>be me
>25 years old
>Was a massive christfag, got signed up to on a mission trip with a church group
>We get sent to some buttfuck village in the middle of Zimbabwe
>Kinda mad we didn't get sent anywhere more civilized like China or Japan
>Don't really mind it that much, because I got to spend time with QT3.14
>been flirting with her a ton recently, hoping we can reallt get to know eachother
>get off plane and immediatley get put on one if those fucking safari jeeps
>after about 3 hours of schorching, bumpy car ride we arrive
>The whole town is nothing but mudhuts that overlook a shitty river
>the air reeked with feces
>The chief of the village comes out to greet us, translator tells us he is happy we're here
>The niggers in this village are apparently very superstitious, they act like startled monkeys when we step out of the van
>They've never seen white people before, start frisking the whole group
>tell them to back off, they skitter back into their hutts
And that was just the beginning. (Contd.)
Be me
Other urls found in this thread:
youtube.com
youtube.com
twitter.com
You have my interest, let's hear some more OP
inb4 qt 3.14 fucks a nigger or some other cuck shit. fuck you, Sup Forums
come on fucker, keep going
>not writing the whole story in advance
When will you fuckers learn?
>the week goes on, get a feel for life in the village
>the nigs are afraid of the river for some reason
>they refuse to drink the water because of "unclean spirits" dwelling inside it, as the translator claims
>these savages aren't just stupid, they're autistic too
>decide to humor them, gather them around me in assembly
>take a jar of river water
>Wave my hands in the air and shout loudly "JESUS OOGA BOOGA" over and over again
>Hold the jar up to them and tell the tramslator to say God turned the water clean
>He gives me a weird look but Does it anyway
>the nigs erupt in joyous screeching like fucking chimps
>they all clamour to get a drink
>QT looks at me with the "Oh, you!" face
(Contd.)
Holy shit
>ITT: things that never happened
x2
I wonder which song lyrics this story will end with.
/thread
And then they died from parasitic infection. The End.
>as days go by, things go fucking great
>the villagers see me as a fucking saint
>They refuse to drink anything until I "sanctify it" for them
>It becomes my main job while QT preaches sermons
>Job is so easy that it leaves me with tons of free time I can spend with QT
>We really hit it off, do just about all there is to do in the village with her
>"Oh user you crack me up!"
>One night the villagers throw a big party with the animals they caught in the forest
>it's like two birds, but whatever
>Hundreds of other nigs from nearby tribes show up too with some of their own food
>Me and QT sit next to eachother by the fire, eating bird and drinking the water.
>She promises that we can do more stuff together when we get back to Civilization
>fuck yes
>Go to sleep happy
>wake up to commotion in the village
(Contd.)
>never seen a white man
Yeah I stopped reading and caring right there, bullshit op...
every got explosive diarrhea from drinking the river water?
Bet thy rapin'
This is great so far
>JESUS OOGA BOOGA
lost. gonna pay the priest to do that the next time one of my relatives has a kid and baptises it
was lookingt for this post
/thread
pictured: op and his qt
Lemme guess:
They all die from diharrea from the Walter U Made Them Drink
Also this Just Made my whole Day a Lot better, stupid nigs Seem to Cheers me Up in all Situations...
Takes OP 15 minutes to write 10 lines
>step out of my hut as tons of nigs run by
>they're crowded around QT's hut
>oh fuck
>run in and ask what the hell is happening
>QT looks like a fucking holocaust survivor, she's vomiting everywhere
>Translator told me that the "Unclean spirits" in the water are killing her
>Piece together that Spirits=disease
>I accidently caused a plague in the town
>at least 10 other nigs died, they're throwing the bodies in the water as "sacrifice" to the spirits
>they pick her cot up like a stretcher and begin to take her out
>I'm trying to reach her and comfort her, but the nigs are yanking on my clothes
>I'm fighting the nigs back tooth and claw
>Translator screams that they're trying to keep me from getting infected
>"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK I HAVE TO SEE HER!"
>I see her look at me and mouth "A-user..."
>Tears begin to form in my eye as they tale her closer to the river
>Tard strength kicks in, Kick the apes back and sprint like the flash to her stretcher
>Kick the carriers away as I bend down and hold her hand
>"A-user... Please help me..."
>do my best to comfort her
>"Don't worry, it's gonna take alot to drag me away from you"
>"There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do."
>"I bless the rains down in Africa."
>"Gonna take some time to do the things we never had."
Yeah fuck OP
How hard is it really?
fuck you op
Having been to several extremely remote villages in Namibia, Tanzania and Uganda, I can attest, this. No matter how far out you go, people are well aware of the modern world. There are a tiny handful of protected tribes operating in isolation, and OP has never been selected as the one to open relations to them.
This shit's as unrealistic as the accounts of the french and british retards who wrote similar stories about the primitive native murricans, without ever having been to north america. Shit sells to miserable fucks who are so hopeless the only way they can feel better about continuing on in their worthless lives is to imagine that at least they're better off than people not living in their miserable society.
fuck sakes
Poor parasites, being infected with niggers
So glad this didn't end with
>hurr durr niggers died beacuse of me MFW
TOTO kicks ass
KEK
Fucking op
payoff better than expected
Hey, whatever keeps the working class in their place, at their workstations, paying taxes, pacified by religion, entertainment and booze.
Notice me Creepsworks
>no dinosaurs on the floor tho
goddammit user
...
I am high and this really killed my spirits... Geti it?
Fml
lurk moar
Yes!
How would an animal look like that soundend like "lurk lurk"? A pokemon?