Feels thread/ Aka Sad Nigga Hours

Feels thread/ Aka Sad Nigga Hours

I was 12 years old, in 7th grade. I was always a lonely mute faggot. Until one day, some french girl moved to my broken public school. She sat at the table with me and we were both silent for weeks until she made new friends, left the table, then migrated with her friends back to my table. We started talking when she saw me doodling and asked if I could draw her some character from 'Lou!' which is a cartoon she watched in France. She had the cutest french accent. I said, "Sure, I can do that." and I went home to trace over my mom's iPad a character from the show, I colored it n' stuff. The next day, I handed it to her and she loved it. She hung the picture in her room and when she moved apartments, she hung it in her new room. She still has it in her room after high school, we stayed with each other as best friends all throughout high school.

I ended up developing feelings for her in high school and watched in pain as guys asked her out, hoping she says no. And she did, she was not interested in boys at the time. She became a sad girl in junior year as a lot of her friends left her, she had almost none except for me and some girl. I held her hand in this situation and tried to reconnect friendships, and tried to set things straight. She appreciated me a lot more and wanted to be around me all the time. And I thought this was the perfect time to tell her I love her, and I planned out in my head how I was going to do it, and every chance that came up, someone would run up and interrupt our conversation or she wouldn't be in the same spot I expected her to be, shit like that.

She said she did not like me like that, but she did begin getting closer to me, she told me a lot of things I did not know, her being molested as a child, abuse she still gets at home and her possibly going back to France. Everything led up to senior year, when expresses that she loves me a lot. And she wants to be with me forever. My heart melts. My insecurities are gone. We are dating! Senior year ends, and we hang out all summer. Playing vidya games and walking in the park. Sitting on the platforms of the playground and talking about our days as the breeze hits our faces. We talk about what it'd be like to be an adult.

Her birthday comes around, she is 18, and we celebrate by sneaking into her room and kissing, we begin wrestling while kissing because we're weird. And then she whispers that she wants to have her first time. I lay down on her bed. She unbuttons, unzips my pants, pulls down my pants halfway and presses her tongue against my boxers on my cock. She pulls down my boxers and it smacked her face, she starts giggling and stares at it for a solid 2 minutes while giggling. It made me harder, my cock was twitching. She gets the courage to put it in her warm mouth. Watching her lips wrap around my cock made me hornier than the actual feeling of getting my cock sucked. This was both of our first time though, so I don't know. She closed her eyes and moaned, and sucked for 2 minutes until I pulled her away because I felt like I was going to cum. I blueballed myself so I could fuck her pussy. I told her to get on her back and she was a bit hesistant, she admitted it was because she did not shave and because we had no condom. I did not care about the hair, it was not even bushy, they were small soft brown hairs. I trusted myself to pull out. I pulled off her jeans with her panties and threw them in the direction of the old drawing I made for her. I pulled her towards me. I rubbed my cock against her pussy and watched her flinch and start laughing. She is very ticklish. I could see her wiggle her hips as I pushed in my cock. I pushed my cock in really hard, she screamed and she pushed me away.

She was bleeding. And I was confused, because even though I was a 17 year old kid that explores the internet, I didn't understand the concept of popping a cherry. And neither did she, she let me keep fucking her even though it was uncomfortable. I finished on her stomach and I had dry blood on my dick.

6 months later, after casual fucking in her room, her mom comes in and she starts hitting me. I run outside and ran home a short 1.5 miles because I didn't have a car. Apparently, my girlfriend got a beating from her mum and her dad, because her dad found out. I walked her to my home where she stayed for a couple months until she talked to her parents and they settled things. This was not related to the situation but she had to go to France for 6 months because of immigration issues or something. I told my mom a week before, that I wanted to stay with my girlfriend for 6 months, and after 2 weeks, I go to France and we hang out for a whole 6 months.

Hugs everyday and we sleep in the same bed. I meet her grandpa who was a charming racist and her grandma who was an amazing cook. We did many french things until the government was like "You can come back and actually stay here." And I am so happy, because me and her will go to college together when she comes back. We were supposed to leave the same day, and on the same plane, but her parents rescheduled her flight for 2 days later so they could get some documents. She dropped me off at the airport and wished me a safe flight, as she handed me Prince biscuits, and inside there was a note saying "I love you, my strawberry." I arrive in Ohio and I run to my mom's car and she drops me off at home. The first thing I do is text my girlfriend. We text each other how much we miss eachother, what our plans our. The first thing she wanted to do is fuck in my room. The next day she talks about how we'd look for jobs, then get an apartment, and split the rent. But before we do that, we fuck passionately. Its like 6 am in france, and she messages me saying she's going to drive to the airport to fly to me now. I didn't read the messages because I was asleep. She said "hello *user*? are u asleep? sleep well, i love u" and she basically talks about she stopped at mcdonalds, she complained about it.

I woke up and messaged her back something like "Hey, *girlfriend* what are you doing now?" And I didn't get a response, I assume she's sleeping on the plane. It gets to around the time she should be here and no response. I start freaking out when its night time and nothing happens. And I think maybe she had to set her parent's stuff up or something. I don't know where they would be, my girlfriend is gonna tell me when she arrives. Its the next day, and I start getting a bit scared and message her again, then after 3 minutes, I just call her. I don't know her parents number so I just keep messaging her and calling her. I messaged all of her social media. I asked her friends. I fall asleep waiting and crying, I was worried. I wake up and I begin crying and I got several responses from her friends in france saying she is dead. My heart skips a beat, and drops to my stomach. I am telling them its not funny for them to make a joke like that. I cry the whole day and I buy a plane ticket to france to confirm if this shit is true. It was, she died in a car accident, a truck smacked into the side of her car, her parents saw it happen, they were behind her in their car. The funeral was scheduled 3 days later. It was a closed casket, so it must have been bad.

A year later, it still hurts. I think about her everday, I replay videos we made together, I recently got a voice clip of her saying "I love you" in french installed in a tie dye bear. Because she's a spiritual gal, that was the idea. The background noise is still in the clip. I backed up all of videos and pictures of her on all of my drives, and I've printed our pictures.


That's my story Sup Forums.

Sorry, for my writing. I am not good at it, but I'd rather vent.

didn't read

...

Life's shit, but you have to move on and get back in the scene else you will spiral into your own demise. You will find someone else. Do you have a job?

Wow. This seriously is sad. I feel for you, friend. I can't give any advice as I have never and hope I never will suffer such a hurtful experience.
I hope only the best for you and her family.
May her best wishes live on with you.
I don't know what else.

If you want.

Also forgot to ask, is pic related? You probably look at the photos all the time but don't, lock them away.

I just got a bj from my girlfriend a few minutes ago. Feeling pretty good right now.

Pic is related.

Op here, pic related

hey man if you ever want to talk about it with someone, i really feel for you. Life isn't fair, neither is it unfair, but life just is the way it is. What made you decide to post your story now on Sup Forums?

This is so sad. Got any nudes?

Fuck off.

I'll trade my dead GF nudes for your dead GF nudes.

These people are basement dwelling virgins who've never experienced anything remotely like this. They wouldn't be joking like this if it had happened to them

>How real is this monthly giveaway?

bestshop.bordenlake.com

>I was 12 years old
>my mom's iPad
Slit your throat.

The anonymity and the same feeling of relief I'd get from venting. Also, if someone says their opinion here, at least I know they are honest.

I'll donate $100 to her grieving parents if you post her nudes.

The guy who said fuck off wasn't me, but you can still fuck off.

No u

>feels thread

>inb4 mandatory "This isn't even my final feel" picture

Winrar

Lol I hate when that happens

>post how I'm feeling in a feels thread
>no not those feels
If you're so triggered by it your hugbox /r9k/ is that way

wow that's a sad story. im sorry, user

...

actual feels

OP here, I actually like this a lot because she would do shitty edits/collages like these.

can you post more pictures of her? She's hot af

btw i didn't read your original post so did you fuck her or no?

I did fuck her. Its in the post.

LOL

nice! Can you send me nudes? I'm a girl and I'll end you some in return

Fuck this cunt. Glad she's dead. Neck yourself next faggot

You are a virgin and will never be touched by a woman

Now is not the time, spambot-chan!

I feel like you missed an important bit of the story..

I'm really sorry for that user! Hope you get better as soon as possible!! Be strong

The worst possible thing you can do to achieve happiness in life is to linger on your past experiences, positive or negative. Lingering causes stagnation and stagnation spells D. E. P. R. E. S. S. I. O. N.
Victimization of oneself feels good subconsciousy. It allows you to reconnect with the feels you've felt since her death and, consequently, to purify your soul (through tears). You only need to purify once, thoroughly. Or 50times.but it has to stop.
By lingering you make your soul muddy over and over again, resulting in a vicious cycle of depression that leads to stagnation, which in turn increases your yearning/nostalgia for whay you used to have, used to be, making you sadder and sadder up to the point of worshipping of that which is now lost forever.

I've been cheated on by a girl I really loved. She contacted me recently to hang out and we wounded up fucking on several occasions. I was generally feeling a lot happier before, when I moved on and wasn't thinking of her. Now i think about her all the time. Am i happy? Not anymore. Truly.

Put all your belongings that have anything to do with her in a box and put it somewhere safe. Open it when you have a family of your own and cry your heart out. But do not waste your life on "what if's".

Out with the old, in with the new.

Best of luck

am seeing the good and the ugly of Sup Forums rn, i didnt even know there was any good