Why does it take so many wipes to get my ass fully clean, Sup Forums? Am I not getting enough fiber?

Why does it take so many wipes to get my ass fully clean, Sup Forums? Am I not getting enough fiber?

Age boy?

I'm 22

Because you're fat from not exercising and eating shitty food. Bet all your shits are wet and mushy. You're the worst kind of person

Are your undies dirty?

What would being fat have to do with anything?

No, they are not. I am very hygienic.

Would you let me check? I have some ideas

A lot. And you confirmed the fatness, so.

I know how you feel OP. Its like wiping a fucking sharpie marker.

I guess that explains things then.

How about baby wipes?

I'm not a huge fan of them. Maybe if I found a brand I like I might consider using them regularly. I'll just keep using ordinary toilet paper until then.

That's a good boy. Is it nice to admit that you're different from other boys your age because you're a stinky butt?

wtf lol

Does it make you feel like a little baby?

Yeah bud, big time baby, bud.

You ever jam your thumb in a doorway? Shit sucks as bad as alimony

Poor thing. I just want to help you go potty since you were so good to ask. Do you like the idea of a wet wipe going up your boy bottom?

because you clench, tense up and force the shit out. your body pushes out by squeezing, so imagine the difference between squeezing a log of shit out of your hand or just dropping it.
the proper way to shit is to sit up straight, and...wait. fucking wait, dont force it out. let the shit literally slide out of your ass with no force and youll need 3-4 pieces of tp just to confirm your clean.
pic related: step 1, pre shit
step 2: shitting by force. you cut that log in half and force the other half out of a tiny hole
third step: what happens if you just fucking relax motherfuck RELAX

if you tense up or feel the urge to force out any, you lost already. ever notice how in old movies or media they take a newspaper to the shitter and take what seems like a fucking hour? because back then toilet paper was a bigger luxury and saving it was habit burnt into people. also ever notice 1st worlds have fuckloads of hammeroids while third world shit holes dont seem to have a clinic every corner? because the squat really IS that much better. the toilet, despite being more hygenic and "civillized" has its users smearing shit around their assholes and getting infections.
class dismissed

This is some pajeet shit if I've ever heard it.

My ass is hairy. Can't clean anything with just paper.
I clean it under the shower and use some soap at the same time.
I always have a squeaky clean asshole as a result.

That's true, I wait until I literally almost shit my pants to go to the toilet.

Then I just clench before it slides out like 5 or 6 times just to stop it from coming out so my body forces it even more all by itself, then it comes out with ease, and I barely need to use toilet paper.

But I usually take a shower afterwards.
Also squatting is god tier, unfortunately I'm with a leg cast so it's kind of difficult now, but the difference is day and night.

isnt it weird? they shit on the streets but they dont smear shit on themselves. anyways, the people who actually do this right are those vietnam fucks, they atleast have a hole in the ground or bury their shit. still, you can do this on a civillized toilet, not smear your lower body with fecal matter, you just need to WAIT

see
do it motherfucker

eat fiber