All your most offensive jokes. I'll start

All your most offensive jokes. I'll start.

So a woman calls the police and says "help! I'm being reaped!"
The officer replies "um. Ma'am. Don't you mean raped?"
She says "no. He used a cyth"

Earlier today I saw an autistic kid being beat up by 4 other kids. I couldn't just stand there and watch. I had to do something. So I stepped in to help.

He didn't stand a chance against the 5 of us.

I fucking hate it when women start screaming out names during sex. Bitch, my name ain't someone please help.


What's the best thing about fucking twenty nine year olds? There are twenty of them.

The guy that hit the counter-protesters at the white nationalist rally wasn't committing a hate crime, he just couldn't see because of all the snowflakes.

Eat your mom's cheesy cunt curds, faggot

How can you tell when your girlfriend is getting fat?


She fits into your wife's clothes.

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair

Proving, once again, there are no funny right-wingers. Cucked every hour of everyday by liberal comedians...

that wasn't a joke. quit being a faggot and tell a joke.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't fuck my sandwich before eating it

Couldn't just read that and move on, had to say something huh?

How do you make a young boy cry twice? Wipe your bloody dick on his teddy bear.

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS

> stealing a joke from Reddit and passing it off as your own

How do you know he isn't the Reddit fag that originally posted it.

>Mind blown

What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?

Niggers.

scythe you retard

What's long black and stinky?
>the welfare line

How many waitresses does it take to change a light bulb?
That's not my job

What’s the difference between a ton of coal and a thousand Jews? Jews burn longer.

What’s the difference between a Jew and a Pizza?
>he pizza doesn’t scream when you put it in the oven.
>About $5.65
>You take out the pizza in one piece.

Why did Hitler commit suicide?
>he got the gas bill

What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't?
>ended a race

Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes

What's the difference between a woman and a computer?
>you can punch information into a computer

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
>GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present

FEMINISM

What do spinach and anal sex have in common
>if you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult

What's the difference between a woman and a slinky? The slnky doesn't climb back up the stairs and remake your dinner.

9 out of 10 people enjoy gangrape

onna hotta vegena puttin my fingers innr possi canna bodda lotta squirt jose onna minna lips imma grabba fettin lakka hawt dag inna mouth sh suckit imma kummin mamma

I fucked this retarded chick last night. I wanted my first time to be special

faggot detected

These jokes are so dark I'm surprised they haven't been shot by the police

Yes

Why does Isis only drink instant coffee?
>they hate French press

What do you call a black hitch hiker?


>STRANDED

What the fuck is a cyth?

You mean a scythe?

Besides that, Jesus Christ did you come up with that yourself? because it's horrible.

Irish detected.

Deploying famine.

what has 8 black legs and 2 white legs?

gang rape

bless

Lol

>Sup Forums - Random
>Random

Enjoy your first day here.

Why did Hitler get hit by the car?

because he did nazi it coming.

Jesus Christ. Check dictionary for "joke."

bmp