Gryffindor: jocks

Gryffindor: jocks
Slytherin: preps
Ravenclaw: nerds
Hufflepuff: losers

>Ron
>jock

>preps
Go to bed, Enoby.

>Slytherin
>not Jocks with how every member of that house is described as buff and dumb by J Kuck Rowling

You know Hufflepuff had the best orgies.

Literally the only jocks in the entire franchise were that guy from Hufflepuff (I can't remember his name) and the hulking German who took Hermione to a ball (and took her virginity too)

I don't think any of the Slytherin were described in detail except for Draco and his obese minions.

Harry Potter: one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Look ew it is, Draco Malfoy, hey draco, turn about before we curse your cumskin dicklet round wednesdey

Gryffindor were cool and had class unlike one of the dullest shitposts in the history of movie shitposts. Each shitpost following /lit/ wizards and their pals from /r9k/ as they fight assorted kinographers has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the lack of film analysis the shitposts only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of images and pasta?all to make fantasy unfantastical to make witchcraft seem kiddie.

Perhaps the die was cast when Quentin vetoed the idea of shitposting on /lit/ directing the shitposts at Sup Forums, he made sure the shitposts would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-prosting for his (You). The shitposts might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-atmospherical anaylsis in its refusal of critique and watching for the plot. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the shitposts are g-g-good though
No!

The writing is dreadful; the books were terrible and the films were much better. As I read, I noticed that everytime he shitposts, Quentin wrote instead that Brave New World "was a low tier form of art."I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that shitpost was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. The shitposters mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that he has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of shitpost by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are shitposting at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you shitpost you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Perhaps we should "mark on the back of an envelope" every time you post this, then punch you once for every mark.

>hating on hufflepuff

When will this shitty meme end? if you wanna die a horrendous death just to get screentime just pick any house that's not hufflepuff.

D R O P P E D
R
O
P
P
E
D

But the first student to die during the series was a Hufflepuff.

Weasley is our king.

Hermione is a nerd but shes a true gryffindor, jer and neville arent jocks or that colin faggot

Imagine being defined for years by what flavor of little shit you were at 11 years old.

hufflepuffs literally salty

Why do the nerds get 2 houses?

What the hell was even the point of these houses (chapters? Whatever the fuck they call it)? They're not like faculties, because everyone was studying the same magical shit anyway. Seems like its only purpose is to make 75% of students feel miserable in the end of the year.

BOOM IN THE BLOOM

How ignorant are you?

Fun fact: The Ravenclaws are also supposed to be the hottest, because they're perfectionists.

Hufflepuff are just normies. They and Gryffindor are both losers for the most part.

>his school didn't have houses
kek, I bet it was free too

even american public schools have houses in middle school, mine did 10+ years ago

>Seems like its only purpose is to make 75% of students feel miserable in the end of the year.

It was tradition going back to the founders of the school. Also in the books more so than the movies it was an easy illustrative way to distinguish certain archetypes of people. The problem is she wasn't consistent enough with it to really make it work also Hufflepuff could have used a bit more defining/distinguishing characteristics.

One thing that was really more confusing even though it was supposed to be inspirational to Harry individually was that the "Sorting" hat took your choices into account. Which basically nullifies the need for the hat entirely.

The sorting hat is the perfect answer for this, it exposes your true character. People don't actually change much after 6 years old.

I always liked Hufflepuff. Buncha losers but I bet they'd like all the same shit I do.

Make it desirable to pleb shit skins and american teaboos

Your choices make up your character.

Gryffindor: Amphetamines
Slytherin: Cocaine
Ravenclaw: Adderall
Hufflepuff: Weed

Christ it was a book written for little kids for fucks sake.

>Seems like you're a cunt m8, Slytherin it is!

DUDE DRUGS LMAO

neck yourself faggot

Gryffindor is alcohol.

DUDE CHILDRENS MOVIES LMAO

neck yourself Sup Forums

Was thinking that, dutch courage and all, but Speed fits them even better
drugs are fun m8, lighten up ;^)

Hufflepuff was more of the stoners. Losers implies it was a bad move on their part to treat the whole Voldemort debacle like a silly cavalcade of dumb bullshit, which is exactly what it was

you see, I liked Ravenclaw the best
But knowing that all the lolsoquirky internet retards love ravenclaw makes me hate it
So I'd probably just choose Hufflepuff and rave it up with Cedric and really easily shine since everyone in the house other than Cedric isn't even allowed to use real scissors

>amphetamines
>different from adderall
You never went to parties did you?

>As they lay on the sofa in their common room, slowly recounting stories of the day, or the week, jumbled into a constant hazy metaphor, a commotion outside the Hufflepuff sanctuary slowly grew louder.
>It started as just some hurried footsteps and light yelling, but before long, the Hufflepuff students realised something big must be happening. Screams of "He's here!" and "Everyone get ready!" were the most confusing. But alas, such was life in Hogwarts and the Hufflepuff students quickly returned to watching videos of cats act like dogs on youtube

wtf are you talking about, everyone liked gryffindor students except slyherin people

>replying to obvious bait

so what? compare something like roald dahl to this, rowling is a shitty writer, plain and simple. who the book was written for does not excuse her.

>be a school of magic
>MAGIC
>you're biggest sport is a flying version of rugby

Stop calling hufflepuff stupid, their character trait was loyalty.

And it's the one you would most want your friends to have.

Gryffindors constantly bicker about who gets to go do the brave thing. They often get jealous of each other's glory. Ron won't talk to harry over the triwizard cup, Harry gets jealous and sad when Ron gets made a prefect. Pathetic.

Ravenclaws get cunty and elitist. Only good one was Luna, but you couldn't argue shit with her. Never listens to reason about crumple horned snorkacks. Cho was a hero fucker, her boyfriend dies and within a few months she's trying to fuck harry.

Slytherins were loyal, but to blood instead of deeds. It's not about what you do with them, it's about who you are.

Yeah but the speech we learn this in always seemed to imply to me that the main reason Harry was chosen for Gryff rather than Slyth was he mumbled under his breath for a few seconds that he didn't want it. If that is all the action it takes than why didn't everyone in Hufflpuff just mumble "anything but that shit please."

They all thought they would be outshine the other Hufflepuffs.

gryffindors are more loyal

>think nothing could make quidditch lamer
>people play invent real-life versions where they just run around with a stick between their legs

At least the american version of quidditch had exploding balls. Why not adapt that for real-life?

Hufflepuff shows you the value of loyalty. You will die a loser with no achievements to your name.

They sure showed their loyalty when Harry became the fourth wheel in the tournament. Or any other time when they started talking smack behind Harry's back because reasons.

Being in hufflepuff would be great
>no expectations
>still get to attend super awesome fun wizarding school and fly a broomstick
>all the girls in your house are dopey as fuck and probably sexually naive
>everyone's too passive to worry about arguing or glory

Fuck, I'm kinda jealous

aye I went to all those parties where they fuckin slammed adderall yeah?

ur fucking cool man haha Xd!

Hufflepuff is great if you have no greater amibition than being a wizard who does nothing of his potential and that no one respects

No but people with active social lives tend to not be complete fucking retards when it comes to basic drug-knowledge

hey, we're both posting on "slash tv slash" on a saturday night, friendo. neither of us is cool.

Magic rugby created by idiots, evreything involving the golden snitch is stupid and only serves to make harry look important.

not talking books

>respect
>high-school
Underage, gtfo

>stupid and only serves to make harry look important
That's 90% of any detail presented in the book.

Slytherins are politician scum gaining power in any way.
Gryffindors are muh bravery retards. They seriously don't have any real definer. They can be politician scum, retards like Papa Weasley, or anything in-between.
Hufflepuffs are the backbone of society and government, doing all the jobs that need doing.
Ravenclaws are the scientists actually studying shit like the death-veil.

Ravenclaw is obviously the best house for someone actually interested in magic, like a muggleborn would be. Invent a vaccine against dragon-pox and become prime minister off of the fame.

Hufflepuff is the dankest house. Great color, best common area, best mascot animal. Plus its defining trait is loyalty so you've always got your yellow niggas at your back.

people round here usually say just say amphetamines to mean speed and that, but sorry i'm not a drug superstar like you my super-cool-social-life-having friend :^)

Plus Gryffindor and Slytherin are bound to be less relevant when there is no dark wizard to fight/support.

>Hufflepuffs are the backbone of society and government, doing all the jobs that need doing.
lmao, except you don't need janitors when you have magic clean and repair spells and elf slaves

>literally a Jock

There is literally no difference between the houses other than Slytherin being the designated bad guys.

What magical careers would you fellows pursue?

I'd want to get in on the wand business. There's a single wand maker in the whole country. Not exactly a ton of competition.

so you're saying jocks, preps, nerds, losers is essentially correct

but muh tumblr roleplaying

>lmao, except you don't need janitors when you have magic clean and repair spells and elf slaves

Damn.

Maybe there should just be a gun next to the sorting hat for Hufflepuff picks.

yeah i feel that in a more true-to-life school a group of people whose entire defining characterstic is staunch loyalty and friendship would gangbang all the other houses. that's just how society works, usually the more unified groups tend to dominate.

>anyone who's not a complete fucking retard must be a wannabe tryhard
nice projecting faggot

I'd open a magical theater and serve krewt legs.

literally just rob Fort Knox using teleportation, imperius and obliviate and use the gold as wizard money

Hermione should have been in Hufflepuff.

JKR always Mary Sued her up as "the cleverest witch of her age" but really Hermione just studied five times harder than any one else in the school.

Sorry JKR, but being able to spout off a memorized passage of text at the right moment or being better at casting spells because you've already taught them to yourself beforehand is not what being "clever" or talented means.

Hermione was the best because she worked the hardest. Hufflepuff is the hardworking house. Hermione should have been in Hufflepuff.

woah hello
I thought you would have stopped posting like all the other trips have

>should i get my wand from the friendly old man who provided all my family members with wands and who is obviously very talented?
>or should i get my wand from some kid i've never met who doesn't shave properly?

We're not talking about those jobs, though. We're talking government officials sorting out paperwork and shit that nobody particularly wants to do, but needs doing. Gryffindors try to become Aurors. Slytherins try to become ministers without putting in the work. Ravenclaws want to study time-turners or whatever. Hufflepuffs are the guys actually taking care of the logistics so those guys can do all they do.

>You will never get a nosh off Hermione behind the tuck shop

Put a massive gun in me gob an pull the friggin trigger lad...

Gryffindor and Slytherin hate each other; but there's no other rivalries. Everybody hates them both

poorbloods like the weasleys would buy my discount wands

>letting children carry around around instant kill weapons

WAND CONTROL NOW

fund it, poorfags and mudbloods should have inferior wands

Yeah, I'm sure you'd be able to muscle Ollivander out of the wand-market. It's not like he's been supplying wands for like a hundred years, cultivating a customer-loyalty built over actual generations. At best you'd be working for him.

All of the Weasley brothers chose pretty fucking good jobs. But I'd have to pick curse-breaker or runner of a magic candy and gadgets emporium.

Gryffindor: Chaotic Good
Ravenclaw: Lawful Good
Hufflepuff: Neutral Good
Slytherin: Lawful Evil

Why is Slythershit a thing?

What the hell is up with tumblr girls and Slytherin, though? You'd think they'd recognize them as the obvious preppy/conservative stand-in it is supposed to be, but instead half of them seem to identify with it.

>implying the American wizards haven't secured Fort Knox with protection spells

Have fun in the Magic Max prison.

They think being Slytherin means wearing dark green make-up and black clothes.

You picked the wrong picture. Did you forget the part where Radagast fucking trashes the Witch-King?

>a bunch of narcissists who act bitchy and are all into the 'dark arts'
Yeah, can't see how tumblr could possibly relate

ban assault wands!
you don't need that much casting power!

because sociopathy is sexy to women

>watched Hobbit movies
>liked them
someone call the pleb patrol

...

because Hogwarts would go under without them, you think Hufflepuff and Gryffindor poorfags pay tuition?

It's really only the Weasleys that are poor even though Arthur has a government job. I think Hogwarts can support one family at least.

Which has more school Avada Kadavra-ers, Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff?