best accent I can.
Explain, the telly says florida is full of old people
I assume all Canadians sound like Avril Lavigne
I hate weed
Unleash your vegemite load all over my body, show me that hot sticky stuff I want your blackness all over my body. I want it getting in my eyes.
Okay we existed before you guys so that means we shitpost longer than you, I mean since the end of 1812 we've insisted we burnt down the White House. This is a 204 year old shitpost that keeps on going.
>since the end of 1812 we've insisted we burnt down the White House
Sad!
Wrong it's full of old Canadians
If I sounded like a woman id be so happy
True, but why the flying fuck would I go to Florida? Full of Americans...
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If we were Australians we would probably be celebrating the day they burnt down Toronto but we aren't Cucks
How the fuck do you have 10.41% less of a baby?
>less money
Poorstralia do you want me to donate you some money? Our dollars is worth $1.06 Australian that's okay right?
>united states of AIDs
They have a 100% more niggers than you but aids is only 66% less likely in Australia. Hmmm makes you think
no thanks mate, you'll need all you can get when your shitposting prime minister hands it all to the muzziecunts
Less money? The average Australian wage dominates the U.S
Has 10 million more people than Australia, Right above the U.S, dollar is still as shit as us an island in the middle of pacific. Just kill yourself desu.
Remind me again what Canada does other than being a far left version of America.
Goodnight
Thanks. Goodnight is there a way to post emoji? I want to post the sleeping ones
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The shit posting aussie is back at it.
>tfw no terror attacks
Did you forget the 2014 Cydny terror attack?
Urgh, he was just a crazy insane deranged madman lone wolf who wasn't a registered card-carrying member of ISIS, you bigot!
Let's be clear, Islamic terrorism has absolutely nothing to do with Islam.