Please state the nature of the medical emergency

Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

I have space aids

I tried to warn you.

Riker said the b**** was clean....

>trusting Riker

Space niggers stole my bike

I'm pretty sure you just left it in the holodeck. Also, please refrain from using that language on the ship.

My finger feels kinda funny.

Tell me about it.....but, it doesn't seem to have any problems.

My borg cock hurts

Well, I guess I'd say... Jerry Lewis funny. But not dead. I mean, it seems ok, but still, doesn't feel quite right.

bout 5 years ago i had what's described as a sharp pull down on my center chest (sternum)
i'd be in the shower and tilted my head down and exhaled out and bam, i'd feel it.
i'd be driving and i'd turn my head and bam, feel it again.
i'd be walking and i would step hard (full foot on ground) and feel it again.
went to doctor. did ekg. nothing.
after a while it went away.
doc gave me stomach medicine, thinking it might be a bacteria. i don't eat spicy foods.
also gave me something to lower my cholesterol.
the feeling never occurred while working out.
once in a while i'll feel a small pinch around my center of chest.
the feeling never last long than a sec or two.
no pain in either arms/shoulder or back.
also had x-rays done.

what can it be doctor?

Super Space AIDS

I can fix that.

Couples threads up there's a rekt thread that needs your attention. kek

troi told me she was clean!!!!

Oh, what a shame....I just misplaced my mobile emitter. Looks like I'm stuck here.

Ripped major ass... Now it won't stop bleeding

Why would you trust *anyone* on the Enterprise?

...

...

Dude, who the fuck would hesitate there?

What happened to your goatee?

...

...

kek filename

Eh, still worth it.

She just went on and on about MY emotions. I wanted to kill myself. Easiest lay in the entire Federation, and nobody ever fucks her twice.

Just imagining that thick space dick pounding in and out of her tight betazoid pussy.

Lay off him Harry, at least he's getting laid.

...

I LOST THE KEY TO MY CHASTITY BELT! I HAVE NOT CUM IN EONS OP! PLEASE SEND HELP!

I got laid too....dozens of times!

I TRIED TO WARN YOU

...

Given your track record, it's probably best if you stay in that belt.

Seven tried to rape me in the jefferies tube.

Fuck you. I want to fuck space pussy. I won't find shit in THAT log. I need another captains log...

Doesn't count

...

I got more pussy than you. Fuck, even the ship's dyke went for a ride on my robo-dick.

...

Why do you think we let her on board?

This space pussy is set up for easy access.

Trust me, you do NOT do it for me.

I have a tribble that somehow ended up in my ass. But it keeps eating my poop and making babies.

Fuck you. I NEED ANDY SIXXXXXX

Happens more often than you'd think. We once had to treat an entire graduating class at the Academy for Tribble Rectal Syndrome

Yeah, but you couldn't feel or enjoy it.

I feel like I'm a girl...but I have a dick.

Cure me, Doc.

...

> snip!

We had a briefing about this before we left port.

...

That was your class, wasn't it Captain?

My tit's gonna rot off.

And you didn't let her? I'm afraid you're suffering from an acute case of homosexuality.

please discontinue this activity

...

B'Ellana won't let me rape her in the jefferies tube.

Did you notice the symptoms before or after you turn into an ape in this episode's bizarre transporter accident?

What part of "fully functional" is unclear to you, chink boy?

Now shut the fuck up, get back to tactical, and resume kicking yourself for not taking Seven up on her offer of free pussy.

We had it on the ship!

You wanna leave my wife alone....'ensign?'

...

Hi guys, am I late for the harry roasting session?

Im being beaten and sodomized by an angry crowd ?

She's sublimated her aggressive urges with half the male crew, you cuck

Harry's still alive, so no.

My.... GOD

She tasks me!

She tasks me and I shall have her!

There's an open hole in the spit-roast

No she hasn't. Believe me, I know B'Ellana.

>computer open holodeck program: breedlust Warf. in crease genital barbs by 50%
>rename this program "riker'ssexyfuntime"
>replace command "end program" with "duplicate warf"
>replace command "pause program" with "enlarge Warf"
>override all safety protocols and save program

Like these tits?

...

...before... because that hasn't happened yet. Does that happen?

Are you bothering about with those insignificant little...

Oh, wait, is that harry kim? Lol. What a faggot. Wouldn't even let Seven fuck him.

> shows tricorder
Taken last night

>4

Must be some kind of weird time loop, then

...

i love slidding logs while watching star trek with the fam

Unacceptable. I'm telling her and Tuvok. You're in for it now, buster.

...

Andy Sixx's Logs Of Shit Slidding Down My Fucking Throat

> might discover I took that pic!

One day you'll get it scooter

Do you?

McGregor can't go 12 rounds

...

Grow up

My, the sickbay's crowded tonight.

Mmm, Vorik, I can't wait to get that uniform off you and OH SHIT TOM THIS ISNT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE

of course, retard. who doesnt

It's too late. I'm already on my way to Tuvok.

This is your future, child!!

Oh shit, I knew I shouldn't have fucked Riker. Sorry Neelix.

What the--?

We can get through this, Kes.

This denial of the truth - that your wife has been ridden more times than the Earth-to-Lunar shuttle by every member of this crew - is...

Not logical.