S/fur

s/fur
Here's something fun you can try!
>step 1: pull bed away from wall, so there's a gap just large enough for you
>step 2: roll self in blankets
>step 3: wriggle into gap
>step 4: enjoy

That doesn't sound very enjoyable at all tbh. Especially considering my bed head is the only part near a wall.

Oh & moar pussy/butt + paws pics plz. I think that's a new fetish of mine

Well, I am super duper claustrophilic I guess.

Are you trying to get me stuck between my wooden head board and the wall?

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I usually just wrap myself up in a couple of quilts whilst lying on my bed. It's pretty comfy.

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I have never had an orgasm. It's not that I didn't want to, it's just I could never find anything that could turn me on. I tried interacial, anal, hentai, even orgy porn but nothing could ever arouse me. But finally after years of trial and error, I watched this video and exploded into orgasm.This video is a miracle. This video is the light at the end of my long, dark tunnel.

I would sleep face down on that ass.

Nice copy pasta

Me too tbh

Contest: who has the thiccest ass pics?

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Hawt

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Nice

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Thank you based Sunshine user.

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Hey there sexy, how are you doing? Imagine me pushing you up against a wall, sliding my big hard thick cock deep into your ass your hands bound above your head. my fingers digging into your tits, smacking them biting your neck and shoulder leaving my teeth mark showing your mine. As I whisper in your ear telling you that you are my little slut. making you beg to cum. then i bend you over slide a buttplug into your Ass, slam my throbbing cock into your pussy. As i holding your arms behind your back stuffing your soiled panties inside your mouth so your screams are muffled. As i am pounding you making you beg for more as you cum over and over again. Then i lay you on your back unbound legs on my shoulders my hand gripping your throat so you can hardly breath. my cock buried in your pussy hitting your gspot just right to make you scream squirting everywhere then finally I pull out and cum all over your face chest and stomach.

hey guys i was just thinking man i really love cocks man they are like so thick and long and they fit perfectly into my mouth cuz theyre so warm and fuzzy cuz they be squirtin that cemen cuz its so tasty like mmm so tast semen i eat the semen evry day like a real man cuz your not a real man till you eat the cock for breakfast and like a real man not like those pussy eating little bitches but man i love cock so much because cock is so fucking tasty like at first it kind of tasted liek skin but after sucking about 10 times a day i got the taste for it and man is it incredible cuz dick is so amazing like man you should see me suck on that cock and dont make me go on on how amazing a nice penis in the ass is like man its so incredubly awesome like jesus we both cum at the same time and you feel your asshole expand super a lto cuz its so akmazing like really you shoukd try going after the cocks my dudes cuz they are so tasty like man ive never been so horny im going to really suck a nice big white cock right now cuz man its so tasy lol so bye now :]

CERN IS CONTROLLING THE WORLD WITH 6D MICROWAVES BECAUSE THEY ARE SUBHUMANS ASND RETARDS AND I HATE THEM SO FUCKING MUCN AND LIKE YOU CAN GO THROUGH ALL OF THE DOCUMENTS AND ITS ALL THERE LIKE MAN ITS AMAZING MY NIGGA LIKE HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT YOUR MIND WOULD BE BLOWN BY ALL OF THE RIDICULOUS SHIT THEY PULL AND THEY ALSO HAVE 4D OVENS THAT CAN GAS THE JEWS 80 TIMES FASTER AND THATS HOW THE NAZIS DID IT. CERN GAVE THEM THE TECHNOLOGY TO ELIMINATE EVERY SINGLE KIKE ON THE PLANET BUT IT DIDN'T WORK SO THEY ARE GOING TO MICROWA VE ISRAEL AND THATS GREAT
THATS THE FINAL REDPILL NIGGA
CERN IS ON OUR SIDE

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YOU NEED TO GO BACK LIKE LITERALLY FUCKING NOW. IM SICK OF THESE FUCKING REDDIT SCUM NILTRATING OUR BOARD LIKE A BUNCH OF FUCKING KNOW IT ALLS AND ACTING LIKE THEY ARE THE OLDESTFAGS BUT ALL THEY DO IS LOOK LIKE A BUNCH OF FUCKING ASS-WIPE NEWFAGS. THAT'S RIGHT, BITCH, YOU'RE A NEWFAG. I KNOW THIS MIGHT COME AS A SUPRISE TO YOU BUT I WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT LITERALLY EVERYBODY ON Sup Forums HATES YOU'RE ASS. PLEASE FUCK OFF AND NEVER COME BACK WITH YOU'RE GAY ASS SPACING. DO YOU KNOW HOW YOU POST ON Sup Forums? YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ONE SMALL SPACE BETWEEN YOUR POSTS
LIKE THIS
NOW FUCK OFF, AND NEVER COME BACK

=Sorry to be bothering you but could you do without the profanities? This is a family-friendly subreddit. Every Monday evening me, my grandmother and my little brother browse this subreddit and whatnot. It's very awkward to encounter these bad words while sitting with my family.

Love it.
This would be perfect if the left ass cheek wasn't lumpy and contrasting the other side.

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Hello team, I'd like to preface this message through making you guys aware of the fact that I am a high IQ player. Some of the things I'll do this game may seem irrational at the time - but I can assure you, every action that I take has a greater meaning, and unless you also have high IQ you'll probably not understand the "questionable" things I do this game. In conclusion, do not speak to me like we are equals and there will be no problems, thank you.

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welcome to the floof threads, enjoy your stay

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FACT: NEWGROUNDS WAS FUNNY WHEN WE WERE ALL 12 LIVING IN THESUBURBS LISTENING TO LINKIN PARK WATCHING DRAGONBALL Z DRINKINGPEPSI WHILE PLAYING HALO CO-OP ON THE EASIEST SETTING DURING WHICH WE CONSUMED DORITOS AND LOOKED AT PAINTBALL GUNS ON EBAY IN INTERNET EXPLORER CONNECTED THROUGH AOL ON A 56K MODEM BEFOREHOPPING INTO OUR BALDING FATHERS’ LATEST MIDLIFE-CRISIS-IMPULSE-SPONSORED JAPANESE-BUILT SUV TO HEAD TO THE MALL AND GET MORESKATEBOARDING SHOES AND THIRD-RATE IRREGULAR LEVIS AND MOUNTAINBIKE PARTS BEFORE HEADING HOME, VOTING DEMOCRAT AND MASTURBATING TO THE LATEST SEARS CATALOG WHILE HUFFING PAINT IN YOUR GARAGEBEFORE TALKING TO PEDOPHILES ON AIM PRETENDING TO BE WHATEVERCAMWHORE THEY’RE RANTING ABOUT ON MYSPACE WITH A MATRIX QUOTE/ANIME CHARACTERNAME/TRIPLE SIX-ASTERISK-PARENTHESES-SURROUNDED SCREENNAME BEFORE HEADING TO YOURSUPPOSED “GOOD SCHOOL” IN THE MORNING TO BUY MORE POT TO SMOKE DURING YOUR COUNTER-STRIKE LAN PARTY WITH JIMMY AND THE REST OF HIS FRIENDS TAKING RITALIN AND ADDERALL ANDPROZAC EIGHT TIMES A DAY BEFORE TAKING A CASUAL PASS AT LOCAL, STATE OR NATIONALGOVERNMENTAL FIGURES, LEGISLATURE, OR STRUCTURE TO APPEAR EDGY AND INTELLIGENT IN FRONT OF YOUR BUDWEISER-SNEAKING, LIMP-WRISTED, NEAR-TO-COLUMBINE SOCIOPATHIC “DEEP” FRIENDSWHO PLAY THE VICTIM WHEN THEY START LOSING ARGUMENTS SIX DAYS BEFORE THEIR BOTCHEDSUICIDE ATTEMPT SIMPLY BECAUSE SCHOOL TRAMP NUMBER TWELVE WOULDN’T GO UNDER THEBLEACHERS WITH THEM TO LET THEM GET TO SECOND BASE BEFORE THEIR THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY.

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This is me. Literally me. No other character can come close to relating to me like this. There is no way you can convince me this is not me. This character could not possibly be anymore me. It’s me, and nobody can convince me otherwise. If anyone approached me on the topic of this not possibly being me, then I immediately shut them down with overwhelming evidence that this character is me. This character is me, it is indisputable. Why anyone would try to argue that this character is not me is beyond me. If you held two pictures of me and this character side by side, you’d see no difference. I can safely look at this character every day and say “Yup, that’s me”. I can practically see this character every time I look at myself in the mirror. I go outside and people stop me to comment how similar I look and act to this character. I chuckle softly as I’m assured everyday this character is me in every way. I can smile each time I get out of bed every morning knowing that I’ve found my identity with this character and I know my place in this world. It’s really quite funny how similar this character is to me, it’s almost like we’re identical twins. When I first saw this character, I had an existential crisis. What if this character was the real me and I was the fictional being. What if this character actual became aware of my existence? Did this character have the ability to become self aware itself?

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Hurry up and pull the trigger.

YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM
IMA FUCK DAT ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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anyone mind if I dump a comic?

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I called 1-800-Dominos to order a pizza. Little did I know what an ordeal awaited me. When I ordered the pizza, I heard numerous ethnic slurs towards black people being shouted in the background in Spanish. Thinking it was probably just racous customers, I proceeded to order a large pizza and hot wings, I was really hungry. I then waited patiently for one hour for my pizza to arrive.
At around one hour and thirty minutes, I called and asked what was going on with the pizza. The young man on the phone brazenly told me to "Chill out nigga, yo pizza will be there soon" When I demanded his name, he refused to give it to me, and hung up. I called back and got a different person who swears he has no idea what happened, and that the pizza would be there soon. I waited another half hour before finally calling back to cancel the pizza, hungrier than I have ever been in my life even after surviving hurricane katrina with no food and water for days. I was told ok, fine, we will credit your card, no problem.
I resigned myself to going to bed hungry, but then when I had dozed off for like fifteen minutes, I heard tires screaching outside and someone laying on their horn for what seemed like almost half a minute, waking up all my neighbors. When I went outside to see if someone was shot or what in the world was going on.

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I found none other than the dominos pizza delivery driver with my order now a full TWO HOURS and fifteen minutes late.
The young man, a latino with no nametag, appeared extremely disheveled and absolutely REEKED of marihuana smoke. He was also blaring loud hispanic rap music from his car, loudly playing lyrics glorifying rape. I attempted to check the pizza to see if my order was correct, but the young man refused to let me touch the boxes until I signed the credit card slip and "Gave him an extra something" When I threatened to call his manager he replied "I AM YO MOTHAFU$!@ MANAGER, BITCH". I could not believe that this crazy drug addict was yelling at me. I became extremely nervous that this young man was going to attack me physically, but when I finally got the pizza, I found it was NOT what I ordered, and furthermore, it was stone cold. I mentioned this to the young man, who then grabbed the pizza box out of my hands and threw it onto the hood of my neighbor's car, spraying cold pizza sauce all over his newly simonized Camaro. "You NIGGERS don't DESERVE pizza!" he yelled, brandishing an unlit marijuana cigarette. He then got in his car and peeled out, sideswiping one of my across-the-street neighbor's cars.
I called 1-800 dominos and tried to tell them this story but they said there was nothing they could do for me and that I would have to use the comment form on their website. I have never felt so degraded by a fast food organization in my life. Not only did I not get my food, but I spent the rest of the night cleaning pizza off of my neighbor's Camaro. Previously I ordered from dominos several times a year, but I am certain that unless some STRONG action is taken, I will never eat there again. I am also informing the members of my congregation about this grievous injustices perpetrated against me by dominos, and we will unite against this racist treatment of a poor old black man who only wanted to eat some pizza.

You didn't even post a pic in this one. You can't derail a thread by words alone.

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No one currently knows why Australians are so prone to shit-posting. Perhaps spending so much time with wildlife and other non-domestic animals has had a mental effect on them, causing them to fall back to their primitive ways. Or maybe living in that boring hellhole of a country forces them to seek what little entertainment they can find on the internet, usually at the expense of other people’s fun. “No Aussies allowed” is the general rule you must impose on your website or forum if you want to have an enjoyable time online. Australians are not your friends. They are not friends of the internet. Perhaps in the near future, it might be possible to build a huge online virtual wall around the internet to keep Australians out. Until then, do not reply to Australian shitposters. Hide all Australian threads. Do not interact with the Australians.

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In case you don’t know what Australia is, it’s a God-forsaken country in the middle of nowhere full of kangaroos, lions, giant spiders and crocodiles that are ever always trying to kill you. Inside this wasteland lives a group of people named Australians. Australians are the laziest, most annoying and most troublesome people you will ever have the misfortune of coming into contact with. Their entire diction consists of using the words “mate” and “c*nt” at every opportunity and talking as though they have been possessed by evil kangaroo spirits. Nothing they say makes sense and their words have no value or worth whatsoever. They talk and communicate with each other just because, and they live just because. For some reason, these strange beings, Australians, have decided that ruining their own country isn’t nearly enough, and they need to ruin the internet for everyone else. You could be having a conversation about cats, the different breeds, the pros and cons of having a cat, and then suddenly out of nowhere, an Australian shitposter appears. He might pretend to be interested in cats at first in order to get your trust and pretend that he wants to discuss the topic at hand. Make no mistake; he is here just for one reason; Shit-posting. Australians do not contribute anything to online conversations, they can only shit post.

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I'm 18 and I don't know if I'm bibagel or not, but I find refined bagels attractive, a lot more than wholewheat bagels, in the supermarket there are alot of low fibre refined white bagels that I like, that I want to be close to and kiss but it makes me feel dumb bc I end up blushing and drooling in front of them so they think that I'm shy & calorie counting - I like wholewheat bagels too, there's 5 brands in my local supermarket that i find attractive, but refined bagels well I find almost all the refined bagels at sainsbury's attractive aprocksimately 15/20, refined white bagels always look beautiful, take care of their dough, smell always nice, have nice beautiful shiny top this is the first time I talk about it, I want to know if that means that I'm lesbagel, bibagel, or if it's a teen phase, sorry for the long paragraph : /

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To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily fromNarodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

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The Moon: A Ridiculous Liberal Myth
It amazes me that so many allegedly "educated" people have fallen so quickly and so hard for a fraudulent fabrication of such laughable proportions.

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The very idea that a gigantic ball of rock happens to orbit our planet, showing itself in neat, four-week cycles -- with the same side facing us all the time -- is ludicrous. Furthermore, it is an insult to common sense and a damnable affront to intellectual honesty and integrity. That people actually believe it is evidence that the liberals have wrested the last vestiges of control of our public school system from decent, God-fearing Americans (as if any further evidence was needed! Daddy's Roommate? God Almighty!)
Documentaries such as Enemy of the State have accurately portrayed the elaborate, byzantine network of surveillance satellites that the liberals have sent into space to spy on law-abiding Americans. Equipped with technology developed by Handgun Control, Inc., these satellites have the ability to detect firearms from hundreds of kilometers up. That's right, neighbors .. the next time you're out in the backyard exercising your Second Amendment rights, the liberals will see it! These satellites are sensitive enough to tell the difference between a Colt .45 and a .38 Special! And when they detect you with a firearm, their computers cross-reference the address to figure out your name, and then an enormous database housed at Berkeley is updated with information about you.
Of course, this all works fine during the day, but what about at night? Even the liberals can't control the rotation of the Earth to prevent nightfall from setting in (only Joshua was able to ask for that particular favor!) That's where the "moon" comes in. Powered by nuclear reactors, the "moon" is nothing more than an enormous balloon, emitting trillions of candlepower of gun-revealing light. Piloted by key members of the liberal community, the "moon" is strategically moved across the country, pointing out those who dare to make use of their God-given rights at night!

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Yes, I know this probably sounds paranoid and preposterous, but consider this. Despite what the revisionist historians tell you, there is no mention of the "moon" anywhere in literature or historical documents -- anywhere -- before 1950. That is when it was initially launched. When President Josef Kennedy, at the State of the Union address, proclaimed "We choose to go to the moon", he may as well have said "We choose to go to the weather balloon." The subsequent faking of a "moon" landing on national TV was the first step in a long history of the erosion of our constitutional rights by leftists in this country. No longer can we hide from our government when the sun goes down.

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ies such as Enemy of the State have accurately portrayed the elaborate, byzantine network of surveillance satellites that the liberals have sent into space to spy on law-abiding Americans. Equipped with technology developed by Handgun Control, Inc., these satellites have the ability to detect firearms from hundreds of kilometers up. That's right, neighbors .. the next time you're out in the backyard exercising your Second Amendment rights, the liberals will see it! These satellites are sensitive enough to tell the difference between a Colt .45 and a .38 Special! And when they detect you with a firearm, their computers cross-reference the address to figure out your name, and then an enormous database housed at Berkeley is updated with information about you.
Of course, this all works fine during the day, but what about at night? Even the liberals can't control the rotation of the Earth to prevent nightfall from setting in (only Joshua was able to ask fo

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lease. “WHAT???” said the cashier. “Make that 100” Johnny said. “Okay…” said the cashier. When Johnny was home, he had already bought an iron door. He replaced his dad’s room’s door with an iron door. He opened it, let all of the Tasmanian Devils lose in his room, and locked the iron door. AHHHH! JOHNNY! WHAT THE HE--. The Tasmanian Devils already killed him. He then noticed that… HIS MOM WAS ALIVE!!!!!! “JOHNNY!!!! I AM GONNA KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!” said Johnny’s mom. He opened the iron door, but the Tasmanian Devils already escaped!!! But when he opened the front door, the Tasmanian Devils were already dead… Pet control was there. “Who dares buy these illegal Tasmanian Devils?!” said Dan the pet control guy. Johnny hurried to school. At the recess area, There was a forest to the west of the school. Johnny’s friend, Mike dared Johnny to go in the forest. Rumors spreaded about a mine in the forest. Johnny went in. “This isn’t so bad”, said Johnny. Then he found some TNT lying next to a mine… “This could come in handy…”, said Johnny. He put the TNT in his backpack. He ran into school, holding a box of matches. He quickly put them in his backpack. The bully, Chris, was walking in school “HEY CHUBBY!”, said Johnny. JOHNNY PULLED OUT THE TNT, SET IT ON FIRE, AND THREW IT! But Mrs. Chesterfield was coming out!!!!! Mrs. Chesterfield caught it and threw it in the trash. BA-BOOM!!! THE TRASH CAN EXPLODED!!! “At least that was our cheapest one.” Said Mrs. Chesterfield. (Saturday). Johnny woke up. “My birthday

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