Been on hrt for almost a decade now. Started in my early teens...

Been on hrt for almost a decade now. Started in my early teens, not early enough to not turn out a massive 6 foot tall tranny. Still not transitioned because when I came out to my parents a few months into hrt they went full ballistic on me and completely destroyed my self-confidence. I'm too damaged to ever become comfortable with myslf. Too ashamed to transition in their presence, too sympathetic towards them to completely cut them off while I do what needs to be done, too paralyzed by their reaction if I were to an hero myself. Im so tired. I just want this to end. I want someone to goad me into taking my life. Please help me.

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I was going to tell you to kill yourself, but since that's what you want, I hope you live a long life filled with anguish and pain.

How old are you?

About to turn 23.

The first step to solving a problem is to figure out the root of the problem.

From what you describe, it sounds like your transgender situation is the root of your problems. If that's the case, I would ask the question: is it worth it to you to cause yourself such anguish and familial distress?

There are choices to make in life. I kind of see it like this: If I thought I was a chick, and I kept telling my parents I was a chick, and they hated it, I would probably just dress like a sissy and fuck my ass in private at home, but never show that side of me to my family. Being accepted is important in human life, but sometimes we aren't dealt the hand that we desire. Sometimes growing up means adopting behaviors that make you uncomfortable, but might be more respectful and/or loving (or perceived as) to your loved ones such as family.

I think you can still live a fulfilling life if you come to terms with separating your personal life and preferences from your family life and/or work life, etc.

The important thing is to remember to be humble and empathetic. Too often people of certain minority groups are very self centered even if they claim otherwise, and don't really think about how their decisions have affected others.

convince me transgender people don't just think the grass is greener on the other side, thinking all their unhappiness is tied to their sexual identity and on the magical other side it's so much better

...

Well, you're in this deep, fuck it. Finish what you started. Or are you having regrets in doing this? Also, killing yourself will not make things better for your parents.

You're confusing transsexualism for transvestitism. The former is anguish over being your birth sex, the latter is getting off to the idea of dressing up as the opposite sex. This isn't a fetish for me, I feel physical revulsion knowing how I look, about having a penis. Not really something that could be compartmentalized, unfortunately.

I don't think that transition is a panacea - anyone who peddles that line is a liar. What I and most trans people hope to get out of transition is being able to rise above these feelings of anguish and go on to live life without constantly being dragged into the dysphoria pit.

No regrets about taking hormones, I'd feel even worse without any medical intervention. I just can't get over the things that my parents have said and done to me because God forbid they have a tranny son.

Show your fucking tits faggot. How can we help if we don't know what you look like.

Your parents look forward to you "transitioning" after their death into a 40-yo tranny that no-one wants.

Go on - you have already betrayed your ancestors, destroyed what your grandfathers and great grandfathers, what hundreds on generations fought for when they survived the greatest hardships and spread passed genes on. All for your egoism and feelings.

Post pics we'll tell you if you're slightly passable or should an hero

You have nations full support you freak faggot mental patient. You should give your parents shit for not raising you properly.

I don't want you people to fap to me dingus, I want someone to hit me where it hurts so I can put myself out of my misery.

what are the feelings of anguish over and what is the dysphoria pit?

No, I was just making an analogy. I wasn't saying that dressing up = transexualism.

If I have to be blunt, what I was trying to say, is that perhaps you need to act like a man around your family for their sake and live your private life however you want. Visit them once a year or something if it's a big deal. Your family's feelings matter too, even if they are old school thought processes.

your kind doesnt deserve to live. Please kill yourself you mentally ill freak

Realistically, regardless of if you transition there is a high chance of you killing yourself. If your family treats you so badly you may as well just go for it. It won't affect your chances of suicide. For example, I will never take hormones replacement therapy despite how badly I want to be a woman. I know that I will not be able to ever be beautiful. I know I will never be happy with my body. In my dreams I am a woman. I'm mentally ill. I've been depressed and suicidal since I turned 14. I'm only currently alive because I have to wait at least 4 years before my life insurance will cash out to my boyfriend and family if I have committed suicide. I am a semi attractive man, but hate my body and myself. I will never bee the woman I want to be.

Funny thing is though I'm not killing myself due to the lack of being a woman. I'm killing myself because I'm honestly just a fuckup that will never be worth anything. My boyfriend likes me, but he doesn't know anything about it.

Do what you want Hun. None of this matters. In the end you and I will be in the same place. If there's a heaven we will both be beautiful after we finally end it all.

it's the sensation that there's something fundamentally wrong with your body, it's not physical pain, it's just this great sadness that swallows you up and leaves you a dissociated mess. You have trouble doing simple things like getting out of bed or taking a shower.

Can't live that kind of lifestyle. I'm an only child in a very small family, they literally have nobody else.

That all you got you fucking faggot?

post pics

To clarify, I have two more years. I've already got everything planned out. The will, the funeral plans, who will get the money, etc. Soon I will be able to do what needs to be done without feeling guilty.

They no longer treat me badly, per-se. It was a huge deal the first few years after coming out, shaming me when they found female clothes, yelling at me, telling me how ugly I'll be, pretty standard stuff. Now it's more like they pretend that nothing is wrong except when they tell me that my tits are showing through my shirt, makes me feel like dirt. I had a pretty bad mental breakdown a few years ago, I scared the shit out of my mom and she was like "fine do whatever the hell you want I'd rather you do this than kill yourself" and that's so reprehensible? She and my father damaged me irreparably at a time when I actually had a sense of self-worth, and now they expect me to put all that behind me and transition because I'm suddenly too crazy for them to handle? And yet despite all of this I can't bring myself to hate them like I know I should. I still care what they think, hence the shame of subjecting them to a freak tranny.

I literally have no one to live for other than my parents. You on the other hand have someone who loves you. Please don't subject him to this.

...

He will be fine. He will have everything he needs. I've been paying into this policy it's about 300k. He will not need anything for a long time. It's about the best thing I can do for him. I'm a waste of space. Always have been. And honestly he's far too good for me. I have long ago come to terms with everything. He will hurt. But he's a better man than I ever could be. He will be ok. And my death will give him a better life than my life could provide him.

>Whaaaaahhhhhh I'm a whiny little faggot
>It's all my parents fault, yeah, I know better than them, I'm not another failure in the evolution chain
>If it wasn't for them I wouldn't feel so so ugly and no friends =°[

You can't put a price tag on the love someone feels for you. He'll be devastated, I know I'd be, and not even that sum of money would plug the hole. If he loves you then you are not a waste of space.

Okay good start now crank it up, make me feel like a real piece of shit until I can bring myself into the kitchen and slit my jugular.

Besides, hes been here on visa since he was eight. I intend to marry him, by the time two years is up he will have to renew his Visa. When I'm dead he will have enough money to get his permanent residency or to move wherever he chooses. It will hurt at first. In the end.... He will be better off with me dead than he will ever have been with me alive. It'll be the only good thing I'll have ever done with my life.

You take hormones for 10 years, but still live as a man? Wtf is wrong with you? Either be a man and stop taking hormones or live as a woman.

Easier said than done, mate.

soundcloud.com/deadgenius

>calling people faggots
>when you're literally a mentally ill retard who wants to get his dick chopped off
Lol

>Okay good start now crank it up, make me feel like a real piece of shit until I can bring myself into the kitchen and slit my jugular
Lol guilt tripper

I'm a hypocrite, you expect anything better from someone like me? Anyway, that was some weak shit.