Hey Sup Forumsros quick question, what is the fastest most unhealthy way to lose 100lbs fast, i want to join the navy...

Hey Sup Forumsros quick question, what is the fastest most unhealthy way to lose 100lbs fast, i want to join the navy, but i want to join as fast as possible, just lost my job so nows the best time. Pic related, me being fat and possibly drunk

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do crack

Cocaine my dude

Amateur home liposuction

Eat no more then 600 calories a day.Drink alot of water, dont over hydrate, just drink water when you need it/feel dehydrated.

Legitimately considered it but unfortunately I have a wife who frowns upon drugs and I'm more of a hallucinogenic person anyway, also worried id get hooked.

>100lbs fast
it took a while to get that fucking fat so it will take a while to drop it. Sorry fatty

Thanks user right now im cooking a chicken breast and a can of spinach, a total of 185 calories. What kind of food should i eat? What are filling but still extremely low in calories?

smoke weed everyday

baked chicken and brown rice

Lol actually didnt take long at all to get this fat, ended up having to drop out of school and work full time at mcdonalds to pay rent (got my high school diploma now) i was literally the supersize me guy. pic related, me when i wasnt fat

a) only eat five days a week, and on the days you do eat, only eat once.

b) do lots of cardio, start lifting, and eat clean.

a is easier, b is healthier and probably faster too.

Isnt brown rice a carb though? I heard people tell me to stay away from carbs, but sounds like that shit is in everything

yeah sure that helps.

OP, first: stop eating in general. You simply take a week off, lay in bed and stop eating for a week. This will get you about 4 lbs per day, more if you manage to do sport everyday. You can do this for about 14 days before you will be extremely lifethreatened. Then just eat low carb for a week and repeat.
Works four of five times everytime.

To lose 100 lbs will take about 6 months of nothing but exercise and a diet of nothing but steamed broccoli and skinless chicken breast, no gravy no alcohol nothing but water to drink, and constant cardio. Alternately, the easier option for you to lose 100lb is chop off a leg.

just chop it off already.

First and foremost: don't take your advice from Sup Forums. Except for that advice.

There are literally millions of better sources for "what food should [you] eat" than Sup Forums. But high protein low carb is a good start.

Start off with moderate exercise but graudually increase it daily. Don't go all out and wind yourself on the first day, but do break a sweat and get out of breath for a bit. Then do more the next day. Read up (somewhere other than Sup Forums) on what you should be doing.

There is no magic cure for you. You can't drop that kind of weight in a month or two without fucking yourself up. It'll take at least a year of very hard work and focus and dedication. Good luck faggot.

You need carbs or you will be hypoglycemic.
Ignore carbs such as bread,hamburger buns, sugar etc.Those are shitty carbs that are just empty fillers.
Brown rice is low carb, 32 calories per 1 oz, you can eat it 10 times a day and still not be over your allotment of calories.

You still have to eat to lose weight.

this

>the fastest most unhealthy way to lose 100lbs fast
step 1: get a knife
step 2: no, an even bigger knife
step 3: ???
step 4: profit

Thanks dad, will do.


Also anybody know if yoga actually works?

Penn Jillette lost 100lbs in 3 months. He wrote a book called Presto.

The premise is pretty simple: eat a mono diet of some vegetable, like potato, then eat a calorie limited diet and thermo cycle daily.

I've also heard about the positive benefits of water fasting. I can't find the source right now but there was a military experiment which tested fasting and super low calorie diets and the fasting guys had less emotional struggle.

Not if you're pretty fat. I'm pretty fat and I juiced all day for 2 days and half hour of cardio 45 min of lifting both days and I lost 14 pounds

wtf why should yoga help los weight. faggot

the fatter you are the faster it comes off in the beginning. the first 14 pounds will be easy but the last 14 pounds will be much much harder.

You know nothing about working out do you? Yoga is a hard as fuck and you will sweat your balls off as well as being extremely sore the next day

So he can say that he worked out 8 hours every day.

This, so much this

This is true and exactly how I lost my weight. I kept my calorie intake below 900. Most of the time I hovered between 700 and 900.

I did absolutely no exercise with exception to normal, everyday activity. I lost 90 pounds in about 100 days. No bullshit.

Yoga is pretty hard on an obese body as it requires stretching and joint loading that your body probably can't handle carrying around all that extra weight.

That said, yoga does strengthen your body and make it more limber and agile.

youtube.com/watch?v=VKs0oEIVOck

No shit Sherlock I'm e playing that it won't take forever to get down 100 pounds if you're already 300 I'm like 285 and I could lose 30 pounds one week with discipline. To bad I don't have any cause I love my booze and Chinese food mutha fucka

This'll be my staple then

Also meal rn

meth

That's why you do begginers yoga and build up

Truth: When you're cutting calories drastically, there is no such thing as filling. Drink a glass of water before and after your meal to fill you up.

Is that a motherfucking slender loris?! Does it sing in the club-style?

A lot of obese folks get seriously discouraged when the newb losses start tapering off and the difficulty increase. I just wanted OP to be prepared for that.

I've never attended a yoga class so I'll have to take your word on that.

Good point good point. I'm getting married in 6 weeks so going on a heavy diet after my bachelor party this weekend

Tapeworm

You're welcome, m'boy.

Yoga can't hurt, but a brisk 20 minute walk is better imo. You want plenty of moderate cardio that very gradually gets harder. Yoga is basically just stretching and shit, so far as I can tell. As a rule: If you're not sweating, it's not working.

Last thing: monitor your progress and set milestone goals. Make it in to a competition for yourself and give yourself a little reward when you reach a milestone.

lol this excuse is actually more lame than "bad knees". Just start running you fatty.

You look like a guy I know, you from Jersey?

You have just confirmed my point you idiot

what did you eat over the day?

Actually from philly, but i moved down to NC quite a while ago

who cares

I imagine the guy from jersey, because if he lived in camden or trenton he probably does know me

Ahh well shit man you're like a spitting image of him

Which part of jersey you from (please not newark)

it is never newark

Lol exactly

Less calories is the way. Even faster if you do not consume carbs/sugars.

That being said, I think you're damn sexy.
I'd suck you off anytime

Post more pics!

Mostly grilled chicken. Honestly though, I found that as long as I kept my calories low, I coukd still eat whatever I wanted. The downside to this is the calorie content in the stuff we like is typically so high, that eating whatever I wanted equated to about one meal.

That wasn't bad for me, but the downside for me was if I did eat what I liked, I'd fuck myself if I ate early in the day. Example:

Lunch and dinner: Grilled chicken and kept myself feeling relatively full.

Eating what I liked: Not as much food, never felt full, and unless I waited until diner to eat, I was extremely hungry before bed and couldn't do anything about it.

Haha no not Newark, I was there for college in New Brunswick last year, back in my home state now.

>slender loris
damn straight son!

also checked

Live off popcorn, no butter, no salt. Drink water.

DNP

New brunswick is definitely not a bad place glad you got through new jersey lol

There's good carbs and bad carbs. People that yell no carbs are idiot cucks

Screencapped, thanks man

Lol sorry bro i dont swing that way, but thanks for the compliment, if thats you, you have a righteous beard

>>/fit/

LOok up the military diet, you can lose 10 pounds in 3 days

not me.
but I love big bearded dudes. I'd pay to suck you off

No worries. When you cut your calories, you burn muscle as well. I recommend grilled chicken Dutch to the high protein.

Also, make sure you give yourself a cheat day every once in a whole. Maybe every 10 to 14 days, eat what you enjoy, just don't go nuts. Do this and it will make your diet much more bearable. You'll start noticing weight loss within a couple of weeks. It will start pouring off of you.

Sounds unrealistic to me, stick to something that you can reasonably accomplish. There's got to be a few type of jobs that are looking for fat men.

Dude i fucking love popcorn, but no salt or butter, its sounds shitty


Good to hear man, got the wife picking up brown rice at the store

Ill most certainly check it out

Sorry dude i got a wife for that

I have a bad habit of turning a cheat day into a cheat week then saying fuck it to the entire thing, lol i dont think i can do a cheat day tbh

>I'm like 285 and I could lose 30 pounds one week with discipline

So roughly 4000 kc/pound gives 120.000 Kcal.
So per day this is 17000+ kcal.

>seems legit
Sounds like your fat is showing. hurrdurr could lose if I wanted too.

Join the army, they are fatasses anyway.

Did you work at yupps?

Lol navy has a better science program though,

Whats yupps?

Guess not then

honestly L shaped pull ups are the only exercise you need to get hench, to lose weight though id suggest rowing or running. Amphetamines and smoking.

Here are my quints

Dude just fast and that's it. Look on Reddit for results

I used to feel that way, but I would always remind myself why I had been putting myself through hell. If you think you can do it without, then by all means, go for it and good luck.

3500 calories are equal to one pound of fat loss. You might be able to drop it momentarily, but it would be mostly water weight and you couldn't sustain it.

realistically its not going to happen, stop entertaining the fatass anons

Lipo

Keto.

Keep carbs at 20 or below. Take magnesium and plenty of potassium and you won't get the keto 'flu'. Watch your macros carefully.

Cocaine and speed binges ma man

Doesn't work I do a lot of coke and I'm still a chubster

Unfortunately nothing low in calories is filling that's what's so hard about it

Meth.

That is a lot better, now he only has 15000 kcal/day to burn to make good on his statement.

Anyway he is a deluded fatfag. See it with chubby-to-fat friends, they are infernally convinced that that 25 pound beer-belly would disappear magically within a week if they really put themselves to it...

Smoke weed for a while then quit and it will help you feel less hungry all the time

Get on gear. Clen, winny, dnp. Cycle those three in a caloric deficit and you'll lose 100 in a couple months

Smoke Cigarettes.

Oh, I know. It's always the "I coukd if I wanted to" people that never actually "do".

>don't take any advice off Sup Forums
>gives advice on Sup Forums

Gastric bypass or drugs.

Good luck fatass, i mean it. Lose that shit and you'll get more pussy, money and respect.

Kind of defeats the purpose when u smother the chicken in sauce you fat slob

Dont assume dude, im not saying i can do it but i sure as hell will try, and im not prone to quiting, i just want a fast way to do it, because im out of a job right now and have the down time to do shit like working out and fasting and counting my calories, and if i was fast enough, maybe i could say fuck it and join the military rather than work at another shitty factory job. I feel like my life is going no where and the military is where i need to be to be it back on track, im not saying im not a "deluded fatfag" but i sure as fuck a "determined fatfag"

can't eat if you can't afford to

That definitely just the juices from the chicken, because i pan-seared it with olive oil drizzle and garlic powder salt and pepper.

True

tape worm
or lead poisoning

I see. You should remove all skin and bake it in the future with now oil. Spices are ok I like lots of black pepper. Another good way to cook a chicken breast is to poach it it keeps the chicken really juicy. I also like to put a poached egg on top it makes it a more substantial meal