I need some advice on this.
Got my dick stuck in the xbox.
Don't wanna talk about how, but I've tried spitting on it, splashing water on it, and I'm too far away from the kitchen. My family's watching a movie in the lounge so I can't get out of my room safely.
I need help.
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Well, you are fucked.
This is how desperate you are for attention? Are you really this lonely and unloved?
aaww comon user, lets talk about it some.
try turning it on
Rolling for this
Is this how xbox's are made? Guess that's why the company is called Microsoft
quick do a barrel roll!
It stopped working when some of the water got into the xbox. Turning it on's a no go.
I'll need more pics for proof
Why is the holy fuck would you pour water on an electronic device, are you trying to set your house on fire
Hang on then, I'll timestamp it.
Yank it out really hard and post pics of the remains of your chode
We're waiting.
...
> OP walking around the house trying to find a pen with his dick caught in his xbox
Holy shit so this isn't bait?
Lol
He wants a burnt nigger dick.
This is hilarious
It is bait, OP is a lonely little man he paying pretend
Well played.
Assuming you're slightly (or fully?) aroused & it's the tip/head that's stuck. You'll need for the blood flow to subside, either think unsexy thoughts or find something really cold or wet & cold to shrink it out. Lastly you're an idiot, it in there for too long you'll have to bite the bullet & get help from your fam. Lifetime of embarrassment still better that losing your pecker...
"Shit I got my dick caught in a box what should I do?"
... "I'll post it on Sup Forums, that'll help!"
It looks so sad
...
Sorry, phone was fucking up. There you go.
OP where dat timestamp at
There you go what?
...
Cut it off,you don't need it anyways
How to we know its really stuck? I demand a webm of you trying to yank it out
Suck it out.
HOLY SHIT HIS DICK IS ACTUALLY STUCK
I can't make .webms right now my dick's stuck you moron.
Plug it in and throw It in your bath
I come asking for help and all I get are implied accusations that this shit is fake. Fuck you guys.
what did you expect? this isnt WebMD, its Sup Forums
Since you broke the Xbox, just break the damn disc tray.
I expected that being Sup Forums, someone might've been in a similar situation.
Since its already broken due to the water. Break it apart?
Try doing a 360, it might upgrade your Xbox at least.
I'm not breaking it anymore I still might be able to fix it.
Put some butter on your dick and try to pull it out
Put lube/Vaseline/baby oil on it and try pull it out. Otherwise you're going have to snap the disk tray... And try remove it.... Gives a new meaning to 'I fucked my xbox' retard.
Pull out the tray. Rip it out. Make space for your sad dick to escape. It's an old console anyway, no great loss.
Kekd
Just yank it like you're pulling out a tooth. I hope you deglove your dick you pathetic fucking looser.
You raped an innocent xbox. You're still a virgin btw.
fuck who?
you stuck your dick inside a xbox. happens every day, sure it isn't fake.
but I will try to help. as another user already pointed out, try to shrink your dick with unsexy thoughts or cold (ice, not alcohol).
if not working, try to grease it. any cosmetic with oil.. good luck.
Well you are right...
- pull up picture of woman
- your dick will shrivel in disgust
- remove it from console
You're welcome faggot
Like with PC CD trays, after you rip them out you can slot them back in.
I love that in 2017 there exists a community where u can seek help and post pictures of getting your dick stuck in an xbox. where else could your turn for such help? our ancestors would be proud
pick up xbox, turn 720 degrees, then walk away.
did you try turning the xbox off and on again?
Damn that Xbox is sexy I can see why you tried to bone it.
There is a little hole to the right of the disc tray on the front of the Xbox. If you insert a thin but stiff wire (as he suggested a paper-clip is suitable) and push it unlocks the tray drawer so it can be manually pulled out.
Pick up the xbox, slowly let it hang and it should gradually unstick your dick. It might be a tid painful, just go slow and let gravity do its job.
Why is your cock even in an Xbox OP?
It wasn't hard when I stuck it in, and it still isn't hard. There isn't any more shrinking to do.
X-bone lol
>I want to try this. Someone know about they?
watchix.brotherscafe.com
Then don't fucking whine about people not helping. Rock your cock side to side, pulling foreskin up as you go.
Surprised nobody asked this yet
Why are you trying to fuck your xbox OP
This OP, it will also make your cock bigger.
> I know, I've been there. You have to swing it slightly though (not too much, you don't want to hurt yourself).
This is Sup Forums, what do you expect.
who tries to fuck something while being soft?
I don't wanna talk about it.
Nigga that thing takes CDs not floppys, how retarded are you?
Paper cut your cock so the blood drains out and it shrivels up. Then kill yourself there is no coming back from this level of depravity.
OP if you have MDMA or Cocaine to hand just take a load of that, if you don't call up your dealer and you'll have a funny story to tell Sup Forums of the conversation explaining why you've met him with your cock in an xbox. Take a bunch, you'll end up with tictac dick and be able to remove it easy.
This is the arsehole of the internet lad. Nothing surprises no more.
i dont fucking care if this is bait or not i kek'd
JUST FUCKING TELL US YOUR ANONYMOUS ANYWAY
...
This motherfucker
people actually believe this shit?? the tray is only powered by a tiny motor on a rubber band u guys are so fuxking stupid, try and pull ur tray out now and you will find out how easy it is, so bait
Get out of here, mom... You're ruining our fun time.
get butter
OP why did you stuck your penis in a gaming console?
Its funny that OP tried to fuck his xbox
Well idk about all that, but it looks like it's a gen 1 xbox so there should be a good deal of weight behind it. You can lube it up if you want OP, but it sounds like your pretty set on not destroying it. Got any mineral oil by chance?
No they absolutely don't but its fun to believe that an epwic thread can sometimes happen on Sup Forums faggot.
OP if your flaccid penis is stuck how the hell did your get your erect penis in there?
> Itt
>>Worried about not breaking 20 dollar xbox.
>>>Not worried about Perminant penile damage
8/10 good read
Well plus side is you now have a portable xbox
This
>
Alright, fine.
I have a fleshlight and I hate using my hand to hold it. So I thought I'd brace it somehow, and the slot in the disc tray of the xbox looked like a good idea.
I like to put my dick in the fleshlight soft and then let it get hard inside. Now I figured the disc tray would make the fleshlight even tighter because of the plastic borders.
Unfortunately when I went to close the disc tray, and put my dick in, the fleshlight slipped out and my dick took its place. The tray jammed and it made some sort of grinding noise inside.
Op here. Not flaccid, I have a xbox fetish, cant get soft
>Perminant
Kid, go the fuck to school.
I didn't expect to see this when I went on Sup Forums today... Lesson learned. Don't try to reproduce with console, or any electronic shit for that matter.
user are you able to make it to your fridge to get butter? perhaps lube?
I mean, he made a pretty retarded typo but he's right. This faggot's dick is going to be fucked if he doesn't restore proper circulation. Op google how to get stuck rings off (dental floss).
is someone screencaping? i'm fucking dying
>I didn't expect to see this when I went on Sup Forums today.
>Got my dick stuck in the xbox.
>I need help
Well yes OP you really do need help. What the fuck is wrong with you. Did the red ring of death look at you with them sexy eyes.
You need some butter/washing up liquid Op unless you have lubeor just turn it on and the tray will open
Original Xbox didn't have RROD, faggot.