The coolest name for Trail Mix.
Alright Sup Forumstards.
I've been here almost 15 years. I've never made a PA request before.
But I need the full force of Sup Forums knowledge for this one.
I need the coolest name for Trail Mix you can think of.
When I first came to Sup Forums I was like you all. Virgin, pathetic, you name it, I was it.
>be 40
>have kids
>only way they will eat well is if I think of cool names for stuff
>so stir fry is Kung Fu Noodles, cos they love Kung Fo Panda
>chopped apples, raisins and maple syrup is Mouse Surprise - the chopped apples are chopped mouse brain, the raisins are mouse droppings, and the syrup is Sticky Mouse Piss
>anything with tofu is Chilled Monkey Brain
>beef is Dead Cow, pork is Pig Legs, etc etc
>etc
The 5yo has just started school and he is hungry as fuck.
>he's mungry
He needs snacks for break time, he needs fuel for his tae-kown-do, I have him doing football, cross-fit, tennis, he is an active little ball bag.
I am making flapjacks and I have those down, they are Ground-Up Dead People.
I take huge delight in giving him names from the profanisaurus, the big pocket on his schoolbag where he keeps the food is the Otter's Pocket, the little side pocket is the Wizard's Sleeve.
Basically I want everybody who meets him to be as repulsed as possible while not actually being able to take offence. He would never swear.
But trail mix, I am fucking stumped. I bought kilograms of nuts, seeds, dried fruit, and plastic boxes, and I've distributed kilograms of this stuff into these containers.
But I can't send him to school until I have a profane name for trail mix.
>Help wu out.