What's the best piece of advice your dad ever gave you?

What's the best piece of advice your dad ever gave you?

Son, it's time you stopped being a nigger.

What did you do?

Got a job, moved out, knocked up a ho and stayed with her.

Damn

why you had a white dad?

Son, if it starts to hurt just bite down on the pillow. It will help.
;)

it's okay to miss your shot, because next time you'll know where aim, (we were at a range when i was about 14 and had a terrible grouping)

My mom and dad divorced so my brother was my father figure. He once told me this. "Reaching the top is one thing but staying at it is another thing"

"you're a fucking drunk"

My dad pointed to the wood grain dash of my moms Mazda Millenia, as he turned around in the driver seat looking at me in the back. "is that the color of your skin? Huh? Is it? What the fucks wrong with you?"
"Honey.." my mom said touching his arm to calm him.
"You're WHITE user, you hear me?"
"Yes sir."

I was in 3rd grade and we had done self portraits with crayons for family night, and they ran out of peach so I used brown.

Do what you say you're going to do.

When I was 10 my dad sat me down and said to me
>always use protection
He handed me a Trojan condom and a Colombia river knife, and said
>If the Trojan don't work just stab the little fucker

Whatever you do, always get a business degree.

>I was in 3rd grade and we had done self portraits with crayons
the paper was white right?

>If it ain't tight it ain't right
>if it ain't white it ain't right

>It doesn't matter how much money you make as long as you find a job that makes you happy.
Ironic that this advice is coming from a doctor that makes bank, but still a useful piece of advice.
Also,
>If [my girlfriend] ever starts acting like your mother, fucking leave her.
He said this with my gf in the car with us.

No a tan construction paper like material

I was an autistic little bastard taking 20 mg adderall 3x a day, surprised i didn't color it in like a kaleidoscope.

>if the Trojan doesn't work stab the little fucker
Was he talking about your dick?

I'm 60 years old so that means im wiser than you so nothing you say matters.

I want you to suffer like I did all my life.

Get a job and suffer like the rest of us.

>Me - lol no

>Wrap it before you tap it

The fetus.

Hide money all over the house, like, inside your shoes, under a lamp..

Posts like these are why I still return to Sup Forums after so many years.

Also I'm 61. Get on my level, youngin.

He never did, never had to, i manage myself ok in life. Feels good to be a well put human being.

first boomer i ever seen who knows how to use a keyboard to make words

Why do you call your dick "the fetus"?

Cause I always pull it out before it's finished.

"If you're not first, you're last"

fuck niggers

First millennial I've ever seen who can post an entire coherent sentence with no emojis.

I'm 62 now, btw.

shut the fuck up ricky bobby, the only way to regain your courage is death by mountain lion

and i bet you'd actually do it, moron

"Son, you can fuck a black chick, but don't marry one."

>life isn't worth it
I thought he was wrong, now I agree

Well my father didn't tell me anything, but thanks to him I've learnt to never trust anyone; family included.

He set the joke up for you, gave you the perfect chance and you still fuck it up.

Great job, m800.

careful edgelord

I bet you're addicted to everything you ever put in your mouth

Is this how kids bant these days?

2/10 at best, bud. I remember when I first started using Sup Forums back in the early 90's. Now THEY could throw some wicked banter.

You my millennial friend, cannot.

I'm 63 now.

Get a job.

We were on holiday, and we went out down along the beach. He took me to this little shop that you could get to when the tide was way out. They sold the best ice cream. We got one each and went over to the beach to eat it, but mine fell off the cone into the sand. So my dad leaned over and gave me his scoop then said "Son, around blacks, never relax"

Typically the kind of guy who would need a father like mine.
I've posted my story yesterday in an oldfag thread, should have been there.

I see i have successfully made you butt-mad old man

it hurts less if you relax

>back in my day i had to walk 10 miles to school and 10 miles back home every day

you kids these days will never learn

"Whenever you feel like criticizing any one, just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had."

He said 2 bits of advice, that's all I have: don't teach and don't get a credit card. Became a teacher, hated it, quit. Got a credit card - 7g of debt later. Took me about 3 years to get over those fuck ups. I want those years back

stop being a pussy

"Perhaps you should consider working abroad again for a year "
after getting done for drink driving. Sent it on a comp slip from his office. Couldn't even be arsed to pick the phone up and talk to me.

Never question authority

Never question the bible

Never question yourself

great job raising the next generation dumbasses

Don't eat yellow snow

swiggity swooty

was ur dad frank zappa????

my parents were religious nutjobs who believed everything they were told

-This is my own advice to everyone-

Think for yourself, make up your own minds about the world, we have been here before many times in past lives, so do not fear death just embrace it for what it is..a chance to wake up

"If you listen, then one day you might be heard." And "when in doubt, use the smell test."

His dad might have been nanook.

"bite the pillow im goin in dry"

If you're fat you will always fuck fat.

>think for yourself
>on Sup Forums
Good one.

Ur dad is gatsby?