What's the best suicide method?

What's the best suicide method?

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oh for fuck sake nobody gives a single flying fuck that you are going to suicide ,and the ones act like they do ,is just lying so that at the end of the day they can tell people they saved a life and shit,go breathe some helium you fucking attention seeking faggot

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Here are my personal favorites-
>Stab yourself with a rusty pointy object
>Let a frothing animal bite you
>Don't use condoms in an orgy

Post suicide methods that are 100% guarenteed to work.
>Who cares how long it takes or how much it hurts! I just wanna die!!!!!

Eating your own shit. Defo die doin that.

Google "exit bag"
Thread is done.

Yeah, I'm sick of thinking about suicide.

Why the fuck don't we have these yet?

I guess I'll just take out life insurance, then hire a hitman through Tor. The prices are pretty fucking decent, so long as you're a poorfag like me. The more wealthy the target, the more they seem to charge.

This. Cheap and easy.

Dying of old age.

Life has dropped us guns, opiates, closeable carotid arteries, and other attainable pathways. It even makes depressed. All you need to do is to take advantage of an available suicide method and kill yourself by it irl.

Take a bunch of pills while filling car full of carbon monoxide, than slit wrists vertically, and proceed to shoot self in

Face with shotgun (make sure you have a full choke)

>what's Nembutal?

Wrong.

He was just asking what the best method was, you fucking retard.

>easy
Actually quite complex, finding pure helium is hard, and doing it correctly isn't that easy.

Life.

Nembutal
m.youtube.com/watch?v=z7BVLSC7YF4

declaring war to north korea

nitrogen

what about train?

Video of a video?

I guess the best one if you do not have access to a gun is a grill with wood coal and carbon monoxide poisoning yourself. maybe including some alcohol and meds, too to make it easier

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this shit is mild asf. normie

post sth better, little whore

Pasta

>you go up to the top of a roof
>string piano wire tight across the front edge at neck level
>tie a cord to your foot and the other end to the building so that you'll be above sidewalk level when its fully stretched
>then you put super glue on your hands
>and put your arms around the front of the wire and then back to touch your head
>then you lean forward, so the piano wire cuts your neck but not your elbows
>when the cord goes taut, you'll be hanging upside down with no head....except your head will be in your outstretched arms thanks to gravity and the glue, staring at someone upside down and spewing blood everywhere.
>And some poor bastard will be traumatized for LIFE.

Shotgun to head

Can be fucked up in so many ways. You risk blowing your face off and dying an agonizing and slow death. Or possibly surviving somehow and end up heavily sedated or comatose for the rest of your life

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Working raising a family being loved hopefully retiring and dying in your sleep ages 100

suicide isn't for cowards. i have always wanted to leave this planet. think i'll do so one day .. i even have this dumb suicide plan in my mind

Haha beta prob suicided outside some girl's house he's been stalking cause "that will show her" Betamax

tell us?
Im for the train anyway, I just dont have the balls

cyanide. you just die, nothing special. it's the fastest and most painless

Lay down in the snow and fall asleep at night. This winter.

where do you get it?
The local jewelery doesnt work, if you dont know how to use cyanide on gold or whatever

Killing yourself via train is a great way to go down as an asshole. Not only will your traumitize the train conductor and any onlookers who had to witness your retardation, but you also inconvenience everyone else. The train gets delayed for hours. Some company has to go and clean up the remains of your failure of a body. Everyone's day gets shittier.

If you want to hang yourself in your room, shoot yourself, poison yourself with pills, etc. I get it. But why inconvenience and screw with someone else just because you don't like your own life?

This is why I hate suicidal people. They're so completely selfish and don't think of anyone else but themselves.

It depends on the person. If the person wants guaranteed success, a handgun and a shot to the head. There is chemical suffocation with Hydrogen Sulfide but there is a danger of harming others. There are lots of considerations to the "best". For instance, poison ruins your body for organ donation.

so? whats wrong with being selfish

You're annoyed by selfishness he because it competes with your own selfishness. Therefore you hate yourself.

you'd probably have to find it online unless you want to get 200+ apple seeds to get a fatal dosage

>tell us?
i'm thinking of buying a gun and shooting myself. but first i would get drunk and/or high, probably backing out, rinsing and repeating, until one day when i'd actually go through with it.

a gun is a good idea to have around anyway in case of serious illness/war/muslim apocalypse/something else

wouldnt you just puke them out?
I saw some offers online, but Im not sure if they deliver without a certain reason and its pretty expensive for a poorfag...

I would probably do the same, but I dont have access to guns in Germany.

Dont be afraid of muslim apocalypse, I'm white and more afraid of my own race...

if you ingest them really really fast i don't think they'd get rejected. though you'd have to get it on the deep web, and i haven't tried it out so idk how pricing and whatnot would be

M80 up butt

you'd have to get pills* on the dw

No one else benefits but the one being selfish. If everyone had the same philosophy then society would be fucked. Lot's of great things happen because people are selfless put others before themselves. There's some people who fall on hard times are convinced they're somehow obligated to be selfish and invest only in themselves to get ahead in life when if they just took the time to help others around them they'd see that their lives would improve as well.

It's cheesy sounding but it's true. You get satisfaction out of helping others and that in turn makes you feel better as well. Tired of feeling sorry for yourself and down on your luck? Try actually doing something to help instead of wallowing in self pity, drowning yourself in alcohol/drugs.

People who commit suicide don't make since to me. If you've decided your life is so shitty that you want to kill yourself and you have enough conviction to kill yourself, why not channel that energy to make your life better? Do you know how hard it is to actually kill yourself? Your body is sending every signal possible to keep you from doing it. If you somehow can fight off those signals and commit enough willpower to kill yourself, tell me how you cannot muster up the energy to better your situation and fix whatever problem has got you so bummed out that you even considered ending your life as an option?

It can take a while but life works. It will kill you eventually.

Head on railroad tracks.

i googled and you can get a gun in Germany. can't you get Waffenbesitzkarte?

so? FUCK SOCIETY

Don't you have an Atifa protest you should be attending right now with your Guy Fawkes mask, little child?

Life isn't society. Life isn't since, I'm an outlaw. Life isn't being a grown up adult

Onlookers benefit. And it frees up space. And it makes for a good story. Suicide is romantic. It also represents a triumph of the human spirit, defeating the self.

BREATH IN LOTS OF HELIUM. ITS PAINLESS OR SO I HAVE HEARD

These motherfuckers need to grow up. They don't know what it really means

>Onlookers benefit.
How?

>And it frees up space.
Frees up space? Are you implying that overpopulation is somehow an issue? Because it isn't. There's so much land that is not being utilized land and wilderness right now that's not being utilized that overpopulation will never be an issue

>And it makes for a good story.
Guy jumping into a train or killing himself has been done a million times before. It's literally just background noise now when you hear someone has killed themself. And is a "good story" justification enough to kill yourself?

>Suicide is romantic. It also represents a triumph of the human spirit, defeating the self.
If that's your interpretation of it, then sure. I don't think many other people see it that way or else we wouldn't have suicide presentation hotlines and so many resources and stigma against killing yourself. You can romanticize your odd fetish of ending ones own life all you want, but when it comes down to it it's just some person ceasing to exist.

Cold at first. Then a feeling of warmth and falling asleep.

>but when it comes down to it it's just some person ceasing to exist.
>ceasing to exist
Or crossing over. We don't know yet.

Join the Army and kill sandniggers until one of them kills you. Might as well have some fun before you die horribly.

Seems unlikely. Most spirituality comes off as wishful thinking.

We're all just matter from the universe that happened to formulate into a life form with its own consciousness through a series of chemical reactions. It's just a coincidence really. People think there's something that happens at the end of your life. Some place you go. I just think your matter is returned back to the universe where you end up as a rock or tree or a frog or something until that matter is taken and converted into something else again.

Basically I think it's a extreme coincidence that you're able to be consciousness and alive right now because there's an infinite amount of things you could've been and who knows what you were before. You're now a consciousness life form experiencing the universe that you are so use that time wisely to do something cool with it instead of just offing yourself so you can be a fucking rock again for the next million years.

Fuck you stingray

How fucking dumb are you?

>mfw i live in a smallisland and there are no trains, also no cliffs or high buildings. The other day after yet another quarrel with my poor gf I saw myself in a dreadful mental state, walking along the main road at night. Had the idea of waiting for a car to pass by and jump in front of it, hit it with my head. Does Sup Forums think it would be sure enough if the car is doing, say, 40 mil/hr?

>hiding in the shadow, ninjastyle

Mah nigga

go and seek help

What's dumb about that?

I live in Sweden. Might try. I guess being drunk will help

you need a specific reason to get this card, for example working for a moneyspeditioncompany or the police...

what about hanging?

Not to do it at all. Unless you are compelled to hurt others. Just stick around event are unfolding such that humanity has less than 60 years left anyway.

Grow the fuck up! Go talk to a professional.

Listening to nice music works just as well. It's extremely comfy to fall asleep in snow

sure, but you know? it needs some preparation. I'd rather go for that split second of clairvoyance, enough to jump off a cliff ot in the tran tracks.
We'll see. Life is pointless and any minute in this grotesque masquerade of a life is just a waste of energy, suffering for no reason and making some sonofawhore happey with my disgrace.

Natural causes

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thanks pal. Thing is I'm southern european, and Im not used to cold climate. Will consider.

Maybe its easier when there are more persons together heading for the same goal... :/

sei calabrese?

I am alone in this world. Everyone I loved used and rused me, my family neglected me for being a sod, and it's really time to go.

sono spagnolo di merda e stroncio

Eating a grenade is better

Shotgun to the head, nice bait

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Here are enough people heading for this goal, me included

Io amo la spagna, paela e il migliore mangiare sul mondo

Liberal retards seem to be fond of the burning method kek

Smashing a the valve on a huge industrial nitrogen tank with a sledgehammer is painless. They are super common aswell.

how could that work?

we should meet and mass suicide
best spanish food is jamon de jabugo. You must try before you go, fratello

ciao user, che ci fai qui?
ti spari?

nice dubs, aquatic animal

What about shooting as a hobby at gun range?

Valve gets smashed, nitrogen starts spewing out, removing all the oxygen around the tank for atleast half an hour. anything within 100 feet will just painlessy die due to hypoxia. Its a huge exit bag.

Are they outdoors? Does it work outdoors?

Masturbate 42 times

Gun

tried, didn't work
you, son, are the most retarded crature ever to be born. It'd be a shame if you anhero