How do I murder a cat and make it look like natural causes? >Dating amazing girl and soon moving in with her >She has a piece of shit cat and is OBSESSED with it. >She'd 100% choose cat over me >I'm somewhat allergic to cats so cant breathe at her place >An insane amount of fur from just 1 cat EVERYWHERE >It meows and begs for food constantly loud as fuck >Jumps on me at night wakes me up several times a night >GF won't let me close door cause she'd just meow all night and she wants to cuddle with it. >Fucking cat has allergies so only can eat gourmet expensive shit and needs expensive meds every summer >We're moving from NA to Aus next year and she wants to spend literally thousands to bring this 10yr old cunt with us
Can't be too slow or she'll go further in debt on vet bills If I'm caught I'm fucked Vet has to be convinced it's just an old cat or something.
Normally I love animals, I have a degree in fucking biology. Used to have plenty of cats growing up. This one is just a cunt.
Evan Cook
you get the fuck over it and just tell her
Ayden Gonzalez
How about kill yourself, then you won't have to worry about the cat bothering you.
Justin Wood
She knows I don't like it, doesn't matter. Liek I said cat >> me
Tyler Garcia
Rat poison.
Matthew Smith
How about you just kill yourself?
Michael Martinez
rat poison that was left for rats but cat ate it, or make a bomb and force the cat to try and defuse it, if he fails you kill cat but if he succeeds he'll be a hero cat and on the press so you can make money
Jaxon Ross
Ditch the bitch. Also, chocolate.
Nolan Morales
she's known the cat for 10 years and you for only a couple months, yet you still wonder why she chooses it over you? you dont have the intelligence to have a degree in bio. kill yourself
Robert Morales
asphyxiation and then leave the body posed gently somewhere, let her find it, be prepared for a ton of emotional shit for the next month then suggest a dog that can be trained to not be a cunt
Lincoln Carter
I hope you die from an allergic reaction....
Jacob Phillips
I didn't say I didn't understand it. She loves cat She loves me less Cat is cunt All simple stuff.
Josiah Sanchez
get over it. what a fucking faggot
Hudson Martinez
Leave, either 2 things will happen, you'll get caught even if she doesn't have proof and will tell all your friends your animal kill. Or she'll get another cat, will guilt you into buying it and will probably be a shelter cat that already has medical and behavior issues. Cat people are the weakest race and should not procreate
Xavier Lopez
> getting cucked by cat i dont even need to tell you how shitty your relationship must be and why you should kys, right?
Blake Torres
>bioLOGy
Caleb Parker
eat it than tell everyone you are chinese
John Carter
come with a dog
Adam Davis
Op, if you kill it and leave the body, chances are once she gets over the emotional trauma she'll want a new cat, if she's as crazy about cats as you say. You have to kidnap it, drive it very, very far away and leave it or murder it, up to you. Then she'll go on a cat hunt, and won't want another one in hopes that the first will come back.
Jackson Martinez
open door. cat leaves house. cat gets hit by a car. dig hole. insert cat. repeat when she buys a new one.
Colton Bailey
no need to kill it. make it look like the cat ran away and take it to a wooded area. got rid of my cat problem
Ayden Gutierrez
You don't think she'll know something's up? If you're willing to murder a cat (for possibly good reasons, tl;dr) you're probably a shifty guy. You've probably complained enough to make her suspicious. That's all a female's brain needs to make her certain.
John Miller
Ditch her. She will buy a new cat if you kill it. She will also be emotional baggage. Also good job being cat cucked.
-New fag
Jack King
But some freon and mix it up in the cat food then eat it yourself you fucking faggot. People who make there partners choose between themselves or their pets need to euthanized
Jason Bailey
This. You're acting like killing this one cat will solve all your problems you supreme fucktard
Angel Richardson
Cucked by a cat, the OP story
Blake Foster
See, the cat isn't the problem in your relationship. The cat instead is a metaphor of what is wrong in your relationship. You have a problem, don't talk to your partner about it. Instead, you decide to KILL the fucking cat. No dude, killing the cat won't solve this issue.
Blake Price
I wish you get hit by a car and all your fucking limbs removed. You fucking piece of shit.
Samuel Howard
If the OP is actually serious he is garbage not worthy of her admiration. My brother in law is highly allergic to cats and still married my sister despite her cats. It is called allergy medicine and tolerance. Jumping to murder of an innocent cat, while cats can be cunts, is unacceptable.
Brody Ramirez
the tried and true method of sack + river, OP
Liam Sanchez
Rat poison. Happens ALL the time. People leave rat poison around thier property to get rid of rodents but sometimes cats or dogs eat it.
Julian Reed
Actually freon might be better, if she doesn't already have rat poison she may get suspicious and the cat will be more drawn to the freon
Christopher Powell
Drink a glass of rat poison. Then take a shit and mix it in with the cat food. Cat will be dead in hours. Trust me it works I've done it.
Austin Morales
If you think you need to a murder her cat to get a girl to like you, you really need to stop and rethink how you look at relationships
Landon Allen
You have to drink a whole bottle of Everclear. You'll get really drunk and piss into the cat's bowl. The cat will drink it and start dying. Idk why but Everclear has an effect on urine. You may have to do it a few times before you see results.
Kayden Bennett
>be me first grade >crazy home life ya know >abusive drunk dad, mother was just...on pills >find ways to entertain myself >write a long list of over 101 ways to kill cats >take it to first grade best pal, josie >hey josie, check this out >tfwyoure6anddisgustedatyourownfriend.gif >josie shows teacher >teacher is like...the fuck >call mom, dad, parents come to school >show list >tfwyouknowsocialservicesiscommingsoon.fml >get beat
wish i still had list
Nathan Price
kill yourself
Adrian King
you stop being a faggot.
Jayden Ortiz
mega kek
Connor Edwards
rat poison 100%
you need to make it look like it was poisoned by a neighbor. sometimes bird freaks like to kill cats because it saves birds.
Sebastian Bell
find a way to run it over kek i hate cats but have a few myself passive aggressive with them
Benjamin White
just remembered
use a big rat trap, fucker will break either a leg or it's neck, eitherway it will render it useless. blame it on the rat. tom and Jerry stlye
Chase Campbell
Don't be fucking stupid. Cats are great, you're just an idiot.
Carter Bennett
put poison (powder) all over dead rat give to cat cat eat cat die
David Myers
Ill fuck you up if i find you killed a animal!
Isaiah Kelly
>please notice me
Charles Peterson
If you kill a cat I'll find you, I am an ex special forces soldier.
Chase Campbell
In an effort to help you, Although I don't think you need to fit her dilute the human gene pool with your retardation. This is what you need to do, feed the cat, pet the cat clean his liter box befriend the cat. Then When The Cat Favors You Over Her She WiLL Be jealous.