I've got asperger's. I don't know what people are thinking even when it should be blatantly obvious (i.e...

I've got asperger's. I don't know what people are thinking even when it should be blatantly obvious (i.e. I think people are mad at me when they're withdrawn after a bad event) and can't sympathise with people. I've found I'm beyond abysmal at helping people out when they're feeling down. Girl who likes me had a shit day. Asks me to help her feel better before she sleeps. Don't make her feel even the tiniest bit better. Any tips friends?

Will post more if I get advice that helps.

Everyone feels the exact same things as you bro.
If something makes you happy, understand that it also makes other people happy, not everyone, but you can find so many people that feel the exact same way as you do. Just be yourself, tell your jokes, speak your passion, until you find people that truly understand the things the way you do.
That's all we are all trying to do man, surround ourselves with people who understand and love us for who we are.

I know that much but I've got severe depression. Not a lot makes me happy and I don't know when something I do makes others happy or if they're just pretending. On top of that, I can't understand how people feel when I do something for them. I can't gauge their emotions or whatever.

Bro. Everything makes you happy. Fucking kitties? Fucking tell someone a bomb ass joke, watch them laugh, and understand that you can make everyone happy all the time.
Don't be afraid to fail on a joke either, because that's just as funny if you learn to laugh at yourself!

Confirmed aspie here.

Sounds like you could use some people skill training. There are lots of free resources online, girlschase.com for example. I like youtube channels charisma on command, and school of life, which I think has a video on exactly what you mentioned - making people feel better after a bad experience.

You also said youre depressed OP. I'd say prioritize getting to the bottom of that. It probably has a lot to do with your lifestyle and how you think about stuff - meaning you control it

I'm trying to wrap this up quickly OP cause I'm near headed into class.

Anywaymyexperience is similar, depression and lack of social skills.I started working on pickup artist stuff like six years ago. I'm still not really a pickup artist, but I'm reasonably well liked now. It was only like a year ago I decided to address the depression. I should have done that first, because once that becomes moremanaged everything else got easier.

Good luck OP!

i also dont understand why people would want to be that way, i once felt that way but since i realized it was tstupid to behave like an animal i started to ignore feelings conciously.

now i can pretty much ignore other peoples feelings and cant even understand them when they make a stupid emo comment.
also other people have a really hard time understanding what i say because they always try to read into metaphors and second intentions, but i always mean literally what im saying

As a fellow autist, step 1 is: don't go to Sup Forums for advice. Assuming you're not just trolling, in which case, carry on, I'm sure this thread will wind up pretty entertaining in that context.

Try smoking weed, if you're comfortable with it and it's not dangerously criminal where you are. I'm in BC Canada, so cannabis is more common than alcohol here. Particularly handy because not only is alcohol "not a good social lubricant" for us, but there tends to be more people stoned or getting stoned at house parties or similar social gatherings here than there are drunkards. (Outside of high school house parties, anyway.)

The point there ^ being to get comfortable enough with socializing with relatively small groups (2-6 people, yourself included, ideally 4 people so that when 2 have mini-convos with each other, you can have a mini-convo with the other person, without "third wheeling" or being left out).

If you don't wanna smoke, s'all good. In my experience (it may help that my experience is Canadian though), stoners love chilling with non-stoners just as much when they're smoking etc. It's a great social environment because, regardless of how socially disadvantaged or consequentially socially anxious you may be, everybody around is "super chill" and not judgey or whatever even if they are that kind of person in general. And "chilling with them" in their circles etc, whether you're smoking or not, is like a psychological tribal induction type thing for neurotypicals I've noticed, you're pretty much instantly "a good friend" when you've participated in a cannabis sanctioned social pact.

And it's a lot easier to observe and analyse people's social patterns, and for people to "lay bare" their interests, worldviews, etc so you can figure more out about people and know how to engage with them individually.

As far as the actual topic of comforting girls goes, you really just have to be as empathetic as possible. Imagining yourself in their position and acting accordingly.

I think most people who have Sup Forums are on the sperg spectrum somewhere. No one normal or mentally sound comes here and stays.

Have you tried not giving a fuck?
Just fucking shit up, gauging peoples reaction and building off that?

Yeah all of that goes hand in hand.

Prioritize socializing and spending times socially/platonically with girls as much as possible. Learning "how to be a man" is one thing, actually learning as much about females as possible without it being forced or intentional is just as useful because god knows that's going to be the knowledge that's most useful for reacting to spontaneous, novel romantic interaction you haven't prepared for or considered beforehand.

Probably partially true. But avoiding reinforcing the flaws won't be helped by seeking advice here lol

not op here. u actually mean to say that ppl should go with the "social " flow even when it makes them do harmful and stupid things?

this guy has a grip on smthing here. but not giving a fuck all the time leads nowhere though

Nah man see I'm fine with laughing at myself and shit but I've got a friend who's vulgar. Likes savage jokes and shit but I can't tell if making an even slightly savage joke would offend her.

I'm not really looking for a hookup. I'm looking to help friends and potential partners feel better. I want to understand what they're feeling so I can actually help. Suffering from depression, all I do is receive help but when they're the ones who need help, I'm completely useless. Cheers for the youtube channels but not really interested in the site.

Not a fan of smoking or smokers. Ever smoker I've had the displeasure to meet has talked about nothing but fucking smoking. Cheers though.

ive tried and i find out i can do it if i have a motivation beyond spending time with ppl and listening to their bullshit but it is really exhausting

Well, not giving a fuck, until you find something to give a fuck about, then still not really giving a fuck, while definitely giving a fuck, if that makes any sense.
That's how girls are all the time.

>
Point in that was just to show how poorly I gauge reactions/feelings

I have the same problem, but weirdly can read people really well, as long as whatever they are saying/doing isn't directed/related to me.

For example friends will have me near by when flirting with a girl, just so I can tell them if she is into them or not.
But if a girl is flirting with me, I can't see it.

Just understand that even when she laughs, she might not think it's funny.
People do a lot of stupid shit, to hide their insecurities, to take advantage and control momentum of any kind of given situation you can think of.
Feeling this is a lot of choosing how you want to end up, and deciding how to get there I think.

im an aspie and do this

i see ur point i too have experienced that not giving a fuck about shit makes doing shit easier and minimizes the human mistakes factor.

but at some point while not giving a fuck u start evading things instead of doing them.

im an ace at isolating myself from external shit by now

thats because they're never flirting with you

Don't worry about reactions bro.
Imagine being in a room full of 100 people, every single one of them has a different reaction! They're all just feeling their own way about things, exactly like you are. Some people feel the exact opposite, some people agree with you entirely, it's just the endless amount of opportunities you can make with every one of those people that bothers me.

Just don't give a fuck until you really want to, need to even, then you'll find yourself in a place you want most.

that's not true (not op btw)

you're just trying to be edgy

I am similar to a certain extent and it's caused me pain to realize that I've missed out on some women because I didn't pick up on their cues

but i dont want to do nothing, i just want to be.

Can you be around nothing?
Seems easy, but sometimes it's condescending.
Personally I think as soon as you can be around EVERYTHING and be find AND NOTHING and be fine, I think you've figure out life.

It's not cause you have Aspergers, user, it's because you fucking suck. Gf has Aspergers, she does just fine.

Only reason I found out the girl liked me was because she was overly complimenting and basically ended up spelling it out for me.

>hurr durr gonna speak on a topic I have no idea about because someone I know has it
Your input isn't needed here.

if you don't care, just do

I care immensely. I just don't know what about. Like I can't tell if they're happy, sad, angry, etc. 5 years of talking to my friend daily online, meeting up and living with her and her parents for 2 weeks, and still I feel like she hates me.

...