Please help me Sup Forums

Please help me Sup Forums

You're my only hope.

The storm is coming for me and I'm too poor and unprepared to survive it. I will probably be a fatality due to how little I planned and how I have no water or food or shutters/wood. My house is a piece of shit and will likely fall apart with me and my pets inside of it.

The shelves are picked clean here and the gas is gone. I'd have to go to the next town over about 40 mins away.

I never ask for money but fuck, I'll even beg on Sup Forums apparently. How do I make money quick? What do? Seriously what the fuck do I have to do to not be this poor and pathetic?

I have shit luck so it's going to hit me dead on like hurricane fucking Charie did.

I've already posted on the reddit money getting subreddits but I'm shadow banned for some reason so no one can see me begging.

you'd probably have a better chance begging on the interstate than Sup Forums bud

You've only got one hope friend, suck cock for a nickel at the local emergency shelter.

go suck cock in bathrooms

There are designated government shelters, likely in your town. Most likely a school or other sturdy structure. Get in contact with emergency services and explain you have no money or means to get to the shelter. Something can be worked out, the government is obligated to transport you to shelter as long as you are in a mandatory evacuation zone. Good luck

good luck faggot

Blast the hurricane away with a well timed fart.

Just leave everything behind and head North you fucking pussy.

...

So what can you pawn?

Well, you have your pet for food suplies.

Well he still got his butthole.

send us your shit in the mail and we'll send it back when the hurricane is done.

Maybe he can send himself in the mail.

Sucks to be you. Should of been prepared.

He could, but why not just hotmail us a picture to jerk off too?

Because then you could give him surprise buttsex whenever you want.

What's your hotmail?

I am not op sir fagalot

>being this slow
>not getting an extension of xe's own joke
>not having a hotmail

shouldn't you be getting ready for school?

Nope but you should you retard.

Nice 1 m8

...

...

I'm 305 & live in storm surge zone A. I'm staying put in my 2nd story condo unit. I've only got water, crackers, & summer sausage. If need be, I live by the water & will proceed to tame the surviving alligators after the storm; hopefully we won't die.

Inb4 you get buttfucked by alligators then you die.

Sucks for you. You're a normie. You need to be purged

What if the hurricane gives him super powers?

Find a way to bring your pet with you and run user.
Hitchhike or whatever it takes.
Figure out if there is a public shelter nearby, go there.

>Implying the average Floridian can't handle an alligator.

Poor fucking you, I planned a nice day out drinking and fishing.
Now we have Thunder storms thanks to America.

fake news

Sell your rusty gold?
>hooah Frankie we got us a squealer
>pin him down ima going in for muh rusty gold
>freestyle

Your face is fake news

this is how natural selection works my friend

I hope all of Florida gets wrecked. Its the worst state anyways

Your insults are fake.

Kinda wish I had a .gif of some wrestler jumping in on a match already in progress to describe my jumping in on this back and forth insulting... Surely someone will obligate me with that. Ooor, I may end up with the double ended dildo coming out of one ass and going into the other... In either case I have made this pathetic thread >9000 times better with my monologue. TO THE BATCAVE!

join islam. you'll get help

You wish they were fake.

In tour dying moments, do 2 things:

Live stream and send link

Know that more taxes could have prevented the weather, and you could be sipping cocktails on the beach rather than drowning it shit stink sewage if only you'd stayed in the Paris accord.

It is likely op's power will go out long before he drowns in poo water.

I'd help you out if I could but I'm skint, mate.

Isn't there some richfag here who could help a nigga out? He's down on his luck.

The only thing he can do now is put himself in a big box and try to mail himself somewhere safer.

suck 100 dicks for $1 each.

Get off your fat ass and start walking away from the hurricane

I have to agree.
Start walking, and get your thumb out.

If you're poor why do you have pets? Idiot.

I'm just gonna get black out drunk and play dnd staying in a house that's literally on top of a huge hill I'm gonna be fine

Start downloading as much porn as you can right now. Make sure you get all the fetishes. Then when the storm goes, sell your porn for cash since the internet will be down. It is your duty to minimize the rape from horny Floridians.

be a man and accept your destiny, and remember nobody lives forever

Just move the fuck inland. You got like 45 hours still, just go.

This, bonus points of you go out on your roof during the storm and yell defiantly at the heavens.

>rusty gold

I have bad news for you about your jewelry.

this is how southern FL will look in just a couple of days

Just sharpie your ssn on your arm and wait for nature to take its course

Tough shit. Should have planned better, huh?

YOU ARE NOT PREPARED!

> 40 minutes

40 drive is about 5-6 hour walk

just walk it you faggot, take a bunch o nuts n water n get the fuck out

I mean, he could probably ride a bike too

or maybe take a boat (lol)

How many alligator butlers will there be?

Only one alligator butler at first, but then he will train the rest.

let me tell you about the jews...

post your library card number so I can transfer you some cash

The weak die
The strong survive
Welcome to the real world

maybe if you had more proof someone would help like photos of the inside of your house, cupboards
ya know shit like that

When will the hurricane hit Florida?

Why is it so fucking hard for you lazy fucks to find an image of a current fucking storm?

Obviously you googled "hurricane" and downloaded a random image.

Would typing 5 extra characters so fucking hard, or can you just not spell " irma"?

Fuck, at this point you could JUST type "irma" and find a current image.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

I hope you drown, you lazy cunt.

It depends on close to the water you are. If you live near the coast where it can flood easily, you need to get the fuck out asap. If you don't then go to the Hardware store and get plywood / sandbags. You can follow a youtube video on how to properly apply them. If you cant do either of these things then you're probably a useless member of our society and you deserve to die anyways

sunday in the morning

Just saying, the entire national guard is in florida and texas at the moment, you could easily call ur governor and ask for an escort out and theyll bus you to the tallahassee base and shelter.

Otherwise, you might as well find an elderly household and kill them asap and take their resources, lots of old ppl tend not to leave during storms. Hurricane wilma killed mainly old ppl cause they didbt want to leave.

Or you just lay down and wait to die. I rather kill someone than go out if you are able bodied and they arent.

>national guard
what is that, some kind of police force?
not amerifag btw

go to one of those pay where you buy car places and take a test drive

National guard is a bunch of military ppl who stare at beaners most the time at the border.

Its usuallt mobilized to stop nigger riots but they also police and do rescues during natural disasters

I live in zone C and we got 8 ft in andrew. Your going to get 15. Rip pupper

Its essentially state "military" it is still US Armed Forces, but there is one branch per state and many of them are part time and operate like a reserves.