Jail Stories

Jail Stories

>be me
>get weed charge in shitty state
>can''t make bail
>have to stay a couple of weeks
>everynight a few mins after lights out, I yell out REEEEED ROBIN!
>a couple of people would reply YUMMM
>after a few days the whole dorm would reply YUMMM
>guard starts getting butthurt because it's against faggot jail rules and out of his control
>one night he snaps
>turns on the lights, demands to know the culprit
>nobody says anything
>he says the whole dorm loses commissary for a week
>I give myself up
>mfw he makes me do an extra chore in the morning
>mfw everybody likes me and give me free shit out of their commissary after that

Cool story bro, here have a (you)

lol that's awesome...sucks you were inside but looks like you made the best of it. That attitude will take you far..thanks for the laugh.

>That attitude will take you far.

The attitude of wanting to fuck with guards? Yeah, people like that sure go far in life.

>be me
>in the clink
>shaved head cuz bad genetics
>hella tattoos because degenerate
>niggers think I'm AB
>some faggot talking shit in the yard
>see him in mess hall still speaking nigger
>get in my face touched the food on my plate
>swing my tray and bust nigger upside the head
>chimps to the rescue
>prison bros jump up
>race war ensuses on chow hall
>come out unscathed
>spend the rest of my bid on ad seg
>MFW I google myself and I have a inciting a riot and racial violence on my tracker.

based

Welcome nigger friend

whats a tracker?

What niggers call a "tractor"

tracker or jacket, basically your jail report card as to how they classify and house you

and they put that online? Interesting

9/10 would buy you a pint.

thank you good sir.

Yep if you're a state inmate your record is public and you can view their infractions. easy way to see what type of degeneracy someone was up was up to on the inside

>Be me 47 years old and live in my moms basement.
> Feels a hungy in my tumtum.
> Sprint up the ten steps as fast as my 500 pound ass lets me
> Slide like a penguin into Kitchen.
>"WHERE ARE MY CHICKEN TENDIES!"
>Mother weeps due to my non existent future and begins prepping the Tendies
>Her new Boyfriend Nigga Wayne takes no shit.
>Get in the corner before i fuck your ass like i fucked your moms.
>My butthole shivers, Not yet healed from the last session.
>Go into the corner and wip out phone to tell Sup Forums bros
MFW i can barely Surpress the tears

We used to build forts out of blankets and the bunks, save up our ketchup and mustard packets for the week, and have wars. Jail isn't that bad tbh

>be 18, go to jail for aggravated burglary
>meet pad mate who ill spend my sentence with
>kinda weird
>he's in jail for stabbing someone in head
>ok
>he sleeps with the blanket over his face, like a corpse
>okok
>one night he stays up all night pacing back and forth
>i say whats up
>'i wanna stab the guy in the cell across the wing'
>'why'
>'cus right now i'm probably 5th most dangerous in here, i wanna push that up to number 2 at least'
>ok
>actually ends up becoming really cool, we watch simpsons movie together
>i leave before him and give him all my food pringles cans of coke etc
> he wrote to me but i didnt write back

the end

lol

Haha. Stay rekt weed head.

>dude, weed

wow you are a huge faggot

wtf

Your mom would disagree. Back to your weed, loser.

When i was in jail he had our own superhero.
His name was handyman. Some skinny ass portorican with a fucked up back who would dance around the guards in a cape and a pair of boxers rolled up and stuffed in his pants.