Just had my first tinder hookup. We didn't have sex but she sucked my dick. Toothiest blowjob since a sea lamprey latched onto my knob back in '02.
Basically i showed up, sat on her couch, she kissed me, then took my shirt off then i figered her and she took my dick out and sucked it. Too much fucking teeth though then she said she didn't want to have sex.
Is this how tinder hookups normally go?
...
its kinda hot when unatractive girls want attention so bad that they are willing to slut out w/ a random man. any pictures of those massive jugs op? also, good for you. fuck yeah.
She was a solid 6/10, and said to call her for sex another time she just has a no sex first meet rule
You did good my man
Were you able to come? if so did that fatty swallow? I've always wondered what the conversation is liker"e at the end........."sooo, see the new game of thrones"....."okie dokey see ya lat
No I didn't even cum, my dick was fighting off a mouthful of captain crunch so I eventually just had her stop then got dressed. She said we could have sex next time.
>since a sea lamprey latched onto my knob back in '02.
any pictures of whore?
TRAIN HER IN THE WAYS OF THE FORCE
MAKE HER YOUR PADAWAN
YOU WILL HAVE PERFECT BJ'S WITHIN A FORTNIGHT
This is her tinder
She told me she's been with a bunch of other guys though and just got out of a LTR. I would have expected better
As long as it was bearable let her practice, she'll improve and you wont regret it. gotta start somewhere
She's 25 and had a ltr, she should know better. I almost fucked her though, and I could see her again for sex
not bad. well done op. id take her up on the smash'age. Any chance you can get her to take a picture of her pussy/tits tonight? ..or has that ship sailed already?
>take a picture of her pussy/tits tonight? ..or has that ship sailed already
Naw i want to play it cool, I won't text her again tonight. Her pussy was a fucking jungle though
Now I'm not implying I'm some godly manwhore. I'm not. I just have low standards when im lonely.
I've had great success fucking bitches from tinder and pof. I've fucked more in the last few years than I did the better part of my life without the help of internet dating. My personality via text is much more intriguing than real life me.
Anyways. The sex for the most part has been terrible. Lots of rebound dead fish missionary bitches. LOTS OF CHEESE GRATER BLOW JOBS. And lots of bitches who fall in love when I put the tip in.
On the other hand. Two have been phenomenal. One chick was super kinky and really into me and would have orgasms from scratching her back. She was a college student and for some reason her dorm room was a hotel that had been taken hostage by a said university. The hotel was swarming with drunk bitches and had my first threesome with her roommate. I also met my current girlfriend from PoF who enjoys being a sub and is an adorable 4'8" sheltered dork that is a living embodiment of what I find attractive and we now have a 1 year old daughter. Still fucking bitches from pof tho. Nothing worth talking about, most recent is some psycho who told me she loved me after I fucked her in the ass in the back of her van in a mcdonalds parking lot at 4am. True story.
pof actually works?
I love good blowjobs but bad ones are worse than hitler
Yes once you dodge all the niggerbitches and cam whores
seems like wife material
The only girl to ever make me blow a llad from a blow job I met on pof and put a baby in.
My former fwb used to suck my dick so good but we had a falling out. I could probably fwb this tinder girl but her head game has got to improve
She seems pretty cool Op. GIrls that wanna just fuck and no bother you all the time are cool. Especially ones with their shit together.
Best part is I'm starting law school in September, despite me being a year older than her so she told me she could give me all her notes
LOL it's pheona from shrek
Idk bitches don't really improve. Unless you can knock out her teeth. Ime they either get offended and won't do it anymore or they open as wide as possible for like 2~ seconds then complain and/or return to normal cheese grater status. Like a little brush of the teeth is cool but I've had chicks literally make me bleed from scraping my dick which is why I think I'm not obsessed with BJs. My girl gives a great one but id rather ziptie her to my wall and fuck her until she blacks out.
You fuckin jealous there bud? You wish you had a mighty enough ogre penis to slay that beast don't you bud
she ain't the sharpest tool in the shed you know?
She was looking kind of dumb with my penis and my cum in her mouth while giving me more head
Well, the loads start blowin' and they don't stop blowin'
Personally im more interested in the lamprey story user
Back to the rules where I hit the net swiping
Didn't make sense not to fuck for fun
Your dick gets smart but your head gets dumb
>25
>looks like 52
>be 13
>fishing on lake Ontario with my buddies
>catch a fucking salmon but it has a sea lamprey on it (invasive)
>friend dares me to put it on my arm
>counter dare him to put it on his dick
>lose a series of rock paper lampray rounds and reluctantly attack lampray to the shaft of my dick
>it didn't put many teeth in and actually dropped off on its own
>we then let the fucking thing go even though they're invasive af
Did she offer you some tacos or burritos after?
...
Then that lamprey got eaten by a salmon and some fag ate some of your dick salmon.
I am reasonably attractive, tall, good job, but obviously either a shit personality or a shit tinder bio. Some people say don't put any text on it, some say fill it up with fun garbage..
I have met more chicks on craigslist than I have on Tinder or POF (ZERO for both, tbh).
Wouldn't mind some tips, I have a chick on tinder Ive matched with but havent said anything yet - she's a solid 8/10.
Lately I've been thinking about trying out the Tinder thing. Do you really get pussy or head from that app? Any tips? Also the reason I'm saying fuck it is because I give up on trying to find love in a girlfriend. Fuck that. I just want sex and blowjobs.
This is mine and i at least got a toothy blowjob from shreks girlfriend
This is My first time using it because I'm on my own in a new city
Day 1 was successful with that toothjob
No dog?
Dude... get a pic with you beside a dog. Bitches fucking like the shit outta that.
Mind you I've been off tinder for a year now.
I think you're right cuz i see girls posting "will swipe right for dog pics"
that's a good idea actually
user why did you put a lamprey on your dick ?What did you think would happen ?
Your dick isnt a fucking starfish , it doesnt grow back
Wanna swap user ? Im probably dead average and have fucked girls like pic related from being a combination of in a band / a shitty actor
Post more of her
bump
But... they actually do. They explicitly say so, then do.
It's pretty obvious. Gotta have a doggo to max the pussy grabbing output.
Best thing I ever did was shop my pic to say "tinders hot match of the day" and take pics with my squirrel. Went from getting matches from nigs and fat bitches to getting strange at least twice a week.
Tbh this us one of my few turn-offs. We all got ours, don't hate.
>Your dick isnt a fucking starfish , it doesnt grow back
My sides.
And when we're through
and all my skeet
Is making room in her back seat
this is why i love this place so much. someone archive, fucking gold.
People can be so fucking dumb sometimes.
>what the conversation is like
If you're doing it right, it's logistics only
"yes, i will meet you there at this time"
Anything else is a fucking waste.