Overthinking my life and how useless I feel - but I just solved my rubix cube for the first time finally...

Overthinking my life and how useless I feel - but I just solved my rubix cube for the first time finally. It's something.

You guys got anything small that you've done that's given you a glimmer of hope?

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Yeah I was having problems with a code I had to finish. I did that. It felt nice.

I've started eating three meals a day brushing my teeth twice a day and washing my face twice a day. Kind of a big deal for me since I'm used to just laying in bed for 24h

Same here but I kept going and fucked it up again. I think I know the fix though.

...

That's what I am at right now ))) we'll do just fine))

Ah, it's ok OP, been there recently. Consider whipping up a list of shit/hobbies you want to do and see if any are near/cost practical to do or keep working that rubix cube. There's 7 billion of us bro, you is not alone.

I got a good paying job offer for sept
88 ish a year
Makes me happy since I just broke up with my gf cause she said she wanted an open relationship

Good for you, I have to get better at brushing my teeth. My skin is great though so I don't wash my face all that much

youtube.com/watch?v=luM1yMApy-E

Help me out guys

Alright faggot take things easy. Start small and big things will come. stay calm and you will be fine

>keep motivated

I've been plagued with bad skin all my life, even though its not helping that much it comforts my brain a little. Thanks user.

i went to the shop, fam was proud. also come back with an ounce of weed so i dont have to leave house until i run out.

Is it super bad acne??
I know everyone suggests acutane but a friend of mine had "poisoned blood" is what the doctors described it as and it give him terrible acne all over his face, back, neck and arms and he started that shit and its 100% different now and his skin doesn't rely on that treatment

op i feel you man ive been thinking about how shit it is to be dependent on my parents (anxiety disorder)

i just wanna be ABLE like everyone else

>tfw just got back from visiting friends and drinking too much for days on end
>tfw got back and stayed up till 2 in the morning doing drugs with different friends
>tfw gf working so chilling watching tv but feel like death
Kill me

i once ate a 10lb cheesburger felt really good because i one 100$

I realized poverty saves me from myself

It was at first, now I'm just dealing with all the acne scars and redness it left behind.

Other side

Solving the cube was a good feeling for me. You should look at similar puzzles, I have 20+ now.

How much do you weigh? I'm 250 and there's no way I can eat more than 3lb of burger.

I have been drinking now 4 days straight. This is the fifth day. I made soup today. Was good.

I've been doing nothing but sit at home and do the same shit for 4 years now, you'd imagine that nothing will ever change, like its going to be the same every day but even tho I don't leave the house, shit just keeps getting worse and worse at times.

Even when I don't do anything differently my life decides to go to shit and I just keep fixing everything until it breaks again. Whats the point of living like this.

I started exercising more, not sure why, its not like It'll make me more attractive, I don't think I can be attractive, I just don't seem 'human' to myself, idk how to describe it, I just keep seeing things in my appearance that I've never seen in anybody else, like somehow it doesn't 'fit' me specifically.

I play more guitar than ever but it gets repetitive at times and I usually put it down after a couple of minutes.

I read more but I can't stay focused and words just lack meaning when I read them, I can read a whole book and miss the plot entirely, I can't stay focused for more than a minute until I have to remind myself to focus on the text.

I feel physically ill when I get up early, like I have no energy and getting up makes me feel like I want to throw up.

Fuck my life, even when I try to fix it and stay positive something always won't let. Even the small victories don't help. What am I doing wrong?

fucked your mom

ur not getting that big victory, let each victory bring more hope.

Did my laundry finally. Didn't even know I still had that one shirt.

I learned yesterday that most if not all of my tuition is going to be covered by grants from the federal government.

So there is that.

Nah, I just secured my position in Hell and I can feel the remnants of my soul burning away
I've just become a standing symbol of everything I hate most and by the end of this year my head will be on a fucking pike

It's not even bad you faggot.

Damn what happened?

That's awesome that you're doing that. I know that feeling. Almost all I do is sleep anymore. If not i listen to music or watch videos.

Thanks, man. I do that constantly. But getting the drive to keep at it is what I'm hung up on right now. But i keep at it. I appreciate the reply bro

That's rough she left you. But congrats on the good paying job. That's a lot.

Everyone is useless, dumbass. The nihilistic feeling of uselessness that literally everybody feels in their life is the connection to the fact that you are less than a spec of dust in the existence of the earth, and no matter how much you achieve or how hard you fail you will still ultimately be useless.

Most people get depressed because they stop thinking at that point. Fact is, since everybody is useless, it's a fucking stupid thing to be depressed over. You're useless and your life is pointless - innately. Same as everybody.

What that means, dummy, is that you are free to assign your own meaning to life, and free to assign your own use to whatever interests you. You're supposed to keep thinking a couple steps further and be enlightened to the fact that you can do anything you want in life or nothing at all and both are valid choices.

Worst that can happen from any choice you make is death. But that's when you wake up and go do other cool stuff. Or take another spin around this junk heap of a planet. Stop being such a boner killer and go live life.

i bought a fuckton of soft drinks and ramen so i should feel like shit but the shop was like 8 kilometers away and i walked both ways instead of taking the bus and then i went back taking the long way so i walked like 20 kilometers today, half of that carrying like 15 kilo of stuff so i feel it balances out in the end.

and i took out the trash

Yeah I'm dependent on my parents too. That and the anxiety sucks. Hang in there user.

its really not.

I saw some. They looked fun but idk what they were called. Got any suggestions that you like the most?

Like nothing fills the void forever, huh?

Dillion?

I neglected personal responsibility for far too long and allowed other people to take control for me, now I'm completely depleted and scrambling for anything I can find while everything good in me left
Burning neck deep in hellfire right now and can't do anything to escape it

What do you like to drink? And what kind of soup? I kinda want soup now.

Been working out a bit and yesterday pushed a Jeep (work at a car wash). It's not huge but I wouldn't have been able to do anything like that a year ago.

not a thing, a person. I thought I had made a friend but I was wrong. I guess I wan't as important to them as they were to me. I guess I wasn't interesting enough but for the first time in a long time I wasn't thinking about killing myself

Yeah I'm almost over my first year at home. (Third if you don't count the year of having a job.) And i do the same shit all the time. And I feel like it's getting harder to focus.

I've been trying to eat better and get in shape too. Although I don't even know why. I like being alone and everything I enjoy is usually something I can't really share. That or I don't feel like I'll find anyone that I get that well along with, you know?

I want to read more but I feel like I'm missing everything that's happening too. That and write or any of the hobbies but it's hard to stick with it and not just give in. Like I know it's not easy.

I don't know user. Shit just seems to go that way. I don't know what I'm doing wrong either. Small victories don't help like I thought they would.

I guess we just keep trying.

Been depressed for 3 weeks now. Ignored my classes and assignments, but today was different. I felt like a load just came off my shoulders and I just felt great.

Been good, OP.

Yeah that's how I think too. I know that. Those shitty feelings where I feel like I can't bring myself to do anything just keep coming around. Like earlier. But it goes.

But yeah you're right. It's good to hear someone else say it back at me, instead of me just thinking about it. Kinda shake me outta it. I'll go find some cool shit to do. And try to stop thinking about it like i was.

Thanks, user.

Cool. Same here when I walk all the way to the gas station to buy bullshit, the walk usually levels it out.

Damn that sounds fucked. I hope things get better for you and you get out of it.

Shit that's rough. Idk why people just up and leave but they do. There's more people out there somewhere. Or so I've been told. Keep your head up, user.

That's awesome, user. I'm happy for you

I used to try really really hard in Melee and PM and get abysmal results because I never bothered to learn advanced tech like wavedashing and L-cancelling (because I was a retard and thought it wasn't necessary), but one day I decided to focus entirely on learning and performing those and my skill in those games rose dramatically after I learned to use them consistently, and now I can place mid - high range in local tournaments after months of placing dead last. Feels real fucking good.