IS THIS ALL YOU CAN CONJURE, SARUMAN?!

IS THIS ALL YOU CAN CONJURE, SARUMAN?!

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Someone could have at least even checked em for me

;_;

Who is best dragon and why is it Glaurung?

That's such a good name

Tolkien was real great with names

Why the fuck didn't you post Glaurung?

he was a linguist above all else.

i always elt like saruman and sauron's names sounded too alike though.

Checked and keked. Two digits for the two towers. Watched TT on blueray last night and it still blows me away after 15 years.

>dragon

I'm thinking of doing my lotr extended edition marathon soon. [Spoiler]I haven't watched them in a few years. [/spoiler]

FORTH EORLINGAS

THROW THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN INTO THE BBC BREEDING PITS! DEATH TO THE WHITE MAN!

LOOK TO MY MIXTAPE, AT FIRST LIGHT, ON WELFARE DAY

Do it, but fellowship is still the best one of all 3. Can't get more comfy than that

Why post a pic of smaug?

>i always elt like saruman and sauron's names sounded too alike though.
They were both Maiar under Aulë so I thought it made sense that their names were similar.
Not sure if they have shared etymology though.

>Dat shire theme tune

>Main bad guy: Sauron
>Secondary bad guy: Sauron-man
Brave Jackson, Bravo.

Is the Shire the comfiest place in movies?I can't think of anywhere better.

I don't know why this made me laugh. Most likely because I'm retarded.

[flute intensifies]

Shelob's lair.

...

Nice try, Shelob.

>posts Smaug

Try again.

Saru = monkey in japanese
man = man in english

monkeyman

really tolkien?

really?

You can see Bilbo on the staircase.

so?

Is it just me or did this guy do basically fucking nothing in the Two Towers? Even in the battle at Helms Deep he does virtually no fighting at all.

It's like poetry

When did Bilbo have contact with a dragon other than Smaug?

When did Bilbo matter for this thread?

He's a leader. He fought at the gate, was wounded, then lead the final charge.

He was also a walking corpse a few days before.

Theoden was awesome.

I posted Smaug to masterfully ruse you.

Also Nienor is fucking retarded. Scratch that, her entire family was retarded.

>man = man in english

Yeah, I'm going to call bullshit on that one.

>this thread

Shelob pls leave

He also lost all hope like 49 times

>allahu akbar...ALLAHU AKBAR

How the fuck did Jackson pull this off?

How does he get away with it?

Truth, I turned on my tv the other day and fellowship had just started. (Amc or tnt I forget). I ended up watching it all with commercials and still teared up when boromir died. These movies are still as magical to me as they were when my Dad took me to see them at the show.

Why didn't the Eagles just drive a car to Mordor?

Because Tolkien associates industry with corruption.
The power of creation shown by the Maiar under Aulë puts them closer the the power of Eru and that power corrupts them.
If the eagles built cars they would most likely also be corrupted.

Okay be honest, was Ancalagon 3x Smaug's size or 30x?

I always asumed saurumon adopted the name after serving sauron kinda like octavian ceasar

the fuck man. i never knew he wore a helmet. all along i thought he was a bald orc with war paint on his head.

>At that moment, he knew he had fucked up

>3x
>30x

both wrong, Ancalagon was just like 2.5x Smaug

>"You may wonder how I got myself into this mess"
>"Let's go back a bit"
>[Rewind Noises]
>See Melkor singing during the second theme of Ainu
>"Okay, not that far"

kek

...

cant even get a fackin pint in the shire
useless place

I prefer Jacksons designated shitting street look of Bree. That makes the warm pub much more comfy imho.

wich incredibly inappropriate pop song would they play as melkors song ?

But you get the finest weed in middle earth there so

What if Gandalf magiced them up some monster trucks?

>How I met your Melkor theme starts playing
>Bob Saget is narrating about how he lived as a young Theoden

>checked

Manwe Doesn't Know

...

It only applies for americans, in Ralph Bakshis LoTR they had to name him ARUMAN because SARUMAN sounded too much like SAURON atleast for amerifats.

Was the one ring filled with Internet memes?

>All orcs die by one arrow
>This one takes 3 to almost kill

Wow. Sometimes KINO really confuses me.
I guess I'm just not smart enough for it...

also there were like 10 orcs with torches right at the bomb spot, but I guess it just had to be this one

Just the internet in general.

I always wondered if that was some special-breed Uruk meant to survive punishment so he can reach the bomb or if that was just convenience on Jackson's part, since except for this Uruk Legolas never used more than one arrow to kill anything less than troll-sized.

The Helm's Deep scene was a bit daft in general. Legolas skateboarding on a shield was fucking stupid, as was the Gandalf+Eomer saving the day bit. Still great because you get taken up by the spectacle though

LET THE LARD O'ER THE BLACK LAND CAM FARTH

This is heavy nit-picking, but

I never liked how all of the elf warriors die.

How easy it was for the orcs to slowly climb a ladder and get on top of the wall.

No scenes with those kids forced to fight dieing or some shit, for extra emotion

When they ride out and become super soldiers just by sitting on a horse.
(Yeah, when the horse is riding fast, they get pretty powerful, but they stop riding at some point and just stand still fighting orcs)

The best part of the battle, is really the build up.

>How easy it was for the orcs to slowly climb a ladder and get on top of the wall.
to be fair that one did make sense, you can't just push the ladders off since they weigh a fuckton, especially with a lot of Orcs on them, and there were so many that the Elves had no chance of actually keeping the climbers at bay while being shot at with crossbows

It should be pretty easy to just stab an orc climbing a ladder

if it was that simple no castle would ever get conquered pre-gunpowder

Why was he so great bros? The trilogy should have just been him and his tribulations

Why are LotR threads always the best?

Cos the Shire theme starts playing in your head and makes you all comfy.

I know this is a joke but I bet there are actual people out there who think this was Jacskon's idea.

FOTR>TTT>ROTK

Cant get more comfy then fellowship, shire, bree, trollshaws, rivendell, moria, lorien and anduin river

bcuz lotr has no niggers

I had them in the opposite order when I first watched them, but over time I've come to agree with your list

um, not to go full Tolkien autist but here it is:

>Uruk armor actually is cheaply made by the thousands, isn't as thick as it should be.
>Uruk are smarter than Mordor orcs but still retarded as all shit when it comes to siege warfare, so they run straight at a wall (relying on numbers over skill). So you get heavier casualties.
>The majority of those arrows are special woodland elf brand, fired by the Elf equivalent of the fucking Marines when it comes to arrows.


And yes, I know there were no elves there in the book, but I'm just trying to use the book's logic here. Silvan elves were GOAT in battle.

So why are you surprised that they can kill in one hit?

Gandalf WAS there with Eomer though...wasn't he?

he's surprised by the inconsistency in how much it takes to kill them

But the majority of the "one hit" kills are done by elves in the trilogy.

fuck off shelob

youtube.com/watch?v=_SBQvd6vY9s

is "A Journey In The Dark" underrated?

Ancalagon

Maybe i'm just misinformed, but i am sure they rarely did.
Aren't most sieges about starving the others out rather than forcing your way in?

You know the fatality report of all orcs that got hit by one arrow? You see some get hit and go down because at the very least it would hurt like hell but this one orc just had to get to a certain point so so it has extra motivation to not just go down in pain. It also full momentum which helps my last point. This isn't confusing
No one had anything like what he had. It looked like a super hot flare

No, you are just misinformed. Siege warfare was the majority of medieval warfare. What was RARE was open battle (or something that happened considerably less often than sieges...for obvious logistical reasons)

Are you saying Legolas isn't a fucking elf?

Of Tuor and his coming to Gondolin is the best work by tolkien that isn't LOTR

>RotK was 200 minutes long

>orcs
>go down in pain
i don´t think that will happen at all, they are designed to not give a fuck about pain

I think he's just confused because all the other uruks had armor but took one arrow to kill, and the one that blew up the wall had no armor but took 3 arrows with almost no effect. That being said, it was like a berserker so it makes sense somewhat that it just kept going

honestly not enough desu im waiting for the 6 hour cut on the 25th anniversary

Yes yes, i know about sieges being the norm, but aren't sieges only really about forcing your way in, if you have far greater forces than your enemy?
Because its so hard.

>Legolas is able to nail orcs in the head from a mile away all movie
>hits this guy three times non lethally

really made me think

NICE

>twitch chat maymays

No? Are you retarded? I said that the majority of one hits are done by elves...I never said Legolas wasn't an elf. He contributed to that "one hit" list of course. You don't see anybody else doing proficient one hit kills as often as elves. Goddamnit son, the prologue in Fellowship...

Viggo Mortensen also thinks this. He explained that after the first movie was a great success, they went into massive reshoots (the entire trilogy being filmed back-to-back is a myth, they pretty much re-shot everything) with a greatly expanded budget and Jackson's CGI-shitfest tendencies started to emerge.
But it's not entirely Jackson's fault, the books also get more grand & epic and less comfy & personal as the story develops.

Yeah that's what sieges are about but you can't have an action sequence that potentially could last month's or even years